“Eventually. But you’re still very new, and you seem to handle the Needs better. Maybe it’s because you’ve done it before; maybe not. Either way, these things take time.”
I sway with grief, but then something she said the first time we met occurs to me.
“Shadows,” I say. “You told me once to watch out for them. But I don’t know what a Shadow is.” The mint has worked to calm me, not creating the same confusing sensation as last time. Now it’s more like a warm blanket has been wrapped around me. I lean back into the sofa cushion and Marceline begins rocking again.
“The Shadows were like you once,” she begins quietly. “They had the Need, gave people hope. They found them at just the right time, and said just the right thing. But instead of filling their destinies, they turned away from the light, binding themselves to Earth for selfish wants. And when you turn away from the light, all that’s left are the Shadows. Those Forgotten didn’t find the freedom they’d hoped for. Their existence is dark and cold. Lonely. They are compelled once again, but this time, it’s with Want—the overwhelming desire to find someone and change their lives for the worse. They fulfill their Wants to stay powerful. If they don’t, they’ll wither, but never die. Being a Shadow is a fate far worse than death.”
Suddenly my memories and hazy dreams click together. “There’s a woman,” I say. “I’ve seen her life. She . . .” It takes me a minute to recall, but when I do, I’m terrified. “She became a Shadow,” I say. “I saw her become a Shadow.”
Marceline straightens, and I think she knows exactly who I’m talking about. “Yes,” she says. “Onika is like you in a way. Different from the rest of her kind. Stronger. That poor child is filled with hate and horror. She’s the embodiment of misery.”
“I’m having memories—of who I used to be, I guess. Does—”
“Oh, you’re still Charlotte,” Marceline interrupts. “The soul is the same, just a different body. But see, you’ve learned things, child. Things other Forgotten won’t know until they cross. This will help you. This knowledge is what makes you strong.”
“I don’t feel very strong.”
“You’re here,” she offers. “You didn’t run to the doctors, who could never understand. Or run to your father, who is a wonderful man, I must say. You came to me on your own, and that is brave. Do you know what you’re capable of now?”
“No.”
“Control. You can control the light you spread. The visions. I saw it inside you that day in the parking lot. Child, you’re just as powerful as the Shadows, maybe more so. I ask you to think—think of your soul. Do you know why you’re here?”
“No,” I murmur.
She nods, looking slightly disappointed. “Well, whatever the reason, your beauty is astounding. It’s why the Shadows want you. They crave the light. And although most only want to tempt it away—are in fact compelled to—some want to keep it for themselves. Like Abraham.”
At the mention of Abe’s name my muscles tense, a sinking sensation in my gut. “He’s a Shadow?”
She nods. “Oh, yes. He used to be my Forgotten, but I couldn’t save him.” Her expression softens as if I’ve struck a deep sorrow within her. She takes another piece of mint, and I wish I could help her somehow.
Suddenly, there’s a tingling in my fingers. I blink quickly and look down at them. As the sensation spreads up my arm, I know it’s the Need. And that I’ve willed it to start.
“Marceline,” I say cautiously. Light begins to brighten behind her form, blotting out the small cluttered room beyond us. When she hears me, she straightens, but doesn’t look pleased. Then I’m filled with ninety years of her memories.
She’s a child on the streets of New York City, poor, but not unhappy. Her mother is clairvoyant and makes a living as a fortune-teller. Marceline’s father died, along with her brother and two sisters. It’s just her and her mother now. And from her mother she learns how to control her abilities. The memories go on; Marceline watches me curiously as she relives them all. She thinks then that she’s never realized how old she really is. And I smile, sharing her thoughts.
But before we get even halfway through her life, my sight begins to change—speeding past all of her memories to now. I meet her eyes with an alarmed stare.
“Marceline,” I say, a strong voice inside my head with a warning. “You’re—
“I’m old,” she interrupts me. “Don’t you go worrying about my mortality. I’m tougher than I look.” Marceline leans forward, a soft smile on her lips. “When it’s truly my time, you can’t help me. Not even with the Need. Now get out of my head.” And then it’s gone, the light, the visions. Marceline’s rocker stills, the light filtering in the window illuminating dust in the air, dust that doesn’t move. I sway back into the sofa as a memory pours inside my mind.
Harlin is in front of me, smiling confidently. “Where were you running to, Miss Cassidy?” he asks in a low, raspy voice.
I step up to him, looking deeply into his eyes. Thinking he’s the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. “Here.”
His smile falters just a bit, overcome with something else. And then as if he can’t help himself, he puts his palm on my cheek and pulls me into a kiss.
“Harlin,” I whisper, his name on my lips as I come back to the moment. He did love Charlotte. Me. The thought is both painful and comforting at the same time.
Marceline is now standing by the window, staring out toward the street. “You still have so much to learn, and not nearly enough time.” She sounds regretful.
I go to stand by her, struck with how odd it is that we’re together now, so soon after she attacked me in a parking lot. Now I can see her for exactly what she is, an old woman—brave and smart. I put my arms around her fragile frame and hug her.
“I’ll be fine,” she says, patting my arm. “And don’t start thinking you’re all alone. You have your sister and your father. And of course there’s Harlin.”
“Harlin won’t even talk to me,” I say.
She chuckles at this. “I’m psychic, child. I’ve told you he’ll be back. But there is something bigger at stake here. The universe is supposed to be balanced, both with good and evil. Onika is destroying that balance, corrupting things that were never meant to be corrupted. You need to stop her, for all of our sakes.”