"I guess," I said. Griffin hugged me tightly.
"I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered against my ear. "Just believe me when I say I love you." He kissed my temple and was wiping his cheeks when he stepped away from me.
"It's not worth crying over," I said, handing him a napkin.
"Sweetheart, you have no idea what you're worth," he said. Amara came over and hugged me, too. I know she wanted me to call her Mom. I just couldn't. Maybe someday but not that day, and she hadn't done anything to deserve otherwise. I was going to have to get comfortable with the idea, first.
"Cookies!" My nieces appeared, bringing Flavio, Dalroy and Rhett with them. I was worried we'd have to make more.
"This is the first time I ever got to eat anything Lissa cooked," Wlodek was very happy with the oatmeal cookies.
"You, maybe," I said. "Merrill there was drinking coffee and eating barbecue at least once a week the whole time I stayed with him." I wanted to call Merrill names. Tell him how awful he was. I couldn't. Kiarra was right there, and everybody else was watching. The vampire mask slid into place.
"You knew that?" Merrill looked shocked.
"You came in smelling like barbecue or some other thing all the time," I said, hugging myself and turning away. "I knew you weren't just vampire the first time I met you. Those sunglasses in the Range Rover weren't Franklin's either. You think I'd let that cat out of the bag and risk my life doing it? Jerk," I muttered.
"Lissa, we treated you like a baby vampire and that was perhaps our greatest failing," Wlodek admitted.
"Yeah, well, you can't undo it now," I mumbled, deliberately refusing to look at him.
"Go forward with us, instead," Adam offered. He and I had never really talked, but he was there in front of me suddenly, lifting my chin with his fingers. "Leave the past in the past, pretty girl. There's a world of light in front of you now; all you have to do is walk in it."
"I'm not sure I can," the tears dripped down my cheeks.
"Let it go," Adam whispered. Connegar was beside me, suddenly.
"You will try, won't you, little rose?" Connegar lifted me in a warm embrace and never said a word when I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed.
* * *
"Mother, Lissa needed to get away for a while." Connegar set me down at yet another large, granite island—the one in Conner's kitchen. Conner was there having a late dinner with Russell, Will and Martin. Franklin, his mates Shane and Tomas were also there.
"Hi, honey," I walked over to give Franklin a hug as soon as Connegar let me go. "Hi, other honey," I gave Shane a hug, too. "Third honey," I hugged Tomas.
"Lissa, why have you been crying?" Franklin pulled me against him and wiped my cheeks gently with a thumb.
"Long story," I sniffled, wiping my own cheeks. "Do I look like shit, now?"
"No, sweetheart," Franklin pulled me against him. "You need to come over and see us more often," he scolded gently.
"I would not object if I were notified more often of the Queen's movements. I have attempted to see her many times," Erland Morphis folded in. I stared—I know I did. I'd seen him once before, in the arboretum above the High Demon's palace.
"He's mated to some of ours," Frank said softly. "That's how he found out you were with us."
"Do you remember meeting me?" I asked Erland, leaning against Franklin and putting my head on his shoulder. Yeah, I missed Franklin. A lot.
"When did we meet?" He didn't remember. Well, Kifirin had taken me to the future, so this Erland had no recollection of meeting me.
"Forty years in the future," I sighed. "Kifirin took me to Veshtul. We met in the palace arboretum. You told me you were a Karathian Warlock, and never cast dark spells."
"Fascinating. Did I also inform you that you are one of two women I would like to have in my bed?"
"Uh, no. And that's not embarrassing or anything. I thought you were attracted to males."
"I am currently attracted to males, but I would beg if it would get me into your bed."
"Uh-huh," I said, snuggling against Franklin. Maybe this conversation didn't embarrass Erland Morphis, but it sure as hell embarrassed me.
"See, I am forever to be rebuffed by the two females I would enjoy making love with," Erland declared, tossing up a hand. It made me wonder who the other woman was—after all, he was the second most beautiful male I'd ever seen.
"And the other is?" I asked, mildly curious.
"Glindarok. Only she treats me exactly the same," Erland grumbled. "My Lissa thinks I am the second most beautiful man she knows. My Glinda thinks I am the most beautiful." Well, he'd just plucked the thoughts right from my head. The schmuck.
"She hasn't met Kifirin, has she?" I asked. She couldn't think Erland was more beautiful than that.
"Avilepha, did you call my name?" The most beautiful man I'd ever met showed up right then, as if he were listening for his name to be called. Nexus Echo. I couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing.
"I did mention your name," I admitted. Everybody in Conner's kitchen was now staring at Kifirin with their mouths open. He had an angel's face. I always thought that, anyway.
"M'hala, you are too kind to me," Kifirin smiled.
"I am not, stop fibbing," I pulled away from Franklin and went to swat Kifirin lightly on the arm. "I missed you, you schmuck."
"I live for the day you call me darling or any other endearment," Kifirin sighed.
"Don't count your chickens, honey," I said. Conner snickered.
"I came to take you away for a bit, love. You appear to need a break." Kifirin reached out and touched my face gently. It was probably still blotchy from crying. At least the guys were all too polite to mention it.
"Where are we going?" I asked, wishing I had a mirror.
"You look beautiful," Kifirin informed me. "And I was going to take you to see Roff and Giff."
"Really?" I wanted to jump up and down with happiness. "They're still alive?" I missed Roff. Loved Roff. Really wanted to see Roff. And Giff, too.
"Of course. I see I chose the right thing," Kifirin flashed his perfect smile. "Come avilepha, we will go." Connegar nodded and smiled at me when I glanced his way, so Kifirin lifted me up and we were gone.
We were back in the High Demons' palace, only it wasn't in the future. I'm not sure how I knew that, I just did. Kifirin set me down, took my hand, kissed it lightly and then led me down a wide hall tiled in the beautiful marble I'd seen before. The occasional sculpture lined this hall depicting High Demons, both humanoid and in their Thifilathi. That wasn't scary or anything. Those Thifilathi sculptures were life-sized and around sixteen to eighteen feet tall, which meant the hall itself was much taller than that. We stopped at a door carved in ornate patterns and inlaid with gold, silver and semiprecious stones. The knob was also a carved oval in gold. Kifirin knocked out of politeness and then blew the door inward with Power.