“Hunter! I got an A on my story. Wanna hear it?”
“Sure, Seven, but I called because I want to tell you something. Taylor’s here, too.”
“Hi, Harper!” Taylor said.
“When are you coming to see me?”
“Soon, princess. I swear. But guess what?”
“What?” Harper said.
“Hunter and I are going to get married.”
“You are?”
Taylor looked at Hunter and smiled. “Yes, we are.”
A little-girl scream exploded from the phone, and Hunter picked it up and took it off speakerphone.
“She has never made that sound before,” Mase said, shaking his head. “I think she’s more excited about that than she was about the Taylor Swift tickets she got for Christmas.”
Hunter continued to talk to the excited Harper.
“So you guys going to get hitched right away?” Hannah asked Taylor as she stole the uneaten pizza crust off my plate and munched on it. I guess our friendship had progressed to the food-stealing stage.
Taylor snorted. “Yeah, I don’t think so. We both want to finish school first, and it seems...I don’t know, weird to get married while we’re still in college. I mean, I don’t want people to think I’m knocked up or anything.”
“Are you?” Hannah said. I almost died.
“Not that I know of,” Taylor said. “I just really don’t want to deal with that now. We have too much to do. But someday.”
Hannah nodded, and Renee went back to grilling Taylor about her perfect wedding.
* * *
“You okay?” I was in the kitchen having a cup of tea that night. Everyone else had gone to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. Renee’s voice made me jump.
“Yeah, fine. What are you doing up?”
“I guess I was just excited about everything. I can’t believe he actually did it.” She grabbed a glass from the dish drainer and filled it with water. “When he first got her the ring I thought he’d proposed, but then the ring was on her right hand. It was only a matter of time, though. Those two are destined for each other.”
“You jealous?” She gave me a look like I’d said something completely outlandish.
She snorted some of the water and choked. “Of them getting married? Hell, no. I am not ready to get married.”
“But you’re living with Paul. I mean, it’s not exactly the same thing, but it’s close.”
She laughed.
“Oh, my dear sweet little sister. There is a world of difference between living with someone and marrying them.”
“But you would marry Paul. Eventually, I mean.”
“Yeah, years down the road when we both are out of debt and have more than two nickels to rub together. I don’t want to spend a shit ton of money on a wedding if we can’t even afford to pay for our health insurance or a place to live. Besides, I want a huge-ass wedding, and I’m only going to do it once. Why not do it right?” She had valid points, rational points. I wondered how Paul felt about it. Not that it mattered. Renee wore the pants, the shirts and everything else in their relationship. She had him by the balls, but he never seemed to mind.
“So what was with you and Dusty?”
“What do you mean?” Shit, I did not want her to get on my case about him.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.”
“I’m not interested in him,” I said for the millionth time.
“I didn’t think you would be. I mean, he is so not your type at all.” Wasn’t. I didn’t have a type anymore.
“I can say this now that you’re not with him, but I never liked Matt. He was always so... I don’t know.” She waved her hand, trying to come up with the right word.
“Uptight?” I supplied. Yeah, so was I.
“No, it was something more than that. I always felt like he was judging me and found me wanting. But he treated you right, and I saw that he loved you, so I kept that to myself.” Not really. I could tell the whole time I’d dated Matt from high school to college that Renee hadn’t liked him. She was pretty bad at hiding when she didn’t like someone, but I would never tell her that.
She drained the glass of water. “Okay, well, I’m going back to bed. Night, little sister.” She held her arms out for a hug and I held mine out too and we hugged like we used to.
“Night, big sister.”
I took the rest of my tea and went back down to my cave and turned my music on. Ingrid Michaelson’s voice filled my ears, feeling weirdly appropriate for late-night listening.
“Here, listen to this one,” he said, handing me one of his earbuds. I fitted it to my ear as an unfamiliar voice sang about loving someone, but feeling like a freak in comparison. When I’d told him I didn’t really listen to music, he’d taken it as a challenge. Each day, he would bring me a new song. Pop, rock, country, rap, oldies, whatever. He’d listen to pretty much anything. “As long as it’s good,” he said.
“Music says what words can’t. Add words to music and you say two things at once.”
I missed him, but I still couldn’t talk about him, out loud. Not to Renee, not to anyone. I couldn’t explain it. He’d been the first real friend I’d ever had. He’d been the friend that made me realize that all the other people I thought were my friends really weren’t.
I hadn’t been in love with him, not that way, but I’d loved him all the same. I’d heard something somewhere that said guys and girls couldn’t be friends without at least one falling in love with the other, but it wasn’t true. There were just different kinds of love, that’s all. He’d been like the brother I never had, and he’d treated me like a sister. A part of me was gone, taken with him when he...
I turned off the music. It made me think of him, and I knew what he would have said if he knew I was moping about him.
Just smile, Jossy. The world isn’t that bad. Besides, you have to have the bad parts so you recognize the good ones when they come along.
Chapter 11
“Wow, this show is ridiculous.” I was sitting with Hannah on the futon under her lofted bed, watching my second episode ever of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. “It’s so weird. Those computers are, like, gigantic,” I said.
“I know, right? Like, in the best way. Just wait until the third season.” Hannah had her trusty bag of Skittles and I’d brought some M&M’s from the vending machine in the basement of her dorm and I was mixing them in an empty Solo cup. “You know, a lot of the problems on this show could have been resolved by cell phones. But then you wouldn’t have such an entertaining show, so I guess it’s fine the way it is.”