Leila grunts in response, and I snatch the controller up and turn off the television.
“No! No! No! Dutty! No!” Mila screeches, waving her arms frantically. “Noooo!”
I cover my eyes with my hand briefly. “Baby girl, you can dance later, okay?”
“No! Dutty now! Noooow!”
Leila coughs. My head snaps around to her, and the second our eyes meet, I know she’s just gotten the confirmation she was looking for. I take a deep breath and shake my head, telling her no, we’re still not talking, and grab Mila’s dolly.
“Come on. Into the stroller.”
She goes, screaming about “Dutty now! Dutty now, Mama!” I strap her in and do a quick check of her bag to make sure I have everything I need.
Leila follows us out of the door and I lock it behind us. The sun is getting hot above us, a beacon of brightness in a clear blue sky. For the first time in a long time, the view is unencumbered by skyscrapers and high-rises. It’s pure and free and completely beautiful.
I breathe in the sea air wafting toward us as we walk. Mila babbles to herself in the stroller, her words made up of completely random noises. I glance at the top of her dark head and smile.
“So. Where’d you go?” Leila asks after a few minutes.
“Charlotte,” I reply, flicking the foam on the stroller handle with my thumb.
“Really? You left the damn state?”
I shrug a shoulder. “I needed to go. It was the first place I thought of.”
“You mean the first place that was close enough to your dad but far enough away from here.”
Dammit. “Pretty much.”
Leila sighs. “I wish you’d tell me everything.”
“I wish I could,” I say softly, honestly. “But I can’t. Other people need to know first.”
“You mean my brother needs to know.”
“Take it how you want. I’m not saying anything to anyone.”
“He came to your place last night, didn’t he? Why didn’t you tell him then?”
I shoot her a sideways look. “What if there’s nothing to tell, hmm? What if she isn’t Conner’s?”
Leila snorts. “Right. Because she doesn’t look exactly like him or anything, and you absolutely don’t clam up whenever I mention his name.”
She opens the park gate, and I walk through, parking the stroller by a bench and letting Mila out. She giggles with the freedom of exploring a new place. I sit on the bench, hooking one of my legs over the other.
“It’s not as simple as you think, Lei. I wish it was. I wish I could sit here and tell you everything that’s happened since I found out I was having her, but I can’t. You need to get it out of your head that you’re entitled to know it first, because you ain’t. He needs to know.”
“He being Conner.”
“Dammit, Lei, can you stop, please?” I sigh, my eyes flitting toward her. “You ain’t foolin’ me with this little-sister act. I know you really want to know for yourself.”
“Shit. Okay. I do.” She holds her hands up. “I’ll lay off you . . . for a while. Let’s change the subject before you snap my head off.”
“To what?” I ask, watching Mila as she tries to climb up the slide and fails.
“Remember that crush I had on Calum Peterson? Yeah. Waste of four months.” She sighs and leans back.
“No way. You went there?”
“I went there and wish I didn’t. But the bros don’t know, so keep it to yourself.”
I smile and tilt my face toward her. “While the cats’re away, the mouse will play, right?”
“Never mind playing. The mouse’ll throw a fucking party.” Leila winks. “If only she was playing with something worth her time.”
A laugh bubbles up in my throat. I cover my mouth with my hand as it threatens to spill over, but I can’t fight the grin stretching across my face.
Leila Burke lives by the rule “call it like you see it.”’ It’s a blessing and a curse.
“Well, if I wasn’t attracted to him before, I’m definitely not now.” I giggle.
She sighs heavily. “The real problem? He’s ripped as fuck now, and I feel sorry for all the girls expecting him to be huge. It’s not as impressive as his abs, that’s for sure.”
“Well, that’s what you get for being shallow.” I watch as Mila slides down the slide on her tummy. “Mila, baby? Try climbing the stairs, okay?”
She looks at me, wide-eyed at having been caught, and nods enthusiastically.
“And maybe leave Dolly with Mama?”
“’Kay.” She toddles over, passes me Dolly, then runs back to the slide.
At least it’s quiet here. My guess is everyone’s at the beach, soaking up the rays on the sand, leaving the park deserted apart from us.
“Have you met anyone since you went to Charlotte?” Leila asks.
“No,” I say softly.
She laughs, but it’s followed up by a sigh. “Man, I wish I could just shove you and Conner in a room. Let y’all get it all out, then move on. He’s been a miserable bastard since you left.”
I pick at the hair on Mila’s dolly. “I never wanted to, y’know? I never wanted to leave him. I never wanted to hurt him the way I did, but I had to. It was either hurt him emotionally or ruin his dream. I couldn’t do the latter, Lei. I couldn’t ruin everything he wanted.”
Silence passes between us, the tension growing, both of our gazes fixed on the two-foot toddler navigating the slide.
“You sayin’ what I think you are?”
“I’m saying what I want to.” I turn my head to her and tuck my hair behind my ear. “It doesn’t matter if Mila is his or not. Either way I would have hurt him, someway, somehow. I had to choose what I did. I had to run and let him follow his dreams.” My eyes travel to Mila. “I couldn’t be the person that ruined everything for him.”
“You think you’re foolin’ me, Sofie Callahan, but you ain’t. Y’all can avoid it as much as you like, but twenty-four hours since he got back and you’re breaking. I know who Mila belongs to,” she whispers the final sentence. “And I’m telling you, Sof, the second he sees her, he will, too.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, each exhale shuddery. “Then I guess my time is pretty much up.”
“Yeah,” Leila says slowly. “He’s got your number.”