“Abe?”
My heart skips a beat. “You know about Abe?”
“I’ve never met a Shadow before,” he says. “But I could see exactly what he was the day he came up to you in front of Marceline’s, see the darkness surrounding him. Most Shadows hide from Seers, but he wanted me to know what he was.”
Despite what I’ve learned, there’s a part of me that is still crushed about Abe. “He was my friend,” I say quietly. “I thought he was.”
“Shadows can make you believe almost anything.”
“So what do I do now?” I ask. “How do I see Abe, knowing what he is?”
“You don’t. You stay far away from him. He’s dangerous.”
I agree, but avoiding Abe is going to be harder than Harlin thinks. I know his persistence. Closing my eyes, I force the thought away. Right now, I want at least a second of normal. So when Harlin wraps his arm around me, I lean into him.
We watch The Daily Show, and soon Harlin’s breathing is deep and I think that he may be asleep. When the show ends, I yawn, and Harlin stirs.
“I’m sorry,” I say, lifting my head.
“Don’t be,” he answers, and rubs his eyes. “Can’t believe I would sleep through snuggling. Maybe I have a concussion.”
“I would accept that as a valid excuse.”
“Here,” Harlin says, opening his arms. “Let’s try it again.” I hesitate before leaning against his chest, my entire body relaxing the minute I do.
Harlin’s hand touches my hair, his fingers running down the length of it past my shoulder. “I can’t believe I found you,” he murmurs. “I’ve needed you so much.” The emotion in his voice brings tears to my eyes. I wonder what Harlin’s been through, and how much he’s lost.
“You have me now,” I say. Harlin sighs, holding me close. When he starts to drift off again, I sit up. “I should go to bed,” I say. “Oh, here.” I grab the blankets. “These are for you.”
Harlin takes them and stretches out on the couch, extending his arms over his head as he groans, showing off a small sliver of skin between his shorts and his T-shirt. I help cover him with a sheet, since he has limited use of his arm, and when I’m standing over him, he turns his face toward me with the most sinfully innocent expression I’ve ever seen.
“A kiss good night?” he asks, barely above a whisper.
I nearly swoon with the thought of it, with the temptation of it, but then Harlin turns his cheek, touching a spot just above his beard. My heart thuds as I lean down, and in the second before I touch him, he closes his eyes.
I press my lips to his cheek, his skin warm—hot, even. I run my finger gently over the bruise under his eye and then kiss him there, too. He lets me do this all without ever touching me, ever speaking. And when I straighten up, Harlin’s eyes open, glassy with tears.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” he murmurs.
I process his words, not sure if I can promise that after what Marceline told me. “I never want to leave you,” I say, and go to my room, turning off the light on the way.
There’s a rumble of thunder outside, and the world around my bedroom shifts and fades. When the new scene comes into focus, I’m on the high-rise rooftop again, wind whipping my hair painfully across my face as the city lights dot the streets below. There’s another clap of thunder, making me start, and then the rain pours around me. The fat drops soak my hair and pajamas as I search for a way down.
The metal door in the corner of the building bursts open, banging into the wall behind it as a man walks out. He’s tall, with dark hair and black pants, and I recognize him as the one who turned Onika into a Shadow. The rain doesn’t touch him. He crosses the roofline to stand at the edge, staring out over the city.
The door opens again and Onika stalks through this time. She’s beautiful, her straight blond hair flowing over her black jacket as her boots click on the cement floor. Her posture is menacing, and I feel myself shrink back even though I’m sure she can’t see me.
“I’ve been looking for you, Rodney,” she calls. “I believe we have unfinished business.”
The guy laughs, turning to her. He meets her before she can reach him and puts his hand on her cheek, almost mockingly. “I can’t change your outcome, my beauty, if that’s what you’re here for again.”
The expression on Onika’s face is absolute agony. But soon it turns to something else. I watch her skin start to change, cracking and graying, ripping open. She growls under her breath, less like an animal and more like a demon.
“You lied to me!” Onika snarls. “You ruined my chance at happiness.”
“Don’t be a fool,” he says. “What were you going to do instead, burst into light?”
“I wouldn’t be a monster!” She holds up her arm and pushes back the sleeve of her jacket, her exposed skin sickly in the rooftop lights. She digs her nails into the gray flesh there, pulling it away. But there is only more gray underneath. “Rotted straight through,” she tells him. “I’d rather be dead.”
Rodney starts to laugh, but Onika pushes him hard, making him stumble back. His expression falters, as if he’s surprised by how strong she is. Onika begins to slowly circle him.
“I’ve searched the world for an end,” she says, narrowing her eyes as she crosses behind Rodney. “But as the saying goes, there is no easy way out.”
Rodney whips his head around, trying to keep his focus on Onika as she continues to circle, stalking him like prey.
“But you know what I discovered?” Onika asks, her eyes wild. “That I am not only a Shadow. I am pure misery. Pure hopelessness.” She chuckles then, a sad, sick laugh. “I cannot be destroyed by anything on this earth, not even if I wish it. How did I get like this?” she asks him. “How did I let you trick me into losing every shred of my humanity?”
Rodney doesn’t answer, his fear rendering him silent. His smooth skin begins to crack, turning gray and rotten.
Onika continues on. “Was it when my mother sold me to the men in my Russian town? Perhaps it was later, when the man I loved told me I was going to disappear forever. Or maybe, lover,” she whispers, “it was when you forced yourself on me, tempted me with your words until I didn’t know better.”
Onika comes to stand directly in front of him, her boots making a final clack on the concrete. “I’m capable of so much now. The Shadows pulse through me relentlessly, tearing me apart and then filling me up. I am tortured, darling. But”—she pauses—“there is one silver lining to my existence.”