A genius playboy, that’s who. He’d told her he’d studied how to be funny, how to charm and weave his way through society, yet somehow she’d never considered he was using those skills to manipulate her into going to bed with him in less than a week. She wanted to pound her head against a tree.
Or collapse on the front stoop and cry her eyes out.
Her older sister pushed through the front screen door, hinges creaking. They could have been twins born seven years apart, yet they’d taken two such different paths. As much as Hillary had scoffed at anyone staying on this farm, her sister definitely appeared to be the wiser one.
Claudia opened her arms and hugged her hard. They’d been close as kids, taking care of each other. What had changed? When had she quit helping her sister?
Hillary stepped back and hooked an arm with Claudia. “Where are the kids and hubby?”
“Asleep, but looking forward to seeing you in the morning. Where’s your Robin Hood Hacker Hunk?”
“Long story. Can we save it for later?” When she could talk about him without crying? Like maybe sometime in the next decade. “I’m sorry to have kept you up so late… I’m sorry I left you to take care of everything with Mom and Dad.”
“You don’t have to apologize for anything.” Claudia squeezed her sister’s hand on their way up the steps they’d climbed countless times. “You’re living your life. That’s what grown-ups are supposed to do.”
“Are you living yours the way you want? With Mom staying here?” She needed to hear that she hadn’t totally wrecked her sister’s life by bailing.
Claudia tugged open the creaky screen again. “No one wants to have an alcoholic mother in and out of rehab clinics. And I’m sure you don’t want to have to keep footing the bill because I’m too cash-strapped with three kids to feed. We both do what we can.”
“Writing the check is easy.”
“Ha! So says the woman who doesn’t have a kid in braces.” Her sister guided her through the house, toward the back guest room. “Come on. Mom tried to stay awake to see you, but she’s on a lot of pain medication. She drifted off about an hour ago.”
Only a few more steps and they would be outside their mother’s door, where she slept.
“I’ll see her in the morning then. We could all use a good night’s sleep.” Hillary turned quickly, stopping in the kitchen, a traditional wide-open space with a six-seat oak table in the middle. “I appreciate your trying to make the distribution seem fair, but I still feel guilty. Like I’ve run away.”
“We’re both children of an alcoholic. That leaves a mark on the way we deal with things.” Claudia snagged a caffeine-free Diet Coke off the counter, popped the top and passed it to her sister before getting one for herself. “I lean toward the whole codependent gig, and you lean toward avoidance. We’re both trying to do better, to be better. I figure as long as we’re both still trying, then there’s nothing to be gained from beating up on ourselves.”
Hillary leaned against the tile counter, sipping the Diet Coke. “It seems so strange that she came here to die when she always swore she hated this place, that the boredom drove her to drink.”
“Honey,” her sister crooned squeezing her arm, “you gotta know that was just an excuse.”
Hillary looked around the kitchen with all its windows showcasing the wide-open space…much like Troy’s place. “It’s really pretty here.”
“Yes, it is.” Her sister smiled serenely, tipping back her can of soda.
“You can say ‘I told you so’ if you want.” She deserved everything coming her way after she’d been all but snobby about the place. Until this moment, she’d never really seen her home without the dark filter of her mom’s bitterness.
“I’m not a gloater. You should know that about me.” Her sister tapped her can against Hillary’s.
“I do, which is probably why I offered to let you lord it over me, since I knew you wouldn’t.”
“That’s convoluted logic.”
“I picked it up from the best.” Another thing she’d learned from Troy this week. How could so much happiness and pain be mingled together?
Her sister cocked her head to the side, brow furrowed. “You can love here and love somewhere else, too. That’s okay.”
Hillary nodded. “I’m starting to understand that.” She looked around at the children’s art on the fridge, at the cow clock on the wall, and found the words falling from her mouth in spite of the burn of tears behind her eyes. “Troy has this place in Costa Rica, and it’s amazing. But not because it’s flashy. His home is actually very rustic—with a lot of high-tech gadgetry of course, but the look of the place is earthy. It’s real.”
“Sis, I gotta confess, this is a stretch. You’re comparing Costa Rica with Vermont? No offense to my beloved home state, of course.”
“I know, I know, I’ve thought the same thing.” Her jumbled thoughts from this whole crazy week started coming together in her mind like puzzle pieces…. She’d been using the farm as an excuse for her own unhappiness. On some level, she must have known that or why else would she have insisted on carrying little cow talismans as reminders of home? Her childhood hadn’t been perfect, but it hadn’t been all bad. There were good memories, too. Life wasn’t clear-cut or black-and-white like the spots on a cow.
Had she been missing the boat on her career, as well? Focusing on the glitz at the expense of depth? Did she really want to spend the rest of her life planning parties? Troy had found simplicity and meaning underneath all the wealth. She’d been so busy judging Troy, she hadn’t considered her own superficial choices. Her narrow view of the world had likely led to her previous bad choices in men.
But she should have realized Troy was different. Special.
She set her soda on the counter. “I’m trying to say a place’s beauty isn’t about the trappings. It’s about appreciating it exactly as it is.”
“That’s pretty profound, actually.” Her sister stood beside her, leaning back against the counter, quietly waiting.
So much more effective than if her sister had pressed.
“The media paints Troy as this arrogant, urbane guy.” She thought of that first time she’d seen him on the plane. “It’s a face he puts on for the world, and honestly that persona is sexy as hell.”