Reed started to move closer toward me. I knew he just wanted to take me into his arms, but I needed to do this.
I put my hand up to stop him. “No, wait. I have to get this all out, Reed. Please,” I said as I looked into his tear-filled eyes.
Taking in a shaky breath, I closed my eyes and slowly opened them again. I needed to think about my future with Reed. I wanted a future with him. I wanted kids. I wanted to finally let go of this darkness that was buried so deep inside of me. I had to get this all out.
“He told me he would hurt my parents, and then he would go after my younger sister, who was only fourteen at the time.”
Reed sucked in a breath of air and whispered, “Fucking bastard.”
“So, I promised him I wouldn’t make any noise, and I wouldn’t tell anyone our secret. The moment I felt him down there, I just kind of got lost in my own world. I started repeating my favorite book quotes over and over in my head.”
“My God, Courtney,” Reed whispered as he reached up and wiped away my tears.
I squeezed his hand, my knuckles turning white. “He started staying at our house more and more. Each time he came into my room, I would just try to disappear into another world. I tried to pretend I was with the love of my life, but it never worked. He just destroyed me more and more after each time.”
I took a deep breath in and then let it out. “It went on for three months until I couldn’t take it anymore. One night, I was watching my father clean his guns. I told him I wanted to learn more about how to clean them. I had gone hunting with my father a lot, so it made sense to him that I was interested in knowing more about guns. After that, I only needed the combo to his gun safe.”
Reed began shaking his head.
“I got the combo, and the next night Noah stayed with us, I snuck into my father’s office and took a handgun. I checked to make sure it was loaded, and it was. I brought it up to my room and put it under my pillow. I had the safety on the whole time. I was ready to put a stop to all of it. When Noah came into my room that night, I didn’t care what I had to do.”
I took a second to look at Reed. His eyes were filled with such sadness, but there was also something else there—anger.
“He told me to get undressed and said that we were going to try something new.”
Reed pulled his hand from mine and ran it down his face. I could see his anger growing more and more.
He began shaking his head. “I want to kill him, Courtney,” he said as he looked me in the eyes.
My heart started beating faster, and I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. “Reed,” I barely whispered, “I just need to get this all out…please.”
He slowly nodded his head and took my hand in his again.
Praying to get through this, I began again. “So, anyway, I stood up with the gun, faced him, and pointed it at him. I told him it all stopped right then and there. I was willing to spend the rest of my life in jail if it meant he would leave me alone.”
“Your sister?” Reed asked in a whispered voice.
“I told him I would sit outside her door with the gun every night if I had to. He never stayed with us again. He somehow talked his parents into letting my brother come to his house when they went out of town. After Noah and my brother left for college, they hardly ever came home. When they did, they stayed at their girlfriends’ places, so I didn’t have to worry about my sister.”
Reed cleared his throat and looked away before glancing back at me. “Did he ever…your sister?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I asked her once if Noah had ever approached her in a way that made her uncomfortable, and she said no before asking me why I would ask her that. I’m almost a hundred percent sure he never touched her.”
“Wait…Court, you never told her about what happened?”
I slowly shook my head and whispered, “I’ve never told anyone.”
Something I’d never seen before moved across Reed’s face. He pulled back and looked down a little to the side, like he was thinking about something.
“What Whitley said to me that night…” His face snapped up, and he looked me in the eyes.
I looked at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Baby, you never even told Whitley?” he asked.
The concern in his voice and the knowledge that I’d actually told someone hit me like a brick wall, and I began crying hysterically.
“No. You’re the…first person…I’ve told,” I said in between sobs.
He grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. He held me as he gently ran his hand up and down my back. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. I just needed him to hold me right now. I felt so incredibly safe in his arms.
I wasn’t sure how long Reed held me while I cried. Something happened though, and the more I cried and the tighter he held me, the more free I felt. That dark, dirty secret I had held on to for so long was finally lifting away.
“Courtney, I’m so sorry that happened to you, baby. It kills me to know that you’ve been hurting for so long. I…”
I heard him hold in a sob, and my heart started pounding. I couldn’t look at him, or I would start crying again.
“I want to love you forever, Courtney. I want to give you what you deserve and do nothing but make you feel my love for you every single day.”
I slowly pulled away and looked at him. I just stared at him as I took in everything he’d said. This is what I’ve always dreamed of. Reed, my Prince Charming, was going to rescue me and love me for the rest of my life.
He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and gave me the sweetest smile. “I love you, Courtney. I’ll always love you…forever,” he whispered.
“I love you, too, Reed. Forever.”
He started to move me off his lap, and I instantly missed his warmth. He stood up and reached down for my hand. As he helped me up, he whistled, and both horses began walking over to us.
I looked at the horses and then back at Reed. “Holy shit, that was awesome. Will that work for you, too?” I said with a wink.
He smiled bigger as he placed both hands on my face, and he brought me in for the most amazing kiss of my life. It was so gentle and filled with so much love. I’d never in my life experienced anything like it.
“I want to give you what you deserve, Courtney,” he said as he moved his thumbs gently across my cheeks.
All I could get out was, “Okay.”
The ride back went by quickly once Reed had picked up the pace, and we let the horses trot back the whole way. By the time we got back to the stables, I was exhausted from the whole evening. I leaned against Tink as Reed took care of the saddles and the horses. The dancing, the laughing, the lovemaking, the crying while telling Reed about Noah—all of it just hit me at once. I moved to a hay bale and drifted off to sleep.