I took my fear out on Lark. It was easier to make it feel like it was his fault than to admit my own fears.
I looked toward his room. I stood up and took a deep breath. I knew what I had to do.
I let the hot water run over my face as I tried to understand what just happened. How could she think I’d treat her like all those other girls? I’m doing everything I possibly can to show her how much she means to me. What in the fuck happened? She’d seemed to like what we were doing. I knew it turned her on, but then something switched in her.
I’m no good for her. I made her feel dirty and used.
Maybe she was pushing me away because she found out I’m still active duty? Fuck!
As soon as we landed, I jumped on my bike and headed straight to her. I wasn’t even thinking I was still in my uniform. I warned her…I told her I wasn’t any good for her.
I closed my eyes and put my hands against the back of the shower. I jumped when I felt her hands touch me. The feeling that zipped through my body when she touched me caused goose bumps to come up all over my body. I turned around and she was standing there naked.
She is so damn beautiful. I don’t deserve her.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I blamed you for my own insecurities. Lark, I really enjoyed what we did…a lot. More than I want to admit.”
I looked at her, confused.
She began chewing on her bottom lip. I reached up and pulled it out from her teeth.
“Talk to me Azurdee, because I’m confused as hell. I’ve tried so hard to show you…”
She put her finger up to my lips to stop me from talking.
“I’ve always been the good girl. The girl who waited to find the perfect guy to give her virginity to. The girl who was always making sure her friends got home from parties, who sat there and listened to them all talk about sex and how amazing it was. When I met you for the first time and you smiled at me, you turned something on deep inside of me. I love who I am with you, Lark, but it…it scares me that I crave your touch as much as I do. I’d never been so turned on as I was earlier. Knowing that someone was watching us…it thrilled me and I was…I was…”
“Tell me,” I whispered.
“When it hit me what we had done, I panicked and I guess I let my imagination run wild when I said those things to you. You’ve never treated me like that. I swear to you. You’ve made me feel so wonderful. I feel cherished when you make love to me. I feel wanted when you look at me with lust in your eyes.”
She looked down and began crying. I pulled her to me and wanted more than anything to tell her how much I loved her.
I held her for a few minutes before she looked up at me and said, “It was really hot.”
I smiled and said, “Hottest damn thing I’ve ever done.”
She grinned and said, “Me too.”
I laughed and picked her up as she wrapped her legs around me.
“I can’t get enough of you, mi amor. I rushed to your house as soon as we landed. I never wanted you to find out that I was still in the Marines.”
She looked into my eyes and tilted her head. “Can I ask why you tell everyone you’re not in the Marines?”
My heart slammed in my chest. “I um…I kind of work undercover. I can’t really talk about it.”
She nodded her head and said, “Good enough for me. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone.”
I pushed her against the wall and kissed her. “I love you so much,” she whispered as I buried my face in her neck and closed my eyes.
Guarda mi corazón.
I wanted so badly to tell her I loved her, but I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be able to tell her that.
I gently set her down and she smiled and picked up the soap and washcloth and began washing me off.
The next thing I remembered I was lying down and pulling her next to me as I fell asleep.
Right before I drifted off to sleep she whispered,
“I’ll love you unconditionally, Lark Williams. Forever.”
When I saw the house come into view I took a deep breath. Tristan had already called to tell me our mother was all over Ryn from the first moment she laid eyes on her.
“Lark? Are you okay?” Azurdee asked. I looked at her and smiled. “I am. I’m just worried my mother is going to attack you and start talking babies and shit. I don’t want you to stress about what she says to you, okay?”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Please. Wait until you meet my parents.”
I swallowed hard just thinking about meeting her father. I gripped the steering wheel harder. When she placed her hand on my arm I instantly relaxed.
“It’ll be fine. Please don’t worry.”
I nodded and tried to smile.
“Jesus, that house is huge!” Azurdee said.
And there was my mother. Right on cue. Tristan and Ryn were walking up behind her as my mother jumped up and down clapping her hands. I wanted to just keep driving and leave.
I stopped a few feet back and put the truck in park and turned and looked at Azurdee. She was smiling as she watched my mother.
“Azurdee?”
She tilted her head as she looked at me. “I um…I haven’t brought anyone here before, besides Nikki. I um…well I…”
She placed her hand on the side of my face and smiled the most beautiful smile. “Stop. It’s okay and I just love that you brought me here to meet your parents. Lark, I’m not trying to push you into anything you’re not ready for. Please know that.”
I closed my eyes and opened them again. The look in her eyes would have dropped me to my knees if I had been standing up. “I’m scared, Azurdee. I’m so fucking scared of the feelings that I have for you.”
Her lips parted open and she looked like she wanted to say something but she bit down on her lower lip and then said, “It’s a shame your mother is standing there waiting for us, because I really want to crawl onto your lap and make love to you.”
I looked back at my mother and sighed. “Ah fuck. This is going to be a long two weeks.”
I jumped out of the truck and waved to my screaming mother. “Michael! Oh don’t make me wait another second!”
I smiled and walked up to the passenger side of my truck. I opened the door and held my hand out and whispered, “Get ready for the monster.”
She punched me in the stomach and said, “Stop that!”
Azurdee turned and began walking toward my mother. “Oh. My. God! You are beautiful.” She placed her hands on Azurdee’s face and looked her up and down. “Oh, Michael. Where did you find such a beautiful young lady?”