“Past tense....” He rubbed his neck, and her fingers clenched at the memory of the warmth of his skin. “I’m still getting used to that. What about now?”
“I honestly don’t know, and the way you’re sitting over there all detached makes it even tougher to figure out what I’m feeling.”
He stood, and her mouth went dry the way it always did when he walked her way. But instead of scooping her up, he simply moved into a large leather chair across from her. “When we were together at the beach, none of that was pretend. You can trust what we felt.”
“It was real, but we’re still learning things weren’t as perfect as we thought they were the day we got engaged. It will take us both some time to trust anyone again.”
His jaw flexed with tension. “The thought of you getting over me enough to be with someone else is not a heartening thought.”
“Why do you naturally assume that the someone I should be with would have to be another person?” She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. What the hell was going on? He’d made it clear he didn’t want to break up when she’d walked, and now that she was reaching out, he’d put up a wall between them. “Even after what we shared last night?”
“Is this really a discussion we should be having now?”
“If not now, when?”
Turbulence jostled the plane again, harder this time and Ruby scrambled for steady footing.
Stone rose quickly, no doubt welcoming the chance to avoid the tough conversation. “We should crate the dogs now.”
Sighing, Johanna rose, too, walking to the sofa to pick up Pearl. The pup sat on top of the sketch pad, head tipped with total attitude, one ear up, one down. Johanna gathered the scruffy rascal and uncovered Stone’s sketch pad.
A gasp hitched in her throat as she looked down at a page filled with all the fantasy jewelry pieces he’d described wanting to create just for her, and in the middle of it all, a drawing of her sitting in a field of bluebonnets with Pearl beside her. The attention to detail was mind-blowing, even down to the weave of her French braid.
The whole time she’d thought he was pushing her away, he’d been focused completely on her.
* * *
Stone secured the latch on Ruby’s crate. The Rottweiler stared back with droopy sad eyes as she curled up on her fluffy green dog bed. He plucked a dog biscuit from the bin beside the crates and passed a treat through. This week with Johanna was getting more and more complicated and he didn’t know how to return to the connection they’d enjoyed while staying at the beach.
She knelt beside him, sliding Pearl into the smaller crate with a pink doggie bed and a couple of chew toys. Just as she locked the pup in, the plane jostled again. And again. Johanna tumbled against him, knocking him back. He twisted fast to cushion her fall with his body.
Johanna stretched out on top of him. “Oh, my, that was something.”
He tugged her loose ponytail. “I’m not right for you and you shouldn’t settle.”
“I know that, and yet here we are.”
God, he knew he wasn’t good enough for her and still he could already hear that voice in the back of his mind insisting he try to repair the damage that had been done in the past and clear away obstacles to their future.
She wriggled against him enticingly. “Do we have enough time to slip away into the back cabin before we land?”
He clamped a hand on her bottom, acknowledging that he was still unable to resist this woman. He couldn’t envision a time he could ever keep her at arm’s length. So yeah, he was a selfish bastard. “Keep moving like that and we won’t need much time at all.”
Laughing, she leaned down to kiss him. The turbulence dipped the plane, and they rolled, slamming against the dog crates.
The captain’s voice rumbled over the intercom, announcing the need to return to their seats and buckle in until they cleared the turbulence.
Stone’s low curse whispered between them before he levered off her. He extended a hand to help her up while bracing his other palm along her back protectively to steady her as they returned to the sofa and dug out the seat belts. He took the sketch pad, flipped it closed fast and tossed it aside.
She clicked the lap belt and tugged the strap. “I felt much better for Ruby after hearing the Renshaws’ feedback. Makes me hopeful that will work well, too. I wish we knew more about Pearl’s family in Montana.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised my grandmother isn’t keeping Ruby, since that’s the one dog she chose rather than adopting from someone else. I never thought to ask Gran about Ruby’s history. She just said she got Ruby at a shelter, nothing more.”
“Your grandmother seemed lonely after she retired from the board at Diamonds in the Rough. So I took her to the animal shelter. She chose a new friend. Ruby was a stray, no known history, but they took to each other right away.”
“You’re a good woman, Johanna. I’ve always known that, though.” His hand fell on her knee.
“Don’t try the übercharmer act on me.” She leaned closer and tapped him on the chin.
“It’s not an act,” he denied even as he slid his hand under the hem of her dress, ideas flourishing for ways to please her in spite of the seat belt. “If I were just trying to charm you, I would compliment your beautiful face or your hot body....” He skimmed up the inside of her thigh, welcoming the distraction from more serious talk and concerns. If only he could lose himself in her infinitely.
“Which is all true, of course,” he continued. “That’s what reeled me into asking you out. But the good woman part?” He squeezed her thigh without moving any higher. “That’s what kept me around. That’s why I proposed. And ultimately, that’s why you left me.”
“What are you trying to accomplish?” There was anguish in her beautiful eyes, but a whisper of hope that spurred him on and crystalized his thoughts.
“It’s a warning, I guess,” he said somberly, sliding his hand from under her dress to take her fingers in his. “You are a good woman, and you deserve better than what I have to offer. But that isn’t going to stop me from offering and asking again.”
Her throat moved in a slow swallow. “Stone—”
“Shh.” He pressed a finger to her lips. “I don’t want you to answer yet. You should think. And just so you know, all I can think about is peeling your clothes away piece by piece, then making love to you in a field of bluebonnets.”