“Not unless you want to.” He held his hand out to help me on to my feet. “I’d prefer to spend it alone with you.”
I rose. “I’d like that.” I suddenly felt shy, eyes darting to the floor. I didn’t know how to be Devin’s girlfriend. Was that what I was? I wasn’t even sure.
He touched my chin and tilted my head up. “Hey,” he said softly. “Marry me.”
The world actually tilted. I swore for a second everything, sound, time, came to a screeching halt and tipped the World As I Knew It. “What?” I whispered. “Are you serious?”
“I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t serious.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “We already know we can live together without conflict. I don’t want this to be casual. I want to know that you’re committed to me. To us.”
I had already committed my heart to him. There were so few people I was truly drawn to, that I opened myself up to. I had shared my genuine emotions with Devin, allowed him to see my fears and insecurities. I was committed to him. To us. Without question, with or without marriage. That he wanted me the same way I wanted him astonished and humbled me.
My choices were limited. His were boundless.
Yet he was choosing me. Of all the women he could be with, he wanted me.
“Is that really what you want?” I asked, quietly, giving him an opportunity to change his mind. “People will talk, you know. They’ll say things about our age difference, give you a hard time. They’ll say you’re slumming.” And worse.
He nodded. “It is very much what I want. I want to call you my wife. You have more maturity than women twice your age, and people will talk no matter what, so whatever. I can handle the gossip.”
Then I wasn’t going to worry about it. I had been the subject of gossip my whole life. People had trashed my mother. Trashed my father. Trashed me. Let the gossip bloggers call me ugly and a gold digger. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before and what did I care? I knew who and what I was. I put my arms around him.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes. I will marry you,” I said simply. “After your divorce, of course.”
He laughed softly and kissed my temple, his lips brushing over my skin. “I’ll double the lawyer’s fee to get him moving. You’ve made me very happy. And just so you know, I’m sneaking into your room later after everyone else is asleep.”
I laughed, an expression of the pure joy I felt. “You are not.”
“Uh, yes, I am. I’m not going to be denied the feeling of sleeping with you in my arms for the first time.”
A shiver of excited anticipation ran up my spine. The idea of being able to slide up next to Devin in bed and rest my head on his chest, without any questions or awkwardness, sounded like perfection. “If you insist,” I said.
“I do. Now are you coming back out there?”
I nodded. “Kiss me, Devin. One more time.”
He bent his head, amber eyes darkening. “I love hearing my name on your lips. My real name.”
“Devin,” I whispered.
“Tiffany,” he murmured. “My heart belongs to you.”
I didn’t expect our absence to go unremarked on, and it didn’t. As soon as we reappeared, Lizzie stopped sucking on an olive suggestively and stared at Devin’s hand on the small of my back. She said, “Oh, my God, what was that all about? Were you seriously caring a dead person’s ashes in that grocery bag? WTF.”
“Lizzie,” Devin reprimanded. “Show a little f**king sympathy.”
But this was only the beginning. I knew that. The sign of things to come. Everyone was going to have something nasty to say to me once they realized that the plain loser girl from Maine had scored Devin. But I was so high on his love that I didn’t even care. Let them hate.
“Have you ever lost someone you care about?” I asked Lizzie, slipping onto a stool at the island where she leaning. “A parent or grandparent? A friend who died?”
For a second she looked caught off guard, but then she turned mulish. “Of course. Everyone has.”
“So you get that it’s a little hard to let go after only five days.”
“Whatever.”
Jay, who had never spoken to me, shook his head. “Lizzie, sometimes you’re just a bitch, you know that?”
“Fuck you,” was her response to that. “So what’s the deal with you two?” she asked then, gesturing between Devin and me. “G, is this seriously your new little f**k buddy? Pedo alert.”
“You’re the one dressed like a twelve year old hooker,” he told her. “And you need to either keep your opinions to yourself or take yourself back to the city because I’m not going to listen to you insult Tiffany.”
“Rawr,” she said, making mocking clawing motions. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were so attached to your new toy.”
“Liz, come on,” her boyfriend said, taking her hand and tugging her away from the island. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“Why?”
“To keep you out of trouble.” He gave her a smile and smacked her backside. “And to get a little action. Come on, baby.”
I wasn’t sure if he was doing it out of kindness or if he really did just want to have sex, but he managed to lure her away and up the stairs, Lizzie laughing as they went. With her gone, the tension in the room disappeared. No one else asked any questions, and I sat there, sipping a soft drink and listening to their conversation about business, fighting the urge to grin. I heard the chatting in the kitchen, but I was mostly focused on my own thoughts, on Devin’s words in my room. He loved me. That was all that mattered.
Sapphire sat down next to me and gave me a smile. “Don’t worry about Lizzie,” she told me. “She just hates when she’s not the center of attention. It’s a common personality trait in this industry. Most of us are attention whores.”
I smiled back, grateful that she was making an effort to talk to me. “It’s okay. I understand that everyone is wondering why a nobody is at their party.”
“Girl, don’t downplay yourself like that. Everyone is somebody.” She studied me. “But be careful, okay? Men like G, they’re used to getting what they want. Doesn’t mean they’re not good men. But no one tells them no.”
While the warning was clearly well meant, I didn’t want to hear it. Not right then. Not when I just wanted to wrap Devin’s words around me like a warm blanket and hold them to me. “I don’t plan to tell him no,” I said, quite simply.