“No longer exists. I know that.” He dropped the towel on the bench before walking to me. I tilted my head back as he stopped before me. The heat of his body blasted against me; though we weren’t touching I could feel him against me. I was surprised by the startling amount of relief that filled me. He knew, he knew that I wasn’t right, that I was not the same. I didn’t realize, until now, that a part of me had been terrified that he hadn’t realized I was different and was clinging to the dead ghost of the person I had been. That he would stop loving me when he realized the truth. “You are stronger, more capable. I loved that girl Bethany, and I love this one, there is nothing that will ever change that.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. “Then talk to me,” I whispered fervently. “I can take it.”
He took a step closer to me. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching up and resting my hands against his hard chest. His lean muscles rippled beneath my fingers. Though he’d been kept as a prisoner, unlike me, there were no scars marring his chest. I had not seen the rest of him, but I was fairly certain that he didn’t have the ugly marks I had over his legs and waist. His hands clasped hold of my fingers, pressing them flat against his warm skin. I knew there was something that I had come here to talk to him about, but for the life of me I couldn’t recall it at that moment.
His fingers thread through my hair. He caressed my cheeks lightly as he bent to kiss me gently. I sighed softly, joy suffused me. “You’ve been hurt, wounded. You’ve endured things that I can never take away from you, no matter how much I want to. I can keep you a little safer though Bethany, I can keep you from even more hurt. Let me do that, please.” I couldn’t argue with him, not when his lips were brushing over my face, caressing me ever so gently. My heart leapt as it pounded with renewed velocity.
“I just wish you would talk to me, tell me…”
“Later, not now. There is nothing I can tell you that would help. Nothing.”
“Those people,” I whispered.
He sighed softly, his forehead dropped against mine. “We have to keep going forward. There are others that still need help, that we can still help. There may come a time when we can help them, but now is not that time. There is little we can do other than getting ourselves killed. I can’t take the chance of losing you again Bethy, I just can’t.”
I closed my eyes, clinging to his hands as I leaned into him. He smelled wonderful, like sweat and spices. It was a smell I knew well, and had missed so much. A smell that wrapped around me, and enshrouded me in a cocoon of warmth and love. “All we can do is survive and hold onto the dream that one day we’ll be able to help them.”
I nodded, shivering as he dropped soft kisses across my face. “One day we will,” I said forcefully. “One day we’ll help them. Is there any chance that some of them may escape, like you?”
He smiled softly, his eyes bright and clear as his thumbs lightly stroked my face. “There’s always hope.”
I was slightly startled as his words eerily echoed my dream. They left me with an uneasy feeling that even his kiss couldn’t change.
CHAPTER 14
It was unbelievably dark when I awoke. Without power, and not wanting to waste the battery in my flashlight, I had fallen asleep with no source of light in the room. The heavy curtains had been drawn over the large window, blocking out whatever moonlight the night might have had to offer. I blinked, straining to make something out within the dark. I wasn’t used to having my own space, my own room, my own bed. For so long I had been sleeping with a group of people, in one room. I was used to rustling movements, soft snores, and cries from those having nightmares.
I was surprised to find it was terrifying to be alone.
I sat up, trying to keep control of my rising panic. I was also used to having Cade wrapped around me, used to being ensnared within his strong arms, and feeling the reassuring beat of his heart against me. But Cade had volunteered to go on patrol tonight in place of a man who had become ill. I wished that he was here.
I tugged on a pair of jeans and a shirt; there was no way that I was going to get back to sleep in the pitch black room. It was too dark, I was too alone, and I felt the driving need to escape. I slipped my feet into my battered sneakers and headed out the door. The hall was quiet; there was one lamp at the end of it. Its small flame barely lit the dark stairwell. I crept slowly down the stairs, my hand trailing along the railing as I stepped into the main lobby of the small hotel. It was eerily quiet as I made my way to the glass front doors.
I stared out at the night, watching for a long moment, but nothing moved out there. I was torn between wanting to go out there and find Cade, and wanting to run. It had been a long, tiring day and I craved the freedom that the woods gave me. A soft sound caused me to turn away from the door. I reached to the gun at my hip, frowning as I strained to hear anything more within the silent hotel. Though no other sound came, I was certain that I had heard something coming from the ballrooms. I wouldn’t be surprised to find Bishop in the backroom, absorbed in his microscope and fresh samples.
I made my way back there, eager for some company, and perhaps some newfound insights from the doc. There was a flashlight sitting on the counter. Its beam, focused on the back wall, was the only source of illumination in the ballroom. I frowned as I stared at the circle on the back wall. There was no way that Bishop could be working on anything when all that could be seen was that circle. I didn’t see anyone within the room, but they had to be there if the flashlight was on. “Bishop?” I inquired softly.
The room remained strangely silent. I strained to see into it, strained to make out anything within the shadows of the room. And then, something moved.
I watched in confusion as a person shifted within the shadows, their movements stirred the night around them, but they did not emerge completely. A chill shivered down my spine, causing the hair on the nape of my neck to stand up. I didn’t know who was in that room, but I suddenly didn’t like any of this. I knew it wasn’t Bishop, he would have come forth. I took a small step back, my hand wrapped around the butt of my gun.
They moved slowly, their slender body barely visible in the gloom. The shadows seemed to hug them, caressing them as they came toward me. There was such an easy grace to them, such a natural ability to blend in with the shadows that I was struck by the strange familiarity of them. They reminded me of someone. “Cade?” I whispered.
But even as I said the name, I knew that it wasn’t him either. He wouldn’t have remained hidden. He would have come to me instantly; he would have revealed himself the moment that I stepped into this room. For the first time true fear enveloped me as I realized that whoever was in the room wasn’t coming toward me to talk to me, but was stalking me. Hunting me. My throat went dry. I slipped the gun slowly from my waistband. I held it at my side, trying not to draw attention to the fact that I possessed it.