She takes a deep breath, and in the silence, I wonder if she's going to speak. But she does.
“I have the nightmares because I watched her die.”
Fuck.
Chapter Twenty-Five – Maddie
I remember it. I remember it like it was yesterday. Every detail is etched into my mind, and when I let myself remember – like now – it plays out like an old movie strip. The memories are cracked, a little fuzzy in some places, and sometimes the sound goes, but I still remember. I still know. I know it all.
“We'd been out for a girls night. It wasn't anything unusual. Once or twice a month, Mom insisted we had some girl time, and we headed for dinner and a movie, maybe some shopping. It was our time where we caught up on life. We talked boys, music, clothes. Everything.”
“It sounds like you were close.”
“We were.” A small smile graces my lips. “She was my best friend.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Everyone says I look like her, but I don't think so. Mom was beautiful. Sure, we had the same hair and the same green eyes, but she had this inner goodness that radiated out of her. She was always happy and smiling, always ready to lend a hand. She worked at a local youth center with young people addicted who were to drugs or homeless. Sometimes, when I'd go with her to volunteer on a weekend, I'd hear them talking about how amazing she was. She always brightened their day. Everyone loved her.
“But that night...”
We had been to the movies since it had been my choice for that particular girl’s night.
“Let's get some cotton candy,” Mom suggested, spying a vendor across the street.
“That's silly, Mom. It's eleven o'clock! Dad will be up waiting for us.”
“Oh, come on, Maddie Moo. Don't be a spoilsport.” She parked the car across from the vendor. “It'll only take two minutes. Promise.”
I sighed. “Okay, but you're crazy.”
She opened the door, glancing at me over her shoulder, her light, flowery smell seeming to strengthen in her excitement. She grinned, her eyes wide and mischievous, just like a child's. I couldn't help but grin back at her – she had the kind of smile that was infectious. I watched as she left the car and rifled through her purse for some change as she approached the vendor.
Bangs echoed from maybe a block away. Fireworks!
I rolled my window down and stuck my head out – then I heard the scream. Someone was screaming over and over. The bangs were getting louder and tires screeched-
“Maddie get down!” Mom yelled.
I began to shake and sat back in the car, wrenching the seat belt off me. I slid down my seat as the bangs ricocheted off the city buildings around me. I looked for Mom and then...
Bang.
She began to fall.
I screamed.
A car sped past, the bangs finally registering in my brain as gun shots.
I crawled over the seats, reaching for the driver's side door. “Mom! Mom! No, Mom!” I yanked the door open and fell from the car, scrambling to my feet. Gunpowder and smoke filled my nose, the thick smell wrapping around me.
A crowd had gathered, and I pushed my way through, shoving bodies and people away, screaming her name, needing to see her because she had to be okay, she had to be. Mom couldn't leave me because she was always meant to be there, always.
Alwaysalwaysalways.
Braden reaches up and removes my hands from my ears, bringing me back to the here and now.
I can still hear the ringing from the shots in my ears. I can still hear the screams that drowned out the city nightlife. I can still feel the adrenaline as it pumped through my body, the fear as recognition dawned. It's still so real.
“That's where it gets fuzzy. I remember hearing sirens, and I remember being held back. I remember breaking free and shaking Mom to get her to wake up. She didn't. She couldn't. She'd taken a direct hit to her thigh. In the time it took for me to get out of the car and to her, she'd bled out. Alone, on a cold sidewalk in Brooklyn. She'd gone, and I never did anything to save her. I never should have let her leave the car for her stupid cotton candy.”
Fingers swipe under my eyes at the silent tears falling there. Braden moves and crouches in front of me, cupping my face. I look into his eyes, blue eyes, full of sorrow and sympathy.
“You're so strong, Angel,” he says softly. “Not many people would have got through that and still be here today, going on the way you do. You're amazing, you know that, right? I bet if she could see you now, she'd be so, so proud of you.”
I nod silently. He kisses my forehead and kneels down, pulling me into his arms. The gentle sea breeze teases my hair as I curl into him, needing the comfort and safety he can provide me.
I've never told anyone the whole story. Even when Dad forced me to speak with a counselor, I never spoke about it. She was mine. The last memory of her was mine.
But not anymore. I've shared it, in the place she was born and raised.
I brought her home.
~
The guys all huddle in the middle of the yard, all shirtless and glancing over at us flirtatiously. Kay shakes her head and flips them off.
“Fuckin' animals,” she mutters. “Parading round half-naked like they're King of the f**kin' frat.”
I laugh into my hand silently.
“Don't you start laughin' at me, Mads. You and Carter are like the King and Queen of this place, and Lila and Ryan are like the Prince and Princess. Or should that be Princess and Princess?”
“Hey!” Lila chucks a chip at her. “He's a pretty boy, but he's my pretty boy, Baker.”
“Got it, Princess.” Kay winks, and Lila grins at her.
There's something relaxing about having a secure, close friendship with people that can make you laugh. The chat at the beach with Braden is still weighing heavily on my mind, but being here, with these girls, makes it all seem better.
Braden looks over his shoulder at me and grins devilishly. I can't help but smile back, and my stomach flip-flops. Ugh.
“Love is in the air, doo doo doo doo doo doo!” Kay sings, waving her bottle of soda around.
“Get lost.” I chuck a piece of candy at her, and she catches it, shoving it in her mouth.
“Thanks, baby girl.” She winks.
“I like seeing him happy,” Megan says, watching the boys line up to start playing. “I haven't seen him like this in a long time. It's almost gonna be a shame to end it in two weeks, maybe even a few days.” She glances at me.
“You know the rules of the game, Megan,” I reply, picking some grass. “Four weeks. That's all we allowed.”
She stares at me out of the corner of her eye, a knowing gleam that's only meant for me. “If Braden lets you go.”