Turning from the window, he kicked his sneakers off. She slipped further over as he climbed onto the bed beside her. Her eyes were wide as he laid back, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her gently down. She curled up like a sweet kitten against his side, nuzzling him gently as her hand rested lightly upon his chest. He grasped hold of her hand, keeping it away from the empty hollowness of where his heart should beat.
Devon remained stiff, unable to relax due to the fire burning through him. He stared unseeingly at the pictures flickering across the TV, holding her tight as she eased against his side. Soon, her breathing evened out, her hand relaxed against his. He felt the moment when she fell asleep.
Her trust in him was absolute as she gave herself over to him in her most vulnerable, helpless stage. He nuzzled her hair; his fingers gently stroked the nape of her delicate neck. He did not deserve her trust, for she did not know what he truly was. If she did, she would probably run screaming into the night. The thought terrified him.
It was something that he would have to make sure never happened. He could not lose her, nor could he shatter her innocence by being the one to tell her that the world was truly cold, heartless, and filled with monsters. Though he knew that one day he would have to leave her in order to keep her protected, he could not bring himself to let her go now. Not yet anyway, he would leave soon, return to his post outside at a safe distance from the vast temptation that she was. And one day, no matter how much it might destroy him, he would leave for good.
Maybe he could just tell her…
He instantly squashed the thought. How could he shatter her innocence? How could he destroy the sweetness in her with the knowledge of the true horrors that walked their world? He couldn’t. He could never do that to her. And even if he did, what guarantee did he have that she would stay with him? He was a monster. Why would anyone want to stay with a monster?
His grip on her tightened, self loathing washed through him. He was not strong enough to leave her, and he was too much of a coward to risk losing her. He had done many awful things in his life, but this was by far the worst. He couldn’t let her go, but even he realized that by keeping this from her, he was keeping the biggest part of himself hidden. The caring and trust she gave him was not complete.
It couldn’t be complete without the truth he could never reveal. She would hate him if he did. And that would destroy him.
CHAPTER 15
Cassie woke slowly the next morning; her mind was still groggy from the deep, dreamless sleep that had claimed her. Memories of the night assailed her; she stiffened slightly as she realized that Devon was still beside her, his arm draped over her waist, his body melded against her back. Pleasure swept through her; heat warmed her body, causing her toes to curl against his jeans.
His kiss had been everything she had known it would be. It had filled her entire being, warming and melting places she had long thought frozen and dead. He had healed all of the jagged and torn pieces of her soul; filled the holes with his soothing presence. He made her stronger than she had ever thought she could be, stronger than she had ever imagined being.
He completed her.
He was everything that she needed, and she would willingly die to keep him safe from the evil within their town. His hand tightened upon her waist as she nestled closer to him, needing the strength of his body. “Don’t move.”
The words were groaned in her ear through his teeth. She instantly stopped moving, holding her breath as he stiffened around her. She did not know what was wrong with him, but it had almost sounded as if he were in pain. He moved so suddenly, and swiftly, that she didn’t even have time to blink before he had rolled away from her, and was on his feet.
Cassie gasped in surprise as she sat up, but he had his back turned to her. His gaze was focused upon the window, and the rising sun. His hands were clenched tightly at his sides, the muscles of his forearms bulged with the tension that coursed through him. He seemed to be waging a silent battle, over what she had no idea, but she was disturbed by the tension radiating from him.
“Are you ok?” she asked softly.
He turned his head toward her; his emerald eyes were dark in the early morning light. His hair was tussled from sleep, giving him a boyish appeal that melted her heart. Silhouetted against the morning sun he was the most splendid man she had ever seen. “Fine.”
Some of the stress seemed to be easing out of him; his voice was not as tight. Music suddenly blasted into the room, Cassie jumped in surprise, her heart leapt wildly. It took her a few seconds to pinpoint the source of the racket. Turning swiftly over, she hit the off button on her alarm clock. Dismay filled her as she realized that the world was intruding upon them, crashing down on the blissful peace she had found in his arms throughout the night.
“I need to go.” She turned back to him. He had turned fully around again, his stance wasn’t as rigid, his hands unclenched at his sides. He had taken a step closer to her. “I’ll see you at school.”
She nodded, not knowing what to say. She didn’t want him to leave, didn’t want to be apart from him for even a moment, let alone an hour. He took a deep breath, seeming to brace himself before striding over to her. Bending down, he dropped a soft kiss upon the tip of her nose. Smiling brightly up at him, her hand lightly stroked over his forearm, taking note of the thick, corded muscles that flexed beneath her touch. She marveled at the feel of his skin and the dark hair sprinkled over it. She could have stayed in bed, touching and feeling him all day long.
He hesitated for a moment, and then pulled quickly away. Slipping his sneakers back on, he moved with startling grace, and speed, to the window. Casting a quick glance over his shoulder, he smiled softly at her before disappearing swiftly outside. Cassie gaped for a moment before tossing her blankets aside and springing to her feet. She hurried to the window, surprised to find that he had already disappeared from view.
Frowning, Cassie realized that she had not heard his car start. Had he walked over here last night? The sudden realization hit her that she didn’t even know where he lived. It was more than a little disturbing. She was falling helplessly in love with him, seemingly bound to him in a way that she had never wanted to be bound to anyone, and had never thought possible. Yet, she knew nothing about him. She felt that she knew what kind of man he was, but that was all she knew. Leaning her head against the window, Cassie took a deep breath in order to try and calm the disquieting thoughts racing through her.
Sliding the window shut, she threw the lock and hurried to the bathroom to get ready for the day. She tried not to dwell on her upsetting realization about Devon as she went through her morning ritual. But try as she might, she could not keep the endless questions from running through her mind. Brushing her hair out, she clipped it up to keep it off the nape of her neck.