Or she didn’t want to. The glimmer Mike saw in her eyes wasn’t happiness, it was uncertainty, and his heart clenched with the same emotion. Because for the first time he acknowledged that he might actually lose her.
“Commitment,” he explained. “I had to complete one before I could make another.” He leaned over. Lowering his head to hers, he tasted her lips, reveling in the sweetness that was uniquely Carly. His mouth moved over hers, coaxing and teasing, seeking acceptance. Her resistance fled in seconds, with a soft sigh and an intimate greeting. Her tongue met his and Mike’s self-control went into remaining gentle but insistent. He couldn’t, wouldn’t lose her now.
She raked her fingers through his hair as she allowed him to draw her closer. He brushed feather-light kisses on the tip of her nose and across her jaw. He sat beside her and drew her close. She didn’t pull away and that gave him hope.
Now he owed her honesty. “Orphaned isn’t abandoned. Do you remember telling me that?” He separated them so he could look into her brown eyes.
She nodded.
“I didn’t understand then. Until I spent time with those kids from the accident, I couldn’t. But I realize now that I was still feeling like a lost kid... and pushing away any chance of ever settling down. Running from one job to the next without any long-term commitment, not letting anyone close to me... because I didn’t want to give anyone the chance to leave me again.”
“Including me?”
“Especially you. Because you meant more to me than anyone else. So I left you first.”
She shook her head and laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Some pair we are.”
“But I came back. The appendicitis hit once I’d already landed, but I came back. Do you understand now?” he asked.
She pressed a kiss to his neck but remained silent causing his heart to thud painfully against his chest. Mike grasped her arms in front of her, holding her before him, begging her to listen and understand. “We both had things to deal with, things to face. There’s no shame in that.”
“I know. I wasn’t any better at dealing with the past than you were. But that’s changed. While you were gone, I made peace with my parents.”
Pride swelled inside him and her words gave him hope. “I know what that took for you.”
She nodded. “And I learned something.”
“What was that?”
“That my perception of safety was as false as my perception of life. Nothing about Peter was safe.”
Mike reached for the duffel bag he’d dropped earlier and pulled out a stack of photos. “Look.”
Carly accepted the pile and flipped through the pictures. “Rye Playland,” she said, feeling the smile on her lips.
“Take a look at yourself.”
She did and was surprised by what she saw. Wide smiles, huge laughing eyes... and they were hers. “I was happy,” she whispered.
“We were happy.”
“What are you saying?”
“Just what I said in the hospital. I’m not running anymore. I’m back.”
“For...?”
“For good.”
“And your career?”
He exhaled. “I’m not saying I won’t miss the travel, but I figure we can do that together. And I’m sure I can get a job with a national...”
“What about the danger? Won’t you miss the danger? The excitement? The making a difference?” Afraid to hope, yet unable to prevent herself, Carly waited for his answer.
“I think you provide enough excitement, sweetheart.”
Her heart pounded hard inside her chest. “You won’t get bored? Miss your old way of life?”
He rubbed his thumb over the pulse point in her wrist. “You are my life. Together we can do things we’ve never dreamed of alone.”
That much was true. It was Mike’s strength and belief in her that had gotten her through the last month, even though he wasn’t there. She rose and went into the bedroom. When she returned to face Mike, she held out a white box that contained her heart, all wrapped in one package.
He opened the box and pulled out her manuscript, handling it as if it was fragile glass. “You did it.”
She nodded, watching from a few feet away as he began turning the pages. On page two, she held her breath.
The dedication was burned in her heart and soul. To the man who told me that passion and love are healthy human emotions. And then set out to prove it.
Slowly he raised his gaze to meet hers. The golden flecks danced in his eyes. “Thank you,” he said softly.
“You’re welcome. I couldn’t have done it without you. You were right about me... about a lot of things. This is my way of saying thanks.” She pointed to the stack of white pages in his hands.
He placed the manuscript back in the box.
“That copy is for you. I hoped... well, if you came back, I wanted you to have it. You can read it if you want,” she said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “There’s a lot of me in there.”
After meeting with her parents, she’d spent the next two weeks in front of the computer. The heart of the manuscript, the elusive something that had been missing, had miraculously found its way onto the screen. The results had been therapeutic.
“I’ll read it because I want to. I already know you.”
Afraid to speak because of the lump forming in her throat, and because she was afraid she’d break down, she merely nodded. He had always known her, even when she hadn’t known herself.
Taking a deep breath, she gathered her courage and left her past behind. She looked the man she loved in the eye. “I’m not running anymore either,” she whispered.
A harsh groan echoed from deep inside him as he reached for her, pulling her down to the couch with him. He winced but wrapped his arms around her anyway. Lowering his head, his lips met hers. His kiss was wet, hot, everything she remembered and more. Her heart kicked into high gear under the intensity of his kiss.
She lay back on the couch and he followed, bracing his arms on either side of her head. She could see the exertion it took for him to move. “Now tell me,” he said, his voice hoarse and disbelieving.
“I love you, Mike. I always have.”
“God, I love you too.”
Carly grinned. “Good. Now get up slowly and march into that bedroom. I’m taking care of you.”
He groaned.
“Someone has to make sure you don’t do too much too fast.”