He’d suspected they were plotting something, he’d even suspected that it might have been something like this, but it did nothing to ease the acid he felt churning through his stomach. Nothing to ease the sense of betrayal he felt building through him. “I never meant to upset you Braith.”
“And leaving me again wouldn’t upset me?” he grated through clenched teeth.
She looked as if he’d slapped her as she recoiled from him. “It’s not what I wanted to do,” she whispered.
He released her hand and rose abruptly. His muscles trembled as he struggled against the urge to lift the bench on the other side and smash it into the ground. He fought for control, grappled to keep himself together in order to keep his half promise to her. “Jesus Aria.”
“I’m sorry, I truly am. But no matter how much I love you, and believe me I do love you more than I ever thought possible, my happiness, our happiness is not as important as the thousands upon thousands of lives that depend on you. Because of that I was willing to forfeit my happiness, my life…” She broke off abruptly, wincing as she seemed to realize she’d said too much.
“Your what!?” he barked. “Jack was going to… No, not Jack. Jack wouldn’t have the heart and neither would Ashby. Gideon,” he stated with dawning realization.
She wouldn’t look at him; her gaze was focused on something else within the garden. “They didn’t know. Jack and Ashby didn’t know, and Gideon, well I went to Gideon, he didn’t come to me.”
He wanted to scream at her, to shout and bellow and tear the garden apart. He had the urge to shake her until he rattled some sense into that thick skull of hers, but even as all of those urges slammed through him, he also felt a deflating of his spirit. He’d driven her to this; he’d driven them all to this. He’d been so determined to believe that he could walk away, that he wouldn’t be necessary here, and that he could bend the world and everyone in it to his will. He hadn’t stopped to think of anyone other than himself, and her. He’d only aspired to keep her safe and protected, he’d been insistent that he would leave with her as soon as the war was over, but by doing so he’d pushed her and the others into trying to find a way to make him stay.
He didn’t doubt for a minute that she would have sacrificed herself in order to make him lead. He ran his hands through his hair as he dropped onto the bench beside her.
“You’re angry with me,” she whispered.
“I am. I’m also angry with myself.”
“Just know that it was never what I wanted. I always wanted you. My heart.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “Would always have been yours, no matter how far I went, or how long we were apart.”
His head bowed, he folded his hands before him as he listened to the reassuring beat of her heart. “My blood is inside you Aria, Jack knows that means I can track you anywhere.”
“We were hoping that if it was diluted, if someone else’s blood…” He was unable to stop the low groan of anguish that escaped him at that thought. It was a stab to his heart that his father had done such a thing to her. He could no longer taste his father’s blood in her, but if he’d still been alive he would have been able to find her anywhere she went. “Perhaps it would lessen your ability to track me.”
“And if not, Gideon was the backup plan,” he growled.
She managed a small nod as her lower lip began to quiver. “Yes.”
“Aria,” he moaned as regret filled him. Pulling her against him he pressed a firm kiss against her forehead. “I would have found you, you know, diluted blood or not I would have found you. I’ll always find you.”
“I know.” Her fingers curled into his shirt as she pressed her face against his neck. “I think I always knew.”
“Gideon became your entire plan at one point.”
“Yes.”
“You should have come to me,” he broke off as he shook his head. “You couldn’t, I wouldn’t listen. Why did you change your mind? Why have you decided to tell me this?”
She pulled slightly away. “Because I couldn’t be that person anymore. I simply couldn’t leave you like that for a second time. I was trying to do what I felt was right by leaving now, but it was never going to be right, not in the end. It would have destroyed us; even if you found me things never would have been the same. No matter what, you would have brought me back here, and you would have resented me for the rest of my life for betraying you, even if you could have forgiven me. You’ve also come to realize we’re not the most important thing, not anymore. While I was in that dungeon I knew that you’d become the king.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The stubborn, determined, unwilling to bend Braith I knew would have stormed through those gates with no thought to reason and logic…”
“I came as soon as I could.”
She smiled as she rested her forehead against his; her fingers were as delicate as a butterfly’s wing against his face. “I know you did. But you restrained yourself, and you put the greater good ahead of me, and you.”
“I would give my life for yours Aria, never doubt that.”
She tilted her head to study him. “I know that, but you’re a king Braith, so many depend upon you, and I’m…”
“A queen if you agree to be.”
She closed her eyes, her hands stilled on his face. “I know they won’t accept me as a human.”
“They have agreed to.” Her eyes flew open as she leaned back. “They will accept you as a leader, as a human, and as a queen. They will recognize you.”
“Because of Caleb.”
“You may not want it for that reason, but you gained their respect for it, their admiration. I think they would have eventually agreed even if you hadn’t helped to take down Caleb. They are beginning to realize that if things are to be equal this is one of the things that will have to change. They accepted and respected human leaders in The Barrens, they’ll accept them here as well. You make me stronger Aria, and it will help gain the support of the humans if you are by my side. They will recognize you as my queen.”
“You had a meeting about this?”
“Yes.”
“And if we have children?”
His hand fell instinctively to her belly. “I will love our children no matter what, human or vampire. I never thought I’d say those words, never even thought I’d care for any progeny I had, but I will love our children as much as I love you.”