I lay there in bed and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever. This is exactly why I needed to guard my damn heart. I couldn’t afford to get all tied up emotionally with someone.
Not only could my heart not take it, but also my life depended on it. I slowly gave myself over to sleep.
Guard your heart…always.
I picked up my phone only to see another missed call from Lark. He had texted me late last night to let me know he was home. I knew it was shitty of me to ignore his calls today, but I couldn’t shake the hurt feeling I had when he blew me off the night before last. I had felt so used after he just brushed me off.
I closed my eyes and thought back to the dance we had together at the wedding.
I’m not sure if I can be what you want me to be.
I felt a tear run down my cheek. I knew what I was getting myself into with Lark. The idea of him meeting up with another girl had my stomach turning. I knew he said he wouldn’t do that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me.
I thought back to my conversation with Jessie earlier this morning.
“Azurdee, I think it’s because you know he is so secretive about his job. You’re reading too much into it. Just take a step back. It’s Lark we’re talking about. The boy did not do commitment ever, so don’t push him.”
“I’m not pushing him. At least I don’t think I am. What do I do?” I asked as a sob escaped my lips.
“Sweetheart, just take it a day at a time and don’t expect too much from him all at once. I think with Lark it’s going to have to be baby steps.”
I slammed my hands down on my sofa and let out a not-so-ladylike sound. I needed to go for a run or something to clear my head. I made my way into my room and changed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt.
My phone began ringing again and I looked to see it was Lark calling again. I hit reject and decided I would call him after my run when my head was clearer.
I walked into the kitchen and set my phone on the counter and then grabbed a cold water bottle out of the fridge.
I stuck my keys in my pocket and made my way to the door. I opened the door and let out a small scream. Lark was standing there.
How? When?
I sucked in a breath of air and asked, “How did you know where I lived? I mean…what are you doing here?”
“Why are you ignoring my calls?” he asked as he stood there with sunglasses on looking hot as hell. The heat from his body was making it hard for me to think straight.
What did Jessie say? One day at a time.
“Well, after your reaction to me on the phone the other day, I thought maybe you needed some time.”
He tilted his head and looked at me. “Time for what?”
I looked down at his lips as he licked them. Oh God. I want his lips on my body. I wanted them to give me another mind-blowing orgasm.
“I don’t know. Time to think. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about us… I mean…this.”
He took a step closer to me, causing me to take a few steps back into my house. “I’ve been calling you all day and you haven’t answered. It seems to me you’re the one who needed time.”
I swallowed hard and took in a long slow breath. I slowly shook my head and said, “No. I just…I don’t want to push you or make you think that…that...” My mouth dropped open slightly as I watched him pull his T-shirt up and over his head as he walked in and shut my front door. I kept walking backwards until I hit the sofa, my eyes fixed on his massive built chest.
“You have no idea how much I missed you. How much I’ve been dreaming about being inside you. Yes, Azurdee, that scares the shit out of me, but I don’t want to end what we’ve started. I want you so damn much it almost hurts.”
Lark removed his sunglasses and began unbuttoning his pants as I smiled and looked up into his eyes, and that’s when I noticed it. I put my hand up to my mouth and said, “Oh my God. Your eye!”
He stopped and didn’t move. I looked at his eye, which had a huge cut above it. The entire area around his right eye was black and blue. My heart instantly hurt knowing that he had hurt himself.
“What in the world happened?”
He smiled again and said, “I was hiking and slipped on some rocks and fell.” He continued to take off his pants. The daylight streaming into my front windows allowed me to see his body perfectly. I noticed he had a small round scar on his right side. Why didn’t I notice that the other night?
When he dropped his pants, his erection sprung free and my stomach dropped. I began licking my lips.
“Do you like what you see, Azurdee?” he whispered.
I swallowed hard and nodded my head. Unable to talk, I just kept staring at him. I couldn’t believe that thing was inside me. He was now standing in front of me completely naked.
He placed his hands on the sides of my face and lifted my face so that I was looking directly into his beautiful green eyes. “I’m so sorry I hurt you the other night. I didn’t mean to, I just…I got spooked. I’m not used to feeling like this, and it scares the shit out of me. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. When you weren’t answering your phone, I was scared to death I had pushed you away. I can’t lose you, mi amor. I won’t lose you.”
I bit down on my lower lip, trying to keep my tears at bay. His voice was almost pleading.
I said in almost a whisper, “I’m sorry I wasn’t answering my phone.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine as he let out a low growl. “God you drive me insane with want, Azurdee. I need to be inside you so badly. Please let me make love to you.”
Oh. My. God. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.
I wanted to quickly strip out of my clothes and tell him to have his way with me, but I had a feeling he needed this to be slow, intimate, and sweet.
I reached for the bottom of my T-shirt and began to pull it over my head. Lark dropped his hands from my face and took a step back. I pulled my sports bra over my head next, and watched as Lark licked his lips. His eyes were moving over my body quickly and I knew he was trying like hell to keep his hands off of me. I decided to use it to my advantage.
I removed both my sneakers and then slowly slid my pants down. I removed them and kicked them off to the side. The only thing I had on now was a pair of light pink lace panties. When I looked up at his face, his mouth was open slightly and I could see his breathing was increasing. I loved that my body could pull such a reaction out of him. Especially since I knew Lark had been with many women before me, but I was pretty sure I was the only one who could evoke this type of passion from him.