“Murphy,” I said again.
“He got adopted.”
I swayed a little on my feet and reached out to steady myself against the wall.
“Rimmel.” Michelle came forward.
I held out my hand, palm out, to stop her. “When?”
“Just the other day.” She seemed distressed.
She should be. Someone should have told me. Someone should have said something. He was my cat.
And now he was gone.
“Rimmel, honey, I thought you knew when a good home found him, he would go. We couldn’t keep him here until you graduated.”
I knew that. I did. It was logical.
I wasn’t feeling very logical right now.
Tears burned my eyes and my throat hurt from the effort to swallow. “I understand,” I said, my voice hoarse. I looked up at her. “He went to a good home?”
“Oh yes, he did.”
I nodded. “I just remembered something I have to do on campus. I can’t stay.” I didn’t wait for her to say anything. Once I was out in the main room by myself. I rushed toward the door and threw it open.
The cold air wrapped around me, but I ignored it. For once, I didn’t feel its sting. Everything had been fine before. Life was good… It was steady.
And then I met Romeo.
I fell for his sparkling eyes and easy smile.
I made a couple friends and I started to build a life, a life I wanted. A life I liked.
And then it all changed. I let it all be ripped away.
Yes, I still had Ivy and Missy, but if I were honest with myself, I would admit I was afraid once they realized Romeo wasn’t coming back, they wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore.
Romeo was gone.
Murphy was gone.
I leaned against the brick of the building and lowered my head until it almost touched my chest. Silent, fat tears dripped from my eyes and fell against my shirt.
It hurt. It hurt more than I remembered it could, more than I ever thought it would. This wasn’t the first time I’d been used. At least this time I was older, wiser, and I had my life together. So why, why did it feel so much worse?
Because I loved him.
Because he hadn’t used me. Not really. Maybe at first he set out to, but then it changed. We both changed.
And now we were both being punished.
I cried harder, deep, low sobs ripping from my throat. I sagged against the building because I didn’t know where else to go.
Familiar strong arms found their way around me and eased me away from the wall. I was pulled against a wide, solid chest that radiated warmth. I knew who it was. I would know the feel of him anywhere.
I stiffened and my tears paused.
He put his hand against the back of my head and tucked my face farther into his chest. Something broke inside me.
I started crying again, harder this time, as my arms wound around his waist. He was the only one I could show how vulnerable I felt right now. He was the only one I wanted. He was the reason I was crying, but he was here. He’d come here because maybe he knew just how bad I hurt.
I pulled back and his thumbs brushed the tears off my face. I sniffled and he tilted my head up, gripping it firmly between his palms.
His sapphire eyes burned into mine.
I saw.
I saw he really did know. He knew exactly how I felt because it was mirrored back at me in his gaze.
Still holding my face, he claimed my mouth. He kissed me slowly, keeping his lips firmly on mine. Emotion so intense swirled around us that more tears leaked from my eyes and mixed with our kiss.
“Please,” he said, hoarse, his lips still against mine. “Just talk to me. Please.”
I was too weak in that moment to tell him no. I nodded. He kissed me again before tucking me into his side and depositing me into his car parked at the curb.
We drove in silence to his place. I stared out the window and didn’t look at him once. I wanted so desperately to reach out and touch him. To link our fingers together, to feel his heat. I denied myself because I didn’t know what was to come. He already owned too much of me. How could I give him more?
I waited behind him as he unlocked the door. When it was open, he gestured for me to go in first. I walked past him stiffly, avoiding any kind of accidental touch.
Sunlight poured through the blinds. It was bright and inviting and it made me hurt more. I bypassed the living room and went toward the kitchen, hoping it wouldn’t be so damn sunny and cheerful.
When I passed by the couch, my eyes went ahead of me to the kitchen island.
My feet stuttered.
I stopped and stared.
I blinked and stared again.
Romeo was standing just behind me, and I glanced around with a question in my eyes. He smiled.
Fresh tears welled as I surged forward toward the black, one-eyed cat sitting on the island, swishing his tail back and forth. “Murphy.” I choked and scooped him up and against my chest. I buried my face in his silky fur as he started to purr.
I carried him to the couch and sat down. He curled up in my lap like he knew that was where he belonged.
“You adopted him,” I said when Romeo sat on the coffee table in front of me.
“You love him,” he said simply. Like that was all he needed to know.
“But you’ll have to take care of him. Feed him. Give him water. Change the litter box.”
“Thought maybe you’d want to help.”
I looked up. Our eyes locked.
“What if I say no?” I asked. “What happens to Murphy then?”
He shrugged. “He’s a cool cat. I’ll keep him. He can watch football with me on Sundays.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the image that cast in my head.
“You’d really do that?” I whispered.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Yes.” Then his stoic eyes turned playful and his smile came out. “You wanna watch football with me on Sundays too?”
I sighed heavily and sat Murphy aside. “It’s not that simple,” I said, getting up and pacing the room.
“Why?”
I faltered.
“Because I used you?” he said, standing. “I didn’t. Not really. The second I got to know you, the second I started having real feelings for you, I made a choice. It might have taken me a while to really admit that choice and to act on it, but it was made.”
I stared at him, at the way his muscles moved when he talked.
“I’m not in the frat, Rimmel. I told them to shove it. I never took a picture of us in bed together, which they wanted. Hell, as far as everyone knows, we’ve never had sex. I’ve been loyal to you. I still want you.”