“No. Of course not.” He stroked my hair. “I was just saying that you can tell me anything. Don’t sugarcoat it if you didn’t enjoy it. I want to give you pleasure. Make you happy.”
“You do.” I wrapped my leg over his, wanting him closer to me. “I’ve just never been in love before.”
“Neither have I,” he said hoarsely.
That he meant it was something I didn’t doubt. I studied the outline of his lips, ran my fingertips down his arm. “I feel… wrapped in it. Does that make sense?”
“Perfect sense.” He lay back down and pulled my hip over so we were snug up against each other.
I’d never slept naked before but I didn’t want to cover back up. I wanted the moment to last indefinitely. Devin pulled the condom off and tossed it on a tissue on the nightstand. He tucked the comforter over me.
“Is Amelia okay?” I asked, glancing over at the dog.
“Are you kidding? She’s snoring.”
When I paused to listen, I realized he was right. She was softly snuffling in the corner. “She needs a dog bed in here too.”
He kissed my forehead. “Order one online for her if you want, beautiful. Or we can get one next time we’re in town.”
It all seemed so normal then. Like everything would be the way Devin and I had already been living, only now knowing that he loved me. If I had been happy before, then I would living in perfection now.
Our house, our dog, our love. Our lives.
Perfect. Together.
I drifted off to sleep in Devin’s arms, never anticipating it would be the only time.
Chapter Twelve
A hard knock on the door had me jerking awake. For a second, I was confused why there was a heavy weight on my stomach, but I realized it was Devin’s hand resting there. My heart was racing from being jerked out of sleep and I turned my head towards him, checking to see if he was awake. Maybe I had dreamed there was a knocking.
He breathed deeply through his nose, his eyes fluttering open. “What the hell was that?” he mumbled.
The knock came again, confirming it was real. “Someone’s at the door,” I said, stating the obvious. “I can’t answer it. I’m naked.”
“What do you want?” Devin called loudly. Shifting a little he kissed my shoulder.
Feeling exposed, I pulled the comforter up tighter over me, even though there was no way anyone could just walk in. Devin had locked the door. Scrambling for my phone, I squinted to see what time it was. Six am. This wasn’t exactly the romantic morning after I would have hoped for, but I did like the feel of Devin’s body alongside mine.
“It’s Lizzie.”
Wonderful. I looked at Devin in question.
He just shrugged and gave a pronounced sigh. “What do you need?”
“Cass OD’d. Sam just called for an ambulance.”
“Shit.” Devin sat up quickly. “Are they on their way?” he called back to her. “Is she still breathing?”
“Yes and yes.” Lizzie’s voice had lost the attitude of the night before. She sounded tired, sad.
I sat up myself, horrified. I should have mentioned to Devin that Cassandra had seemed off. She’d been beyond drunk. Devin was already pulling on pants without any underwear. “What hospital would they take her to?” he asked me.
“Good Samaritan is the only one in town,” I said, scrambling out of bed.
He waited until I reached the bathroom and slipped inside then I heard him open the bedroom door and head out into the hallway, his voice muffled as he spoke to Lizzie.
I winced at the bright light and hurried up with my business, aware of how tender I was down south. Washing my hands, I paused briefly to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t look any different. Funny that even though it was ridiculous that I would, I still expected some sort of visible change to my features. Or an older and wiser expression. A member of the club.
But no. I still looked like me. For the most part, I felt like me.
Hurrying, I went back in the bedroom and got dressed. When I made my way to the kitchen, I saw Devin pulling on his T-shirt and stuffing his feet into his shoes. “I’m going to the hospital. Do you mind staying here with everyone else?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t mind.” I didn’t want to go back to that hospital anyway. It was where my grandmother had just died and I didn’t think I could face those hallways, the nursing staff.
Lizzie was hugging herself, wearing nothing but a tight T-shirt that said Fuck Off and a pair of pink panties. Sapphire and Jay were sitting on the couch, talking quietly, Sapphire in a big fluffy robe, Jay’s arm around her. Lizzie’s boyfriend wasn’t around. “Where’s your boyfriend?” I asked her.
“Sleeping.”
Nice.
Devin put his coat off and came over to me and squeezed my hand. “I’ll call or text as soon as I know anything.” Then he turned to the others. “No social media. No one say a goddamn word to anyone until we can do damage control. I have a call in to PR already.”
There were half-hearted nods.
That would have never occurred to me. Damage control. As if ingesting enough drugs to overdose wasn’t damaging enough, there were careers, livelihoods at stake. Their minds were always on the spin, and that was a world I didn’t understand. Though I figured everyone did the same thing, just on a smaller level. Most people didn’t want to advertise their addictions and problems.
But it still made me sad. All of it made me sad. Cassandra was beautiful and talented. Successful, wealthy. Why did she need to seek escape? I wasn’t judging her, I just felt bad for her.
Devin left through the garage and I stood there, not sure what to say or do. Suddenly Lizzie made gagging sounds and ran to the kitchen sink and threw up, hair falling into her face. I went up next to her and pulled her hair back off her face, rubbing her back. “It’s okay,” I murmured. “Cassandra will be fine.”
Lizzie stood back up, but she clung to the sink rim, eyes watery. With the back of her wrist she wiped her mouth. “I’m f**king hungover. And I feel guilty as f**k. I brought that heroin. It was from Kadence when I saw her a few weeks back and I don’t use. But I knew Cass does and it was meant to be a New Year’s gift to her.” She looked at me and gave a harsh laugh. “I gave her a gift that could have killed her. What the f**k is wrong with me?”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I just tore a paper towel off the roll and got it wet. Sapphire had come in and she folded her arms over her chest.