My lips curve up on one side. He cups my face and brushes his lips across mine.
“That sounds about right.”
“Yep. We just have to clear something up first.”
“What’s that?”
His gray eyes clear, becoming raw and honest. “I’m sorry I never told you how I feel.”
“I know now,” I respond.
He shakes his head a little. “No, you don’t. You don’t know how just a touch of your hand can take away the pain from my past, and you don’t know how lying next to you at night stops the nightmares. You don’t know that you’re the first person to really make me smile, and you definitely don’t know that I’m so in love with you I can’t see or think straight. ‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’”
Damn. He gets the British accent perfect. I smile up at him, and resting my hands on his waist, I move our bodies closer. His fingers slip into my hair, curling around the back of my head, barely brushing the top of my neck.
“Even when I tried not to, I still did,” he says in a softer voice, resting his forehead against mine. My nose brushes his, and I close my eyes, just listening to him. “I stepped over the edge and started falling for you, and I’m damn sure I don’t ever want to get back up from it. I don’t know how you do it, baby, but you make me better.”
Aston touches his lips to mine, a feather-light brush, and I slide my hands around and up his back to his shoulders.
“A speech worthy of Mr. Darcy,” I mutter, smiling. He pulls his face back, his eyes lighter, his lips curved upwards. My hands move along his arms, and I hold his gaze intensely. “I love you, Aston. I don’t know how or why, I just know that I do. Everything you think about yourself, everything you’ve been told, I see and think the complete opposite. You are worth everything to me – everything. Okay? And I promise you here and now, I won’t leave.”
He takes a shuddery breath, vulnerability flickering in his eyes. Instead of saying anything he dips his face toward mine, and our lips meet again. His hands slide down my back, and as I wrap my arms around his neck our bodies align perfectly.
“You don’t have a choice,” Aston whispers, his breath fanning across my lips. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever let you leave. Besides, we never had a proper first kiss.”
“We did. Up against a wall after you attacked me, I believe.”
“That wasn’t a kiss. That was a prelude to sex that never happened.”
“Yes, but kissing happened,” I remind him.
The corner of his mouth twitches slightly. “But it wasn’t a kiss – not a proper kiss.”
“You’ve kissed me hundreds of times, Aston.”
“I know. But we still never had a real first kiss.”
I sigh, slightly amused by this. “Why is that so important to you?”
“Because you’re the most romantic person I know, and I know it matters to you.”
“It doesn’t matter that much.” I gaze into his smoky eyes. “It’s just a kiss.”
“Nothing with you is ‘just’ anything,” he mutters, smiling. “It’s always more than it seems, and I want to give you the first kiss you deserve.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Having us is more than enough.”
“Megan …”
“You’re not going to give up on the idea of a second first kiss, are you?”
Aston shakes his head. “I’ll never give up on anything where you’re concerned. So let me have my way.”
“Fine,” I whisper.
He dips his face toward me, the tip of his nose brushing mine. My eyes flutter closed.
“I hope you’re ready for the best first kiss of your life,” he whispers. “Because it’s gonna be your last first kiss.”
His hand slides to the back of my head and pushes us together. Our mouths meet, a soft touch that becomes gently more probing. His lips caress mine slowly, and my body sinks into him. The taste of him, the feel of him, the smell of him – it all takes me over. With each brush of his lips I feel myself falling deeper into him, even deeper than I am already.
I feel myself crashing into him with everything I have, crashing into him and holding on tightly to everything he has to give. Because the romantic in me wants it all and it won’t let it go. At all.
~
My heart is in complete contradiction of itself. Lying here in Aston’s arms, half of it is lighter than it’s been in the last few weeks. The lightness comes from the truth being told. But the other half is heavy, like a lead weight is holding it down and pinning it to the ground.
I shift, and Aston’s grip on me tightens. I run my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his face, and study him. Now he looks like he’s at peace. The lines on his forehead I’ve seen so many times are now completely smooth, his mouth is slightly open, and his breathing is even and steady.
But his peace has come at the torment of my best friend – who’s somewhere in this house, probably awake. He’ll be hating himself for being mad at me, happy I found the love he has, and guilty I felt like I couldn’t tell him.
In fact he won’t be at the house. I know exactly where he’ll be.
I climb out of bed, and there’s a light knock at the door. Crap. I grab one of Aston’s shirts from the back of his chair, throw it over my head and open the door a crack. Lila’s face stares back at me.
“I ran back to the dorm room to get you some clothes. I knew you didn’t have any and you’d be up now.” She holds out a bag.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
“Hey – you don’t need to thank me. I don’t wanna be you today. Braden isn’t even here; he left Maddie a note on her cell that he needed an hour. She gets it but has no idea where he is.”
“That’s why you got me clothes.”
She laughs into her hand. “Partly. I know it’s no good all of us going and searching for him – I mean, he could be anywhere, right? You’re the one person who will find him.”
I nod. “I know where he’ll be. Tell Mads not to worry; I’ll find him. Thanks for bringing this, Li.”
She smiles and walks down the hall to Ryan’s room. I close the door behind me and turn to see Aston’s gray eyes staring at me hotly. I ignore the feeling that sweeps my body and hold up the bag.