Dusty coughed.
“You okay there, bud?” Hannah happened to be sitting next to him, so she banged him on the back.
“Fine,” he choked out, taking a gulp from his water glass.
“So,” Hannah said, turning back toward Renee. “Are you in?”
All eyes were on Renee.
She put her hands up. “Why do I have to be the deciding one? Someone else say yes or no. I don’t care either way.”
“Could be fun,” Taylor said.
“Right?” Hannah said, latching on to Taylor. Hunter shrugged.
“I guess.”
“What about you, Dare?” Mase said.
“I’ve already been to one, and it wasn’t that bad.”
Hannah smelled a victory.
“I’ll come, too. Keep you girls in line. And you could use some extra muscle on your side,” Hunter said.
“Agreed,” Mase said, nodding.
“I’m in if you’re in, Nene.” Props to Paul for using the nickname at a time like this.
“Well, I guess I have no choice,” Renee said, getting up and putting her plate in the sink. I knew this was going to happen. Now my sister was mad, and I was going to have to try to patch it up. Renee could stay mad for a while; I knew that from experience.
I gave Hannah a look, but she just smiled triumphantly. I shook my head and stood up, following Renee to the sink.
“I told her I didn’t want to go. I have no idea why she wants to go, but she does. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Jos. It’s fine. I’m just... I don’t like being the bad guy. I hate being in that situation. I want to be your older sister, not your mom, and sometimes I cross the line and feel like I have to be your parent.”
“I’m sorry.” Now I felt like absolute shit and I was kind of pissed at Hannah. If she hadn’t been so intent on going to this stupid party, which would probably turn out to be nothing and totally not worth it, Renee wouldn’t be mad at me.
“I’m not mad at you. I know it’s not your fault, Jos.” She turned on the sink and everyone else started bringing their dishes over.
“It’s our turn,” Darah said as she picked up the soap and squirted it on one of the sponges.
“No, it’s fine. I’ve got it,” Renee said.
“Babe, come on,” Paul said, taking her hand. I knew my sister well enough to know that she was on the verge of tears. He took her hand and led her upstairs and I heard the door to their bedroom shut.
“Can I talk to you, Hannah?” I walked toward the downstairs and jerked my head so we could go down into the cave and have a chat.
“I am so sorry. I had no idea that would happen,” she said as I shut the door and walked down the stairs.
“What did you think was going to happen? That you’d just suggest that her underage sister should go into a snake pit filled with alcohol and boys who want to touch me and things that I was all wrapped up in this summer and she’d just go along with it? Seriously, Hannah?”
We’d been friends such a short time that this was our first fight, and it felt like shit.
Her eyes were wide, her usually sassy demeanor deflated.
“I’m so sorry. I just... I’m so sorry.”
“Why did you want to go so bad?”
She walked the rest of the way down the stairs and sat down on the second to last one. I sat a few steps above her.
“It’s so stupid. You’re going to think I’m a moron.”
“Tell me and we’ll find out,” I said. I just wanted people to stop lying to me, or changing the subject. I wanted the truth, for once.
The truth is the most beautiful thing there is, because it’s the most real.
I didn’t believe him when he’d said that, and I wasn’t sure if I believed it now. The truth sucked a lot of the time.
“Okay, so you remember at the party on Sunday that I was being weird? And then we saw those guys in the Union?” I knew it had something to do with that. I just had no idea to what extent, or how.
“So, this guy came up to me and he pretended to flirt with me, invite me to the party and then he went and told all his friends that he’d flirted with a freak. It was some sort of stupid dare or something. I was pissed, of course, but whatever, you know? But then I saw them again and they just pissed me off. I’m not f**king Gandhi. I can’t deal sometimes. So I had this plan to go to the party and f**k them over somehow. I wasn’t exactly sure how I was going to do it. I was going to wait until we go there and, like, pull a Carrie, only, like, get the bad guys this time. You know?”
“Were you planning on bringing a bucket of pig’s blood with you?”
“Obviously not. That was more of a metaphor than an actual plan. I was kind of hoping you’d help me out with it.”
“You are one of the single weirdest people I have ever met.”
“That is not the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
I could imagine.
“Are you mad?”
“A little.” I slid down a step so I was one closer to her. “You could have just told me that’s why you wanted to go instead of orchestrating this crazy plan. Or I would have just told you that those douche bags weren’t worth it and averted this whole thing.”
“I know you’re right. I have this tendency to only trust myself and think that everyone else is going to screw me over. Probably because lots of people have screwed me over. I’d tell you how many times it has happened, but you might not believe some of my stories.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised.” I had stories, too.
She put her head down on her knees.
“I’ve messed things up, haven’t I?”
“It’s okay. You’re allowed. And it’s not like you did it to be mean, or for some malicious reason. I mean, not a malicious reason against people who hadn’t already been ass**les to you.” I wasn’t much for an eye for an eye, but getting those guys back seemed like a valid plan. “But would messing with those guys make you feel better?”
“At first.”
“Have you ever done this to someone who’s been like this in the past?”
She finally lifted her head up and I saw a glimmer of her smile.
“There was this girl who used to call me freak face and would move away from me if I was ever near her. She used to say a lot of other horrible things, and this one day, I’d just had enough and snapped.” She moved up and there was only one step between us.