“He meant exactly what he said,” I say, my eyes focusing on the fifty-something woman pacing the front of the room. “‘The devils are here.’ Whether or not he believed in God he would have believed that each of us have free will as the bible teaches us – the free will to be either good or evil. The people that chose to be evil, to steal, beat, murder, they were the devils. They still are.”
“So you agree, Megan?”
“How can you not? I’m by no means religious, nor do I pretend to be, but I’m not blind to the world. If there is a God, a greater good, then there must be a devil and a greater evil to balance it out. The greater evil is in the people sitting on both death row and a park bench. If there is a hell, it’s most definitely empty. Ask anyone who has been unfortunate enough to come into contact with one of those people and has demons of their own left over. They’ll tell you that the devils are here disguised as one of us.”
“So you’re saying you could be sitting among devils and not know it?” Her eyebrow raises and she pauses in her pacing.
“You walk among them daily, whether or not you realize it. We all do, and we probably know someone that has demons inside their mind and not know it.”
My professor nods, moving onto someone else.
Demons. Just like Aston has.
Demons from the evil that spawned them.
Shakespeare was right. If there is a devil, he’s definitely on this Earth.
~
Green-gray eyes. Chestnut brown hair with a hint of copper. Nice broad shoulders and the lingering of a summer tan on his skin. And as boring as a lecture on psychics in a monotone voice.
Which, in fact, could be what he’s talking to me about right now.
I’m going to kill Lila for this one.
“I’m sorry.” I come back to the here and now. “What did you say?”
He bristles a little. “Did you listen to any of that?”
“Um.” A slight flush rises on my cheeks. “Not really. I’m sorry. I’m not great company right now. I have a few things, er, going on.”
“Do you want to talk about it? It helps, you know.”
Dude, I can’t even remember your name. I’m not about to tell you my life story.
“No, no, it’s fine. Thanks.” I attempt a smile through gritted teeth, hoping I’m a better actress than I think I am. “Maybe we should just finish up here.”
“Sure.” He waves toward the counter for our small bill, and I swallow my relieved sigh. He pays it despite my protests, and we step outside. “So, Megan …”
Oh, no. Please don’t.
“Mm?” I hope I don’t look as worried as I feel. Crap. I’m a terrible person.
“I know you’re not in the right kind of mood tonight, but maybe we could go out again sometime?”
Shit. “Um.” I scratch behind my ear. What’s his name? Double shit. “Look, I’m not sure what Lila told you, but she’s kind of setting me up. It’s not you, I’m sure you’re a lovely guy, but I’m just not looking for anything right now.”
He smiles widely and shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, she mentioned it. It was worth a shot though, right?”
“Uh, sure.” I smile again. “I think I need to go and have a chat with her, actually. Thanks for the meal.”
“You’re welcome.” He waves as he walks away, and I begin the walk back to campus, thinking over what I have to say to Lila.
I know how it will go. She’ll demand to know why I can’t possibly have any more dates, and I’ll make up some floozy excuse that’s about as believable as me saying I’m a Vegas stripper. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to enjoy these dates. It’s not fair on me, Aston, or on the guys I have to go out with.
I jog the final stretch to campus as rain lightly begins to fall. A shiver runs down my spine as yesterday comes back to me. Nothing can compare to the way I felt as Aston pinned me against the hood of his car, kissing me like I’m his one requirement to live.
Maybe that’s why I can’t consider anyone else, why every date Lila sends me on will be futile.
Maybe it’s because when I look at other guys all I see is him.
I shake my hair out as I walk into the dorm room. Lila looks up from her books and grins. “How did it go? I gotta say, I expected you to be back a lot later–”
“This has to stop,” I say bluntly. “This dating thing. I won’t do it anymore.”
“Why? Was he an ass?”
I shrug my jacket off. “No, he was nice. Just like the last one. Shit, they’re all nice, Li. I just don’t care about any of them.”
“Let me guess – they’re not your Mr. Darcy?” She raises an eyebrow, and I throw myself onto the bed.
“Precisely.”
“Let me help you find him.”
“I don’t need your help to find him.”
“Megs, I just want you to find someone who makes you happy.”
“I’m happy!”
“I didn’t say you weren’t but I want you to find your Darcy. I want to help you do that.”
“I don’t need your help!”
“Megs–”
“I’ve already found him!”
Fuckshitohmygod. I slap my hands over my mouth, my eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. Why did I say that? Fuck. Fuck. Now I’ve done it. This is it. Cover blown.
Well done, Megan Harper. You absolute f**king idiot.
Lila’s eyes widen slowly and she drops her pen onto the bed. Her jaw drops open, and I feel like everything is moving in slow motion. Why the hell did I have to say that?!
“What?” she asks. “You found him? Who is he?”
“Um. Did I say that?” I laugh nervously. “Really? Ha. Um. I didn’t. I don’t. Shit.” I fall sideways on the bed and bury my head in my pillow, my heart pumping furiously.
“Nuh-uh!” she exclaims. “You are not saying that and then just flaking on me, Megan Harper!” Her bed springs squeak and she gets up. Her hands wrap around my arm and she yanks me up. I pull the pillow up with me, keeping my face covered, but she tugs it away. I smack my hands over my face.
“Um, I lied?” I try lamely. “To get you to stop?”
“No way! No. Way. I can’t believe you found your Darcy and you didn’t tell me.”
Yeah … “I kinda … Can’t. Tell you.” I drop my hands.