“Just got a lot...on my mind.” He looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.
“Okay, then. You coming back to study?” Well, I had to, didn’t I? Or else they would know something was wrong and then they’d all vote on who would be the one to come and talk to me about it. I’d figured out their system.
“Be right there.” I downed the rest of my tea in one gulp. It didn’t feel as badass as I’d imagined it would. I set my cup in the sink and walked back into the living room and took my place on the floor next to Hannah. She gave me a questioning look, but I shook my head and picked up my phone.
Tell you later.
I typed out the message and hit Send, hoping that her text alert wasn’t too loud. She usually had her phone off during the day when we were at class, so I couldn’t remember if I’d ever heard it go off.
When I heard what sounded like a Chinese gong at an insanely loud volume, I nearly choked on my heart, because it had jumped into my mouth. Exclamations of surprise, some more colorful than others, came from everyone else.
“Sorry! Sorry! The volume on this phone is all wonky. I’ll just turn it off.” She read my message and typed out a quick response and then turned her phone off as everyone tried to focus back in on what they were doing.
Make it good.
I shook my head at her answer and she started wiggling her eyebrows again and I debated about telling her at all, but she was really the only one I had to talk to.
Chapter 15
Hannah made some vague excuse about accidentally leaving her earrings that she’d bought at the mall in one of my bags, so we had to go back down to my room and “search” for them. As soon as she shut the door to the upstairs, she turned on me.
“Oh, my God, I’ve been dying up there! I could barely concentrate. Did he kiss you? Was it good? Did he cop a feel? Did you do it in the kitchen?”
I had to put both hands on her shoulders to stop her from continuing. Where did she get these ideas?
“No, no, no and NO. Do you seriously think we would be able to have sex in the kitchen without someone either hearing or walking in? And do you really think I’m that kind of girl? Seriously?”
She thought about that for a second.
“Well, no, but I had hope.”
I let go of her shoulders and walked down the rest of the stairs and sat on the huge couch.
“Sometimes I wonder how your mind works and then I realize that I really don’t want to know.” She dragged her feet and sat down next to me.
“So what did happen?”
I pulled my legs up and folded them under me.
“That’s what I’m still trying to figure out. We were talking and then he said something about his childhood being rough and then he touched my hair—”
“That means he loves you,” Hannah said, nodding as if it was a scientific fact.
“How do you know that?”
She waved her hand.
“It’s been proven, like, over and over again. So yeah, he touched your hair and...”
I got back on track. “He touched my hair and we were talking and then I said something and he tried to brush me aside, so I grabbed his shirt and he just...he dived at me and pushed me against the counter and I thought he was going to kiss me and then he freaked out and went back into the living room. The end.” Hannah’s eyes were wide, and she’d hung on every word as if I was sharing some naughty secret tryst rather than...well, pretty much nothing. It sounded, like, so minor when I said it out loud. It had felt anything but minor at the time.
“How many times do I have to tell you that he wants you? Dude, it sucks that we were all here or else you two might be mopping the kitchen floor together right now.” I hadn’t yet told Hannah about my still-present virginity, but this didn’t seem like a good time to bring it up, even though she’d all but admitted to me that she was, too. The way she talked led me to believe that she’d at least done more than I had, even if she hadn’t done the deed.
“I’m not going to dignify that with a response. So have you ‘found your earrings’ yet?” I got up to get ready for bed. I was tired and I had a lot to think about in the hours it would take me to actually fall asleep.
Hannah pouted but got up.
“Fine. But you’re no fun.”
“Why don’t you find your own guy? What about Brett?” I’d never met the kid, but he was the first guy she’d even mentioned, so that had to count for something. Hannah made a frustrated sound.
“I told you—it’s ancient history.”
“History has a way of repeating itself.” I was big on being the devil’s advocate tonight.
“Whatever, girl. You’ve got much more going on than I do, since I’ve got nothing going on.”
I walked her up the stairs and said goodbye before I went back to pick up the rest of my books from the living room. Hunter was the only one still up and he was rubbing his eyes and blinking them over and over.
“Where’s Dusty?”
“Oh, he had to go. Said to tell you good-night.” Why did I feel like something more had gone on while I was downstairs with Hannah? I stared at Hunter, but I knew that he was a good liar, at least about stuff like this.
“Did he say anything about me?” The words were out before I could grab them and shove them back in my mouth and pretend they hadn’t happened.
“Like what?” Play it cool.
“Oh, I don’t know. He was just being weird in the kitchen.” Hunter looked genuinely confused.
“Weird, how?” If he was lying, give this kid an Oscar.
“He didn’t say anything to you?” He shook his head and he looked a little concerned.
“Do you need to talk to me about something?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, no. He just made a joke, and I took it the wrong way. It’s fine. No big deal, seriously. I swear. Cross my heart.” I smiled and held my books to my chest.
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
“Yeah, no big. Good night.”
“Night.”
I hoped Hunter bought my semiterrible explanation and didn’t ask Dusty, because clearly Dusty hadn’t said anything to Hunter about what had happened in the kitchen. Maybe it was because everyone was around. Jesus H. Christ, why was this so confusing?
* * *
Dusty wasn’t around the next day, or the next, and I knew it had everything to do with me. I tried to ask where he was without acting like I cared too much about it, because I didn’t want anyone to be suspicious. Hunter just said that he’d picked up some extra hours at Bull Moose. We were still all going to the party on Saturday, and I decided that I needed to talk to him and know what the hell was up, because I couldn’t take the suspense. Also, Hannah had been driving me so crazy I kind of wanted to kill her, or talk to him just so I could shut her up.