Did Maddie just cuss? Holy f**k. She did. Did she get abducted by aliens overnight?
I look between the two girls. Blonde girl is staring daggers at the side of Maddie's head, while she carries on casually picking at her food as if she hadn't just said something completely out of character.
“Maybe you should go.” I nod towards the blonde girl. She gives Maddie one last evil glare and turns back to me, a sweet smile on her face.
“When you're done with her, call me, okay?” She turns and walks away, exaggerating the sway of her hips.
“You have a really bad taste in girls,” Maddie says when blonde girl has disappeared.
Apparently so. “Are you included in that?”
She looks up at her, her previously sad eyes now as cold as ice. This look would freeze hell, I'm sure of it.
“Don't f**k with me, Braden. Not today. I'm not gonna sit here and deal with a bunch of fake-boobed whores coming up to me and telling me how I'm not your 'usual type'.” She snatches her hand from mine and gets up, storming past me.
I lean my head back, sigh, and get up to follow her. Why, oh why, is this so f**king hard?
I follow her out the doors to an area shaded by trees. She's standing there, sunlight glinting off the top of her head where she's not fully under the cover of trees. Her arms are folded over a heaving chest, and she leans against a tree trunk, resting her head back against the rough bark of the trunk.
“Now, Angel,” I say, approaching her. “Why don't you tell me what that was all about?”
“I'm not in the mood to discuss your previous bed-mates, Braden,” she replies, her eyes closed.
“I'm not talking about that.” I move closer to her. “Why don't you tell me where those cuss words came from, because I'm pretty sure I haven't heard you cuss. Ever.”
“A bad day. A slip up. Ignore it.”
“Why would I ignore it?”
“Because I said to.”
“If you're having a bad day, talk to me. It's what I'm here for, right?” I pause. “I said I wanted to be there for you, so let me.”
She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. Her eyes open and that hardened, guarded look is glossing over the bright green I'm getting so accustomed to.
“My life before Berkeley and yours were very, very different. You can't even imagine it, so there's no point in talking. You wouldn't understand.”
“Then help me to.” I put a hand against the trunk, standing in front of her. Her eyes meet mine. “Help me understand. Help me help you.”
She bites her top lip. “Not today,” she whispers. “I just, can't talk right now.”
I slide my hand behind her neck and tug her to me, pressing her body against me. She flattens her hands against my stomach and pushes back.
“No,” I say into her ear. “If you won't talk to me, Maddie, let me hold you. I can do that, at least.”
She freezes, stuck in a state of indecision, before relaxing into me and wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I'm sorry,” she murmurs. “For being a raging bitch.”
“Don't be,” I reply, stroking the back of her head. I saw that in a movie too. “I'm sorry.”
And I am. I just don't know what the hell I'm sorry for.
Chapter Seventeen - Maddie
My brother, currently three thousand miles away, still has the ability to mess my day – and my mood – up. And apparently, the ability to nearly mess up nine days of hard work with Braden.
But, really, who the hell walks up to someone in a college cafeteria and asks to finish what they started? It's vile, and reminds me exactly why I'm doing this. It also reinstates the hate for Braden I lost when he held me the way he did after my outburst.
I sigh, and my thoughts return to Pearce. Anger bubbles inside me, and I have the crazy urge to chuck my phone clear out of my dorm window. It would be so, so satisfying to see it smash into a million pieces on the sidewalk. Or, of course, I could just get a new number. That's probably the better idea, but nowhere near as invigorating.
I'm not surprised he's contacted me so soon after last time. I figured he wanted the money for rent, but I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.
There's one big difference between Pearce and Braden that I have to acknowledge. That difference would be in the form of illegal drugs.
Pearce turned to it when Mom was killed. It was his “escape.” There's nothing wrong with wanting an escape, but when that escape gives you a bigger down after, you have a problem. My darling brother solved that by getting more of the escape.
And this time he's run up a bill so bad that the eight hundred dollars already transferred from my bank doesn't even cover half of it.
Naturally, he told whoever he gets it from he'd get the money, assuming I'd hand it over like I always do, but this time I said no. I told him I wasn't going to bail him out anymore, and he went crazy.
His text message yesterday morning was informing me he was making arrangements to be here, and I should expect to see him next week sometime.
I click my tongue. Two different lives merging. Everyone here knows I have an older brother back in Brooklyn but they don't know the details. Besides Kay, Megan and Lila, only Braden knows about Mom being killed. No one never asked, and I've never felt like offering up that information.
But Pearce, here? The idea scares me, because I know what he's like. After all, didn't I watch him dominate, control and drive my best friend to attempted suicide, all because of his drug addiction and inferiority complex?
“Argh!” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands, digging them in as if it can pull away the memories of last year. I should be so lucky.
The bright colors of our Operation Play the Player poster catch my eye. Day ten, and I'm even more determined than ever to see this through. For what feels like the hundredth time in two days, I build a wall around my heart.
Despite everything bad, Megan was right. Braden is caring, sweet, and thoughtful. He does have a heart, somewhere, at least.
But, so did Pearce before he ripped out Abbi's heart.
~
I walk across the lawn towards Braden's frat house. We haven't really spoken since my outburst in the cafeteria yesterday, so I know I need to 'patch things up' for the sake of the plan. All I really want to do is run away and hide somewhere Pearce can't find me.
Lila lets me in at the door. “He's out the back, come on.”
I smile gratefully at her, but I still sigh.
“Hey.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders. “It'll be okay. Even if he does show, we'll all be there. Promise. You won't be alone.”
“I know.” I drop my eyes to the ground as she opens the door.