As her partner, he had turned out to be great. As her lover… she shook her head, refusing to travel that path until she had time alone to think things through.
Unlike Chelsie, Griff kept the top of his desk meticulously clean, so she knew immediately she’d have to search the drawers. She opened the top one, hoping she wouldn’t have to search every file cabinet in the office.
She had no idea what order the files were in, so she flipped from the beginning. “What the hell?” The header on one contained her name in bold type and she withdrew a sheaf of papers.
She sifted through the assorted documents, sinking into his chair mid-way through. “Thorough background check, driving record, marriage license, divorce decree, hospital records, documentation of miscarriage and nurses’ notations of possible spousal abuse,” she read aloud.
Chelsie had discounted her ex-husband’s words, but obviously Jeff had been right. Someone had been digging into her past. The list of documents went on and on. Not a single aspect of her life had been untouched or considered sacred.
She pressed the folder to her chest feeling well and truly violated by the man she’d given her heart.
“Chelsie,” Griff called out, striding into his office. “Gloria said you’re looking for the list. I must have stuffed it into… What’s wrong?”
She raised her head and looked at him. “You ought to lock up private documents, or at least not be so liberal about sharing your office.” She tossed the file onto his empty desk, watching as the papers scattered across the dark wood. “Anything you wanted to know, all you had to do was ask. I never once lied to you. Omitted facts, maybe, but I never lied.”
Slowly, he lowered his briefcase into the nearest chair. His expression revealed nothing. “Anything I learned, I wanted to hear from you first.”
“So explain this.” She jerked her hands towards the documents, lifting one in her hand.
“A concerned friend.”
“Ryan,” she muttered.
He nodded. “But not my idea.”
“So you didn’t ask your best friend to dig up all the dirt on my sordid past?”
A muscle twitched in his cheek. “That hurts, Chelsie. I thought you knew me better than that. I turned down an opportunity to have Ryan investigate before we became partners.”
“So you had an attack of morality. But that didn’t stop you from reading the information when you had the chance.” Given the curiosity inherent in human nature, Chelsie wouldn’t be surprised if he had. She also wouldn’t blame him. He’d gone against his initial instincts.
Despite her mistake in suing for custody on her parents’ behalf, he’d taken her into his home and practically shared custody of Alix. With her family’s track record and his niece’s welfare at stake, Griff had a right to delve as deeply as he wanted into her life.
“It sure as hell did.” His dark eyes narrowed. Anger emanated from the arrogant tilt of his head to the hand he slammed against the desk. “Think about it.”
She paused. When she tried to view yesterday’s revelations from an unbiased perspective, she had no choice but to believe him. If he had known of her infertility, the information wouldn’t have thrown him as it had. There would have been no reason for him to take off or for him to need time on his own. Certainly, he would have had an opportunity to anticipate how to respond should she choose to confide in him. On the other hand, if he hadn’t known, he’d be shocked and react accordingly. And he had.
Only one question remained. How did Griff feel about her now? She’d laid her heart out for him, and he hadn’t accepted her love. But he hadn’t rejected it either.
“And now that you know everything?” she asked, her eyes never leaving his.
Griff wasn’t surprised that she’d all but asked his intentions. It was only a matter of time. As an attorney, he’d seen her question, cross-examine, and win the toughest cases. Only in her personal life had she seemed fragile, but that fragility cracked yesterday. She’d grown stronger since. When she’d admitted her past, she had faced her own demons. After that, cornering Griff about his feelings couldn’t be too tough.
He sat on the corner of his desk, watching as she swiveled her chair back and forth.
“I’m not pressuring you for an answer. I’m just curious about what’s going through your mind,” she said.
He decided on honesty. “Remember I told you I’d been engaged?”
She nodded. “You’re still in love with her?” Her voice nearly cracked under the strain of asking such a potentially devastating question.
“I don’t think I ever was. I think she fulfilled certain expectations,” he admitted, thinking of his selfish ex-fiancée.
“Such as?”
“She left me when things got rough. She wanted my six-figure salary and the perks that came along with the partnership. She wanted what I could give her, but she never wanted me.”
“Or Alix,” Chelsie murmured.
“Exactly. You, on the other hand, claim to want both.”
She narrowed her eyes and Griff could almost see her analytical mind sifting through the information. It was only a matter of time before she figured things out on her own. Griff waited.
“So the question is do I want you, or do I want what you can give me—what I can’t have on my own?” She clenched her fists, apparently forgetting she still held the documents. The papers crumpled under the strain. “Is that an accurate assessment of what you’re thinking?” she asked.
He bit down on the inside of his cheek. “Yes.”
She nodded. “And here I thought your greatest concern would be that I couldn’t give you children of your own. Tell me, is that also a problem for you, counselor?”
“No.”
“Right.” She surged to her feet, anger and hurt more than evident in her dark eyes. “Every man wants his own flesh and blood, Griff. Don’t kid yourself or me. Somewhere down the line, you’d resent me because I couldn’t give you a child of your own.”
“Whatever put that idea in your head?”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I only asked because I was curious.”
He couldn’t believe she thought so little of him. Could she truly think he’d only want her if she could bear his children? “You’re wrong, Chelsie. It matters very much.”
“Not really.” She collected the scattered papers on the desk and shuffled them into a neat stack. “If you could even think that I’d use you, that all I want from you is what you could give me, then we never had much between us anyway.”