Two arms grab me, and in my panicked state, I scream. I'm pressed against a hard body and I recognize the woody smell. Braden. My hand not holding my books grips his shirt. I need something to ground me. It's an almost desperate move, but I don't care.
“Sssh,” he whispers. “I've got you. You're okay.”
I close my eyes and breathe deeply as he wraps his arms around me tightly. I bury my face into his chest. Grounding. Centering. I remember the breathing from the yoga classes I did in senior year of high school and chant the instructions in my mind, breathing in deeply, breathing out deeply.
The noise around us dies down, and I realize that I have no idea how long I've been standing in Braden's arms.
“Okay, Angel?” he asks softly.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I think so.”
He runs a hand through my hair, his fingers tugging lightly at knots in my curls. “I didn't mean to scare you a minute ago. You looked like you were about to faint.”
“So you thought you'd come riding in like a knight in shining armor?” That thought is amusing.
“Something like that.” He chuckles. “What's up?”
“Oh, nothing,” I dismiss it and pull back, smiling up at him.
“Don't lie to me, Maddie. I can see in your pretty green eyes that something is bothering you.” He runs his thumb down the side of my face. I fight to keep my eyes open. “Talk to me.”
“It's just my brother.” I look down.
“I remember you saying you don't get along.”
“That's an understatement.” I snort. “He mentioned something about coming here.... And I.... I don't want him to. I don't want him to come here.”
“So tell him.”
“It's not like that. You don't just tell Pearce things.”
“Then what do you do?”
“It doesn't matter.” My eyes flick up to him and back down again. “It doesn't matter.”
Braden cups my chin, forcing my face upwards, but I keep my eyes trained downwards.
“Maddie, look at me.” I shake my head. “Maddie. Please.”
The tenderness in his voice cuts me and I break, looking back up at him. “What?”
“It does matter, okay?” he says softly. “It always matters.”
“No, it doesn't.”
“Why won't you talk to me?”
Because when you're like this, soft and caring, it's hard to remember that I hate you and this is a game. “I just can't talk about it, Braden.”
He sighs. “Why won't you let me in? Let me help you.”
Because you're the first person outside of the girls to actually care about me and show it since the day she died – and caring isn't good for anyone. Not when everything you think you know is a game.
~
“Why?” I look at the roller-skates in front of me. “Why? Why? Why?”
“I bet Megan thinks she's f**king hilarious,” Lila grumbles, looking at the skates with the same disdain I am.
“Why did we even let her organize this?” I mutter.
“I have no idea, but I'm never doing it again.”
“I am so with you there.”
Not only are they roller-skates, they're pink. Flippin' pink.
I do not do pink.
“Come on, you two!” Ryan skates up to us as if he's been doing it his whole life, which he probably has.
“Uhh.” Lila's still frozen in place, staring at the skates.
“Really, babe.” Ryan skates up to her. “It's not that hard.”
“Damn, Ryan,” she huffs. “How many times do you think I've ever skated in Washington? Really?”
“I kinda figured everyone had at some point.” He looks at me. “Don't tell me – you've never skated either, right, Maddie?”
“That would be correct,” I answer, finally looking up from the skates. “It's not really an 'in' thing in Brooklyn, funnily enough.”
“Damn city girls.” He shakes his head.
“Ah, they aren't that bad.” Braden skates backwards down the sidewalk towards us.
“Fucking show-off,” Lila mutters.
“I heard that, Lila.”
“You were supposed to, Braden.”
He stops in front of me. I look up at him. “What?”
“You've actually never skated before?”
“No.” I fold my arms across my chest. “No. Never.”
“Come on.” He takes my hands. “Put them on and try it. I promise its fun. Just try it, once.”
I look at the skates and back to him. He has a pleading, hopeful look on his face. “Will you stop with the puppy dog eyes?”
“Cross my heart.” He crosses his heart.
I sigh and sit down. “Fine.” I grab the skates and after taking my shoes off, I slip my feet in, only to fumble with the confusing buckles afterward.
Braden sighs and shakes his head. “Come here.” He bends down at the waist and tightens them all for me, snapping them into place.
He grabs my hands, hoisting me up, and I squeak as I roll forwards and straight into him. I put my hands on his chest to steady myself, ignoring the heavy pounding of my heart.
“You're fine.” He smirks, amused.
“Yep,” I reply. “I'm fine.”
“Let's go.” He grins and takes my hand, moving back from me.
I look forward and find Ryan pulling Lila along. Her feet are shoulder-width apart, and her legs are shaking. She looks a bit like a newborn foal trying to walk for the first time, and I giggle silently, knowing I probably look the same.
She glances over her shoulder at me and mouths “help me.” I shrug helplessly as Braden moves a little faster and I jolt forwards.
“Okay, slow, slow, slow!” I protest, waving my free arm in the air.
“Oh my god, Maddie,” he groans. “Really?”
“Yes! I've never done this before, ever.” I grunt. “Like, ever, Braden.”
“Fuck this,” Ryan snaps. “Crash course!” He skates around Lila and grips her waist before pushing her along the sidewalk. She screams out loud, and her hands go to where Ryan's are on her waist to steady herself.
“Ryan, you ass**le!” I hear her shout before they disappear from view. I laugh and bend over at the side. Braden lets go of my hand and-
“No, no, no, Braden! Don't you dare!” I try to turn, and I feel his hands on my waist, his breath on my ear.
“Crash course, Angel.”
“No-” My protest turns to a scream as we shoot off down the concrete the way Lila and Ryan did. “Oh my god, oh my god.” I want to shut my eyes but no, that's not a good idea.