“I’ll make you something.”
She nodded as he moved away from the door with the ease of someone that was intrinsically aware of every muscle and cell within their body. He opened and closed cabinets as he retrieved supplies and she settled at the table. “Braith?”
“Hmm,” he murmured as he used the knife to slice bread with startling speed.
“Will I, uh, be able to eat human food again if I become a vampire?”
He stopped slicing and stared at the cabinets for a moment before glancing at her over his shoulder. His eyes flickered; something feral, dark, and hungry crossed his face before he shook it away. “You can, it’s not the same, but I’ve eaten it before. I don’t find it appealing but it might be different for you, you have a taste for it; I never did.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrows drew together as he continued to watch her. “The blood, I’m not so sure about that. I don’t know if I can do that to someone. I know you’ve been drinking the blood that humans willingly provide, but…” She shuddered as she really thought about the one aspect of this whole thing she had been trying not to think about.
Braith turned away, she watched as the muscles in his back and shoulders rippled with the deft slices of the knife. He finished cutting the loaf and carried a plate of bread and fruit over to her. Sitting before her, he leaned forward, his hands clasped as his eyes blazed into hers.
“You have consumed my blood.”
She fiddled with a piece of bread. “That’s because it’s you. But another’s blood, a stranger’s blood, is an entirely different matter.” Her nose wrinkled at the thought, revulsion twisted within her. “And after your father’s blood.” He stiffened at the reminder as a slight snarl curved his lip. “It was awful Braith; I could never describe just how awful it was.”
“I know.”
She leaned closer to him, enjoying the smell of spices and earth that radiated from his body. “Is it that awful for you now, with others? Is that why you don’t like drinking other people’s blood anymore?”
“I don’t think it’s quite as revolting to me. The blood isn’t forced upon me as my father’s was forced upon you, and its blood, it’s always been my staple. I don’t enjoy another’s blood the way that I enjoy yours. It doesn’t fill me in the same way, it’s not as empowering, and it’s nowhere near as pleasant tasting, not anymore.” He shook his head as he leaned back. He was trying to appear casual but the tension in his shoulders and chest didn’t ease. “I don’t like touching them either. It’s not their fault, but the idea of it has become offensive to me. Ashby doesn’t enjoy it either, though he seems more willing than I am when it’s necessary.”
“What will happen if I’m gone?”
“Don’t say that,” he growled.
She opened her mouth to argue, to push it further. She hoped he would move on if she was gone, that he would find someone else even though the idea of it made her want to vomit, but she bit back her words. Rehashing these worries and concern’s wasn’t going to achieve anything except upsetting them both. She forced herself to eat a slice of bread. He wasn’t looking at her anymore; his gaze was focused on the windows behind her. “You don’t have to drink anyone else’s blood afterward though, I can provide for you.”
She froze with a piece of bread halfway to her mouth. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him in confusion. “What?”
His gaze came back to her. “I can provide for you. My blood will be more than enough to sustain you. I will have to consume more, but it won’t be necessary for you to go to another.”
Relief flowed through her. “That’s possible?”
“It is.” His hands seized hold of hers.
“But what about you? Won’t it be draining on you?”
“Not if I stay well supplied.”
“You just said that you dislike the other blood Braith. I know that you’re not feeding as well as you should, you can’t hide it from me. If you lose my blood on top of that…”
“But I won’t be losing your blood.” He brushed the hair back from her neck, his eyes latched onto his fresh marks upon her skin. “I will still have yours, though it won’t be enough to completely sate me, I won’t lose it.”
She swallowed heavily and took a large gulp of juice in order to wet her suddenly parched throat. A few months ago such a proposition would have been revolting. For a reasonable, sane human being it still would be, but he’d helped to make her anything but reasonable and sane. She couldn’t take her gaze from his neck, the muscles that corded it, the tautness of his smooth skin.
“Will you…” she had to take a breath before she asked the question. “Will you feed from other women?”
She couldn’t look at him; she couldn’t breathe as she awaited his answer. She knew it was necessary for him to survive, and possibly her too, but damn if the thought didn’t almost break her. He grasped hold of her cheeks as he turned her face to him, forcing her to look at him as he tilted his head to peer up at her.
“No. I would never turn to a real person again unless it becomes absolutely necessary in order to survive, and even then I would hate it. I don’t mind the other blood as much as long as I don’t have to touch the person. I will use the donor program, and you can feed solely from me if you decide to do this.”
“Yes,” she breathed, relieved and strangely titillated by the thought of such a proposition. “Would I be normal after?”
“What do you mean?”
“What will I be like after? Will I still be me or will I be a little wild? Will I lose control and try and kill someone, or start trying to feed off of everyone?”
He tilted his chair on its front legs towards her. “You think you’ll be a monster.”
“Yes,” she croaked out, horrified by the possibility.
“No. You will be you Aria. I’m sure it will take some time to get used to certain things, but you will be able to control the hunger, and you will not become a bloodthirsty lunatic.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle as she shook her head. “I didn’t think I’d be a lunatic but how can you be so sure?”
The chair clicked against the floor as he leaned back again. “Because we can all control what we do, and because Xavier has assured me that the others he knows of, did not lose their minds. They did not go off their rockers, and were in fact as normal as any other vampire born of a human.”