“You’re not completely off the hook,” I said, taking a bite. “I will expect ice cream afterward.” Being with Joel was so easy. He made me feel lighter, simpler. I didn’t have to act or put on a brave face. I didn’t have to do anything but just be me.
“Ice cream? How long of a date do you think this will be?” He grinned, and I felt a surge of attraction for him. He was flawed and perfect at the same time. “By the way,” he asked, picking up his slice, “what happened to your phone?”
My breath caught. I had no reason to lie, and yet I didn’t like how this would sound. I lowered my eyes. “I, um. I forgot it in Aiden’s car.”
Silence.
When I finally looked up, Joel was chewing, seemingly unfazed by my comment. He took a sip of soda.
“He gave me a ride home. It was nothing.” Somehow my lackluster explanation made me sound guiltier.
“Didn’t know he was in town last night.” He took another bite, his eyes studying the side of his red cup.
“He’s been around since everything happened with the football team. He was sort of looking out for me. I mean us.” Gosh, I was really bad at this.
“Ah, of course, he was. I’ve seen him at school this week, too. Don’t think he likes me very much.” He smiled, looking up to meet my eyes. His hazel stare was calm, collected.
“No. No, I don’t think he does.” Hm … I didn’t know that Aiden had been at school. It seemed odd that he’d been missing so much course work lately. I wondered if everything was all right at college.
“Team seemed happy to see him though. The great legend coming back to grace us with his presence.”
Joel started to look slightly annoyed, and I set my pizza back down on my white, paper plate. “Hey. I’m really sorry. I know things have gotten pretty skewed since Blaze outed SOS. I hope they haven’t been giving you a hard time.”
“What? Like shoulder bumping me into the locker because I’m still hanging out with you? Psht. It’s nothing.”
I winced. “I’m so, so sorry.”
He shrugged. “Just between us, I’ll pick the cute cheerleader over the dickhead jock any day.” He paused. “Speaking of, did you want to talk about your secret-agent double life? I have to admit, I’m mildly curious.”
To be honest, I didn’t entirely feel like discussing it, but I knew it might be difficult for Joel to understand. “If you feel like you need to talk about it.”
His hazel eyes flicked up to mine. “I think I do.”
I nodded. To the average viewer, we probably didn’t make sense. But this was my chance to explain how great an organization we were. “Basically the Smitten Kittens run a secret society that investigates cheating boyfriends.”
“Wow. Interesting concept.”
“Thanks!” See! He totally got it.
“Unethical, too.”
Oh. Maybe not. “We were doing it for the right reasons, Joel. We were trying to help those unlucky in love. The wronged. The—”
“Yeah, but how exactly did you investigate?” He pulled his eyebrows together as if he couldn’t wrap his brain around it. I had a feeling that our tactics were the parts that the guys didn’t appreciate. But at least, we got proof and never falsely accused! Shouldn’t that count for something?
“What are you thinking about over there, Tiny Crimson? Your nose is all scrunched up and you look worried.”
“I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
He laughed and reached across the table to take my hand. I sort of wanted to pull away, but not because I didn’t like him. Because my hands were greasy from the pizza. It felt sort of gross.
“If I didn’t get angry about the fact that you’re losing things in your ex-boyfriend’s car, I won’t get angry about this.” But the fact that he’d brought it up told me that he was a little perturbed by my platonic late-night rendezvous with Aiden.
“Maybe we should go get that ice cream now,” I said, ready to get up.
“Tess, I just want to understand.”
I took a deep breath, afraid of his reaction. “Fine. We would break into people’s bedrooms, hack their computers, bug their phones.”
Joel stared at me calmly. I was so relieved! “I’m so glad you’re not freaking out.”
His eyes widened. “Wait. You weren’t joking just then? Holy shit, Tessa. Did you really do that stuff?”
Oops. “I did. We did.”
“Kira, too?”
I glanced down when he said her name. Why was he asking about Kira? Why did that make me a little jealous? “Yes.”
“This is pretty intense.”
“Sorry.”
Joel let go of my hand and brought his hands together as he rested his elbows on the table. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe how long you got away with it. I mean, I heard you were spying, but I didn’t … I didn’t actually think you were spying. Maybe driving by someone’s house to see whose car was there, or normal things like that. But this … This is f**ked up, Tess. Maybe it was a good thing you got busted. Because now it’s done.” He stopped and looked sharply at me. “It is done, right?”
His jaw was tight, but at the same time, he seemed less agitated than I thought he would be. I mean, Aiden sort of flipped when he’d found out. He kicked me out of his house and made me walk home! Then again, I had been spying on him.
“Not really.” I took a bite of my pizza with pineapple.
“What?”
I paused in my chewing. “What?”
“You said, ‘Not really.’ Do you mean you’re still spying?”
“Oh. Um … no. It’s just …” Frick and Frack! Where do I go from here?
“It’s a simple question, Tessa. Does SOS still exist or not?”
I knew I’d regret this. “Not.”
Joel watched me for a second, and I finished my bite and swallowed it self-consciously. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to ruin the night either. Things had already gotten murky when I brought up Aiden.
“I don’t want to sound creepy and possessive right now,” he said slowly. “But I really don’t want you spying anymore.”
“I understand.” I took a sip from my soda and thought about that. To be honest, I didn’t understand. SOS stood for truth, justice, and the Smitten Kitten way. What could be so bad about that? I mean, sure, we were guilty of breaking and entering, but weren’t they guilty of cheating? That was way worse!