He had the horrible feeling he was about to get served one of them.
“Thank you,” she said.
Ouch. She slammed number three over the net right into his face. It felt just about as good as a real tennis ball to the nose would. He felt smacked, stung, stupid.
“That’s sweet of you, and I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. Honestly.”
Did she think he was professing love to make her feel better? Jesus. He’d told her for purely selfish reasons because he wanted her to smile, say she felt the same way, and agree to move in with him. If he had just wanted to make her feel better, he’d have sent her flowers and gotten her drunk. And it had never occurred to him that anyone would think his love was some sort of balm to any wound.
Take my heart, it’s like Neosporin.
At times in life there were no words. Or at least not any that Jack could think of.
So he just went with instinct. Moving in front of the door where they were still hovering, Jack shook his head. “No thanks necessary.”
Then when her mouth opened to protest, he closed the space between them at the speed of sound and took her lips in a demanding kiss.
The plan was to catch her off guard and stun her into forgetting she wanted to leave. The stunned part seemed to be working, but that was all. Jamie’s lips were slack beneath his, and he had the feeling her eyes were wide open, though he wasn’t going to look for confirmation.
This required a step two. Wrapping his arms around her, Jack molded her lush body to his, chest to chest, thigh to thigh, letting his thumbs brush across her lower back as he eased up on her lips. Kissed her softly, gently, his mouth caressing hers.
Better response. She gave a small sigh and kissed him back. Her hands didn’t go so far as to encircle his neck, but she made it to his shoulders, which was good enough for him. He had missed her. One night, or one morning, actually, and he’d ached every day since for her.
After worshipping her mouth for a few minutes, he felt the shift in her response, felt her leaning closer to him, felt her kisses change from accepting to questing.
He buried his hands in her hair, his body tight, her mouth soft and giving as they moved from tentative to lustful.
“I love you,” he murmured against her mouth, wanting her to understand, to acknowledge he meant the words. And maybe it would inspire some more gratitude, this time in the form of her hand on his fly.
She tried to break away from him.
He wasn’t having any of that. He bent half over and scooped her up into his arms, one arm firmly under her backside.
Jamie let out a startled shriek. “What are you doing?”
“I’m being Rhett Butler, but without the moustache. You know, from your favorite movie.”
“I’m no Scarlett,” she said, though she did crack a smile. “And you said that movie is overdramatic and displays male-female relations in a negative light.”
“Han Solo and Princess Leia?”
She shook her head, and tried to put her feet on the ground. “I’m more like Luke than Leia.”
Jack let her get down, but he nudged her up against the wall and trapped her with his arms. “You’re a man?”
Laughing, she shoved against his chest. “No. I’m whiny.”
Jack couldn’t believe that. He took a risk, knowing it was a big one. “Maybe in the beginning Luke was whiny with that whole Uncle Owen, I want to fly thing, but there has never been anything whiny about you. And in the end, Luke thought more about other people than himself. You’re like that, Jamie. And your father is not Darth Vader.”
Her eyes widened. “Darth Vader…God, that’s ironic.”
“What do you mean?” He was just using a movie reference to dance lightly around a sensitive issue.
“Nothing. And please don’t say you love me…you can’t. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I don’t even understand you.”
“I do know you.” Jack let his hands drop away from her. He was no longer feeling like Rhett. “Being with you, talking to you, getting to know you, you’ve changed the very foundation of my life, Jamie Peters. You showed me what’s important. That when I concentrate on other people and their happiness, instead of myself, my life makes sense.”
She skirted out past him, careful not to brush against him. “I’m glad if you feel like I’ve had a positive effect on your life. But truthfully, I’m sure generosity was there in you the whole time.”
“Maybe it was, but I certainly wasn’t using it.” When he reached for her again she moved right up to his front door. Why the hell was he always reaching for her and she was always pulling away? That was starting to irritate him. “Why won’t you let me love you?”
“I don’t trust you,” she said.
Well. That pissed him off. “Don’t trust me? Or don’t trust yourself? Look, you said you have a bad track record with men. But all those losers, and whatever went down between you and your father, it has nothing to do with me. Nothing.”
Her face leeched of all its color. “Maybe Beckwith’s prediction was right. I was destined to meet you.”
That sounded about right to him. So why did she look as if she’d eaten bad fish?
“You found a new career direction. I found my father and my conviction that I am happy with my life the way it is.”
“Uhh…” Shit, he had nothing left to throw out there. He was a pitcher about to be yanked from the game.
“I’m not interested in a relationship right now.”
Whoa. Dude. The ultimate brush-off. This was almost worse than the thank-you after his love confession.
No. Nothing was as bad as that.
But nonetheless, this pretty much sucked, too.
Jamie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax so she could survive this ordeal.
“You look like hell,” Allison whispered to her from the chair next to her.
She knew that without Allison pointing it out to her. “Thanks a lot.”
Her eyes remained closed as she swished her feet around in the warm tub of water. They were lined up all in a row, all three roommates, soaking their feet in a midtown salon, the morning before Caroline’s wedding.
“Maybe you should call him or something,” Allison whispered.
Jamie nearly groaned with confusion and longing. How could she explain to Allison that she wanted nothing more than to call Jack and accept his offer of love, his promise of a future. But she couldn’t do that. Jack wasn’t who she had thought he was.