“And your verdict?”
Why the hell had that jumped out of his mouth now? Her answer mattered to him, more than he was comfortable with. He was supposed to be romancing her to seal the deal, not freaking her out with a full-court press.
“Honestly, Troy, the thought scares the hell out of me. What do I know about being a mom?” She spread her arms wide before tapping his chest. “And you mentioned genetics once. What about that? What if between our genes and the patterns we’ve seen, our kids… I mean… Ah, hell.” She shoved against his chest. “Why are you bringing this up now? We should be talking about whether to go out for pizza or steak.”
He shifted away from her, leaning back against the balcony. “I always thought I would adopt.”
His answer stopped her. She turned to face him again. “Really?”
“Sure, once I found the right woman to spend my life with, because I don’t know that I’m up to the task of parenting alone.”
“And you would adopt because of the genetics fears you talked about?”
“In part, maybe. But I also figure I have all of this money and flexibility and there are kids out there without homes. Maybe I could just say to hell with worrying about someone getting into trouble and go ahead and adopt a troubled kid. Help them turn it around, give a kid the same break I got.”
“You would do that?” She came back to him, leaning a hip against the rail. “Take in a child you already knew had problems?”
“If I had a biological kid who got into trouble like me and my brother did, I wouldn’t just write him or her off.” Memories of fights with his dad reverberated in his head. “And by problems, maybe I would take in a kid with medical problems, someone overlooked. I could pay for anything that kid needed. And hats. Lots of little hats for the kid.”
Her eyes welled with tears as she touched his cheek. “Are you for real? Or is this an act to make women love you?”
“Would you believe me even if I said every word is true?”
He pushed back a wince at how he’d delayed for a day in telling her they could leave Costa Rica. He hadn’t lied, he’d just…
Quibbled.
That’s what Hillary would call it, and she wouldn’t be forgiving of what she considered a lie. But how could he let her go not knowing if she’d agree to see him again?
“The thought of believing everything you’re saying scares me. The fantasy is so much easier.” She pulled a wobbly smile. “Even with the handcuffs.”
“You’re worried I’ll hurt you.” Even the thought of anyone hurting her made him want to haul her in and hold her tight.
“Remember when we talked about your happy childhood memory?” She folded her arms over her chest. “When my sisters and I were little, we would ride around on the tractor with Dad. He told us we were princesses and that was our chariot. It was fun to pretend.”
“If you loved the farm so much, why were you so hungry to leave?”
“Because I realized all those times on the ‘chariot’—that was just to protect the queen while she was toasted.” She wrapped her arms around herself tighter, all but putting a wall between them.
“He was protecting his kids, you mean,” he said, trying to put a positive spin on things, to give her something happier to hold on to.
“If he’d been protecting us, he wouldn’t have enabled her. He loved her, but he was scared of her. He was scared if he pressed her to change, she would leave him.” She stopped and held up her hand. “Whoa. Wait. I screwed up that happy memory exchange, too. Anyhow, I left the farm, but I don’t hate it. I still go back to visit—my sister lives there with her family now that our dad’s gone. Mom lives in an apartment—when she’s not in rehab.”
To hell with distance. He hauled her against his chest again. “I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. I can see how that would make you wary. But you can trust me, Hillary—”
His cell rang on the porch railing.
She looked quickly at the phone. “You should get that.”
“Ignore it.”
“It could be important.”
Sighing, he snatched up the damn phone, knowing she was right. His assistant’s name scrolled across the caller ID. If this had anything to do with Hillary’s safety, he couldn’t afford to ignore it.
“What?” he barked into the phone, resenting the intrusion of the outside world. “This better be important.”
“It is. Hillary Wright’s sister is going crazy trying to get in touch with her. Says it’s something to do with their mother.”
* * *
In the privacy of her room, Hillary cradled the phone and dialed her sister. After the intense conversation with Troy, she needed her space to face a call about her mother.
Why in the world did he have to bring up kids now? So early in their relationship? She was still adjusting to being in love with him. And then he had to roll out those incredibly enticing images of him as a dad, of him opening his life and heart to a kid who desperately needed a family. He was making her think he might want a future with her. Had she willingly signed on for another heartbreak by coming here with him?
The ringing in the phone receiver stopped and her youngest niece started chattering into the phone, “Aunt Hillary, Aunt Hillary, Grandma’s moving in with us!”
Shock froze her. Her sister had always been softer where their mother was concerned, but she couldn’t have actually caved on this. What about the children? “Could you please put your mommy on the phone?”
“Okeydokey. Love you, Aunt Hillary.”
She clutched the phone tighter. “Love you, too, sweetie. See you when you come to Washington for your family vacation.”
The sound of her niece shouting, “Mommm, telephone, Aunt Hillary,” sounded in the background. Footsteps grew louder, then the rustling of the phone being passed over.
“Hillary?” her sister gasped into the phone.
“Claudia, what is going on there? I got an emergency SOS to call and now I hear Mom’s moving in with you. Are you nuts?” All her fears and frustrations poured out in nervous babbling. “This is taking the codependent thing a little far, don’t you think? You can’t really expect to have her there with your children, can you? Maybe you don’t remember what it was like, but I do.”
“Hillary,” Claudia interrupted. “Slow down, okay? I need to tell you something and it’s a tough one.”