“It’s okay, Eddie. Things are okay now and we’re going to get through this. I’m just hoping you’re a match.”
“Me too. I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m not. I did a ton of research about it. I guess they can just take your blood now for the donation. They used to have to stick this huge needle into your hip and scrape out your bone marrow.” We both shuddered at the idea of that.
“I’d do it anyway. For her. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say that. You know, that I’d do that for someone I just met. My parents and my sister, sure, but she’s different. You get it, right?”
“Yeah. I do.”
The hospital visit only took about an hour and then Eddie and I went out to dinner. Now that we’d exhausted the topic of Emily, we didn’t really seem to have much to talk about.
We sat in silence, both lost in our own thoughts.
“You know I had a crush on you in high school,” he said as we waited for our drink orders at the restaurant. We’d picked a small non-chain place this time.
“You did?” This was news to me. I nearly slid out of the booth in shock.
“Yeah. But you were so aloof, or whatever that I thought you’d turn me down, which was why I never asked you out. But then there was that party and I was drunk and confident and you know the rest. I felt like an ass**le afterwards, which was why I didn’t try and talk to you.”
His words were nearly impossible to believe. I’d been embarrassed about the whole thing as well, and then I’d gotten pregnant, which really made me not want to talk to him. My pregnancy had hit its final stages during summer vacation, so the chances of him seeing me with a giant belly were slim. And I transferred schools, but she’d already been born.
“I’m sorry about that. But now I understand why you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. You didn’t look pregnant, though. How did you hide it?”
“Loose clothing; it helped that Emily wasn’t very big. And I dropped out of all my extra-curricular activities. My parents didn’t want anyone to know so they paid my brother to keep his mouth shut. Not that he cared if people knew. He just wanted the money.”
Eddie shook his head.
“That’s a little f**ked up, Audrey.”
“I know. The whole situation was.” When you’re a kid, you think your family is normal, like everyone else’s. Then you go to school, or meet other kids and realize that things are different. I didn’t know how messed up the situation was with my parents until I met other kids, and even then, it wasn’t until I spent a lot of time with Will and Lottie, and even Stryker and Trish, that I saw how strong the bonds of family could be, and just how weak mine were.
“I feel like I’m reevaluating everything now. I know she’s young, but I don’t want to be a disappointment to her, you know? I want to be a good person for her. I’ve never had that before. This is just so crazy.” He smiled and shook his head again.
“I tried to be better, but I don’t think I did a very good job. I still made a lot of mistakes.”
“Do you regret giving her up?” I didn’t mind that he was asking me so many questions. He was one of the only people who could. Who deserved to know the answers.
“In the moment, yes. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I knew that if I could get through that, I could get through anything, but I knew that it was right. Can you imagine if I’d kept her and then she’d gotten sick? I couldn’t deal with that.”
“Yeah, I definitely couldn’t. No way.”
“Are you going to tell your parents?” I was still wired up from meeting my daughter, so I just stared at my food and pushed it around on my plate. Eddie did the same.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if they could handle it. You know, having a grandchild out there that they can’t see whenever they want. I’ll have to think about it. I guess I’m going to have to tell them if I’m a match, though. I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”
We talked more about other things and then he drove me back to the dorms.
“So you’ll let me know when you hear?” I said, getting out of the car.
“The second I know the results, I’ll let you know. Promise. Thanks so much for letting me come, and when you talk to Maria, thank her for me. I’m going to call her tonight, but I just really want her to know how much this means to me.”
“I will.”
27
“Hey, how are you feeling?” A voice that wasn’t Lottie’s asked as a hand moved my sweaty hair from my forehead.
I opened my eyes and found Audrey looking down at me with concern written on her face.
“Better,” I said, and it was the truth. My throat wasn’t on fire and I could breathe through my nose again. Also, the magic soup had stayed down and my stomach was no longer acting like I was on the deck of a pitching and heaving boat in the ocean.
“How was your day?” I turned on my side and she sat down next to me.
“Good. It was good.” She smiled and her white teeth flashed in the dark of the room. She’d kept the lights off when she came in. Since it was dark outside now, I’d obviously been sleeping for a while.
“Did you see Lottie?” I asked.
“Yeah, I called her and told her when I’d be back. She just left. Oh, and she said to give you this.” She handed me a note.
There’s leftover soup in the fridge if you need it, but I don’t think you will. You’re welcome.
Your loving and awesome sister,
Lottie
I shook my head at the note.
“You’re so lucky to have someone who cares about you so much,” Audrey said, reading the note again.
“I care about you. And so does Lottie and everyone else. What would make you think that you don’t have people who are care about you? Just because your parents are dicks, doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. Some of us fit in the family we’re born into and some get to choose their family. My parents love me, I know that, and we get along great, but I don’t think they really understand me all that much. They get Lottie better. But then I found Simon and even though we seemed like we had nothing in common, we got each other. You get me, and even though I will probably never fully get you, I kind of like that. Keeps me on my toes.”
She smiled and kissed my forehead.
“Ugh, I’m gross and sweaty.” I was also still covered in VapoRub. “I should take a shower.” I tossed the covers off and started to get up.