Johanna glanced up through her eyelashes at Stone. His broad shoulders against the sentimental moonlight made for a mouth-watering silhouette. “You’re right. I’m just...feeling emotional about Mariah. I know it must be so much worse for you.”
He cricked his neck from side to side. “Let’s get through the week as best we can.”
“Of course, there’s satisfaction to be found in doing something tangible for Mariah.” She scooped up the dachshund. Seven-year-old Sterling cuddled closer as if sensing the ache inside her. “We should, uh, turn in. We have a lot of ground to cover this week for the other dogs.”
Nerves pattered as quickly as racing dog feet as she made fast tracks along the pavers toward the guesthouse.
Stone followed—she could hear the steady even tread of his long-legged stride. He reached past her, thumbed in the security code and pushed the large door wide into the sweeping great room.
Pearl and Ruby raced past, sniffing and exploring, closing in on the large dog bowl of water even though they’d had plenty to drink outside, as well. She set Sterling down to join them. Three fat, fluffy dog beds were lined up behind the sofa. The Donavans were thoughtful hosts.
As she turned toward the expansive glass wall, she couldn’t help but think the winter must be magnificent with the view of a snow-covered countryside. Even now, the sight was beyond magnificent, lush and green with cows grazing. She worked with large animals as a vet tech every day and had seen farms across Texas, but even she found this place breathtaking. What would it be like to have visited these people when she and Stone had been a couple? Most of their outings had been to more pretentious social gatherings, high-end fund-raisers or business functions.
Nothing like this day or this place.
The Donavans clearly had embraced the Vermont experience, complete with dairy cows. Although not all Vermont farms came with an ice cream parlor just for their kids.
Stone whistled softly from the state-of-the-art kitchen. “When they said they’d stocked the kitchen for us, they weren’t joking. Do you want something to drink? Just pick, I’m sure it’s here. Snacks, breakfast pastries, fruit and ice cream. Holy cow—so to speak.”
Listening to him ramble off the flavors, she realized he was doing his best to ease the tension between them. Definitely a wise idea if she wanted to get through this week with her sanity intact. “I’ll take a scoop of the maple nut.”
“Coming right up,” he said, opening cabinets and drawers.
She walked to the kitchen island and hitched a hip up onto a bar stool. “They’re a surprisingly normal family, given all their wealth.”
He passed her a bowl and spoon. “Are you saying that my family is pretentious because of our money?”
“Not at all. But some of your friends...” She stabbed her spoon into the generous mound of ice cream in the blue stoneware bowl. “They looked right through my father in the stables.”
Scowling, he stood across from her, his bowl in front of him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You were more than just sorry about it,” she answered, remembering well how he’d stood up to snobs. “You did something about it. I remember this one time when I was about eleven and one of your college friends was ordering my dad around. You made sure that guy was given the slowest, least cooperative horse in the stable. The horse even sat in the middle of a stream and got the guy soaking wet. I knew it wasn’t accidental on your part. Was it?”
He winked, his scowl fading. “You seem to have me all figured out.”
“You always treated everyone with respect.” Her trip down memory lane reminded her of the reasons she’d fallen for this man in the first place. “You took care of your own horse. But that day when I was eleven, I officially developed my crush on you.”
“You never told me that story before.” He shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, his eyes tracking her every movement with an intensity that tingled through her.
“I had insecurities of my own in those days,” she admitted now. It was tough to share her self-doubts around someone as confident and, yes, arrogant as Stone. “I was a tomboy, freckled and gangly, living in a trailer park. I was brought up with strong values and I loved my parents, the life they made for me.”
“They loved you. The pride on your dad’s face when he talked about you was unmistakable.”
“Thank you...” Her eyes misted just thinking about them. She understood all too well the pain Stone was facing, losing his mother figure. “I miss them so much, especially lately.”
He ate silently, letting her find her way through. She wasn’t sure where her thoughts were taking her, but she felt the need to make him understand something she couldn’t quite define herself.
Johanna set her spoon aside. “I know your family is full of good people, open-minded and generous. A part of me didn’t want to show just how vulnerable I felt. Even growing up on the ranch, I was on the periphery as an employee’s child.”
She shook her head, her voice trailing off, and she ate a bite of ice cream to cover her silence. The maple flavor melted over her taste buds.
“Johanna...” He clasped her wrist. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
Licking the spoon clean, ever aware of his eyes on her mouth, she gathered her words. “It’s strange how you said you felt you weren’t good enough for me.... Learning which fork to use for an occasional meal at the big house is a long way from walking in billionaire circles on a day-to-day basis. Keeping up appearances during our engagement and constantly worrying I would do something to embarrass you was exhausting.”
“You never let it show.” His frown turned to a scowl. “Don’t you think that’s something I would have cared to know? We were engaged to be married, for God’s sake. If we couldn’t tell each other even something basic like that, then what did we even have together?”
“You’re angry?”
“I’m frustrated, yes. All this time I’ve been thinking that I let you down.” He shoved aside his bowl and leaned on his elbows, closing the space between them. “Right now, I’m realizing we let each other down. Except you weren’t interested in shouldering your part of the blame.”
Anger sparked along her already raw nerves. “I open up to you, and now you’re pissed off? That isn’t very fair.”
He sidestepped around the island to stand in front of her. “Nothing about what has happened between us has been fair or we wouldn’t still be hurting this much.”