“Sydney!” The boy called again. Apparently he thought that she hadn’t heard him.
She turned and smiled tolerantly at him. The kids were loud, rambunctious and sometimes annoying, but it wasn’t their fault. They had no guidance. Their parents left them home alone all day and they got bored. The three of them usually ran like wild little Indians through the neighborhood. This oldest boy couldn’t be more than nine or ten. His pale blonde hair hadn’t been combed today and he had peanut butter smeared on the corner of his mouth.
“How’s the water?” she asked him with a smile, as she inhaled the scent of the fat droplets sizzling on the sidewalk. “It’s so hot that I might join you when I get back.”
His two little sisters stopped jumping rope in the spray of the sprinkler and stared at her with wide, hopeful eyes.
“Sweet!” he nodded, clearly pleased by the idea that she might play with them. Whatever it was that he had been planning to say had been forgotten with the promise of a potential new friend to play with. She could feel them staring as she continued down the sidewalk. She was pretty sure that they were wondering if she really would come back to play with them.
She felt a pang of empathy for their situation. It was really pretty sad. They were so hungry for attention that they would take it from whoever would offer it. She hoped that no one ever took advantage of that. Child molesters and other weirdos seemed to have a built-in radar for the kids who were vulnerable. For the ones that would say Yes.
As she walked and thought, she absorbed her surroundings like a sponge, enjoying the shade from the trees lining the sidewalk. This neighborhood was such an alien-planet to her that she never failed to find something interesting every time she went out.
Her experience so far had been that most of the people populating this run-down little place never got out. Stephen was only here because the rent was cheap. His parents were from the North side of town. Not Highland Park, like her own, but a nice, suburban area nonetheless. She had no doubt that he was going to sell a novel and then leave here. Because any smart person would.
She was suddenly startled out of her reverie as her cell phone buzzed to alert her to a text message. It was her only luxury. She waited tables at the Sunshine Café on the corner to pay for it and even though she was prudent with it now, it took a large chunk of her tip money. She had even downgraded from her Smartphone with the unlimited data plan and it was still an expensive extravagance.
She now paid for each individual text that she sent from her no-nonsense, basic little cell phone, which was a big change. She used to rattle off texts a mile a minute, choosing to text rather than talk half of the time. She definitely didn’t do that now…they were a dime apiece.
It buzzed again and she pulled it out to read the ten cent message. Apprehension flooded through her when she saw the name. Christian Price.
“What R U doing?”
She stared at the words. Why did he care? Why now? He hadn’t visited her since she had moved out of her parents’ house. And he knew where she was- she had texted him to let him know so that he wouldn’t worry. She had received no answer, so she had to assume that he didn’t care.
None of her former so-called friends had contacted her either, which was actually for the best. She didn’t have the patience to endure their chirpy, fake platitudes and empty babbling gossip, not now that her life had been changed in such a real way. It had all been very eye-opening. She could clearly see now how fake her prior relationships had all been. She quickly decided to ignore the text. She wasn’t going to waste a dime on Christian.
She had no sooner stuck her phone back into her pocket when it rang loudly, vibrating against her leg. Apparently he didn’t want to wait for her to answer. God- she hoped he wasn’t parked outside of Stephen’s house or something.
She gritted her teeth and answered.
“Hi, Christian.”
“Hey, Syd.” The voice was familiar, but the tone was not one that she had ever heard from him. It was one of resigned, coarse necessity. A vast departure from the sexy charm that he used to use with her.
“I’m calling to see if you need anything.” He was quiet and matter-of-fact.
She briefly wondered who he was dating now. The question flitted through her mind before she could stop it, but she would die before she asked him. It wasn’t that important to her because he wasn’t important to her anymore. It was just idle curiosity, but it rubbed her the wrong way because he was still free to have a life.
“Christian,” she mused idly, “Isn’t it odd how two people can be involved in the same exact act, but only one- the girl- has to pay the consequences?” She wasn’t trying to be snotty, but the injustice of it all astounded her sometimes. The universe certainly wasn’t an equal opportunity employer.
He sighed. “I don’t want to hear it, Sydney. This is what you chose. Everyone told you to get rid of it, but you wouldn’t. You made your bed.” While he wasn’t kind, he wasn’t unkind, either, just brusquely matter-of-fact. And Sydney could hear his parents in every word he said.
“But it wasn’t really a choice, was it? Deciding to kill something isn’t really something that you can choose. Or at least, I couldn’t. And I’m the one that would have had to live with it every day of my life. Not you.”
“Whatever, Sydney. No one held a gun to your head. Do you need anything?”
The agitated sound of his voice filled her with piercing regret. A girl only lost her virginity one time and every girl usually remembered that one boy with perfect clarity- the way he smiled in the dark or stroked her hand or the particular brand of cologne that he wore. And she would remember all of those things.
But in addition to all of those normal things, Sydney was going to have a living reminder of Christian for the rest of her life. And she knew that the only thing he saw when he thought of her was a big, fat, binding obligation. It made her sick. She tightened her grip on the phone.
“I’m fine. I don’t need anything from you. I’ve already told you that.” Her voice was snippier than she meant for it to be.
“I know. But I told you that I would help so that’s what I’m trying to do. Do you need diapers or anything?”
“Christian, it’s not even born yet! Why would I need diapers?” She was incredulous. Could he seriously be that clueless?