“Baby,” I murmured, gathering her closer. Her hand curled around my bicep, and this fierce possessive feeling ripped through my chest. It was dangerous how strong the urge was to protect her from everything.
“I don’t remember what happened much for a couple weeks after that. There was a funeral and an investigation. My dad had the pool destroyed and filled in with dirt. My grandmother stayed with us for a while, but eventually she had to get back to her job, my grandpa.”
“I’m sure it was very hard for your entire family.”
“Yeah, and I didn’t make it any easier.”
“You were a kid.” I defended.
“After about a year of nothing but grief, life kind of had to go on. At least that’s what it felt like. I was so angry I was expected to just go on and leave Mom in the past. My dad worked full time. He worked a lot to cover the bills and I think because it helped him deal. But it left me sort of on my own. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother on the weekends, but after school, I was alone until he came home.”
I didn’t know what to say so I just continued to hold her and listen. I never expected any of this. I would have never known by looking at her what kind of pain she’d had to endure.
“I started rebelling. I was only twelve, but I acted a lot older. I started wearing all this makeup and obsessing over my hair. I’d cut my shorts super short.” She took a deep breath. I felt her lungs expand against my chest. “My dad didn’t know what to do. I mean, I was a teenage girl who was acting out. I had a lot of anger and rage. We fought all the time. He would throw out my skimpy clothes and refused to buy me makeup. I’d find ways to get it anyway, and I’d hide it. I’d wait ‘til he left and put it all on.”
“You were so young,” I murmured.
“Too young to realize what I was doing would affect me for years to come.” Rimmel agreed. “I felt incredibly alone. There was this hole where my mom used to be, and my dad just kind of disappeared. I think part of me wanted his attention and that was how I got it. There were these older kids that lived down the block from me… a couple guys and a girl. They used to hang out all the time, so I started hanging out with them too.”
My stomach tightened. I knew where this was going.
“One of the guys was interested in me. He gave me a lot of attention. Made me feel good. Less alone.”
“You slept with him,” I said. I just wanted to get it out there. I wanted to get it over with.
“Yeah, I did. He pressured me, and I gave in. He said he loved me.” The hurt in her voice made me pissed all over again. “He didn’t force me. I was thirteen and I gave him my virginity.”
“How old was he?” I asked. I had to know.
“Seventeen.”
I swore under my breath. That kid knew better. He damn well knew better.
“Afterward, he totally ignored me. I was confused and didn’t understand why. I mean, they had been my friends and he was my boyfriend. Then they all just stopped talking to me. They avoided me and refused to hang out. Basically, he used me. He was nice and friendly. He said the things I wanted to hear so he could sleep with me. Once I gave him that part of myself, he turned his back. He didn’t want anything to do with me.”
How was I supposed to act here? What was I supposed to say? Because what I really wanted to do was yell and punch something, to pound down a couple of beers to dull the ache I felt for her. But that was selfish. She didn’t need that. She’d opened herself up to me, let me in.
“After that, I stopped dressing slutty and wearing makeup. I started covering up and keeping to myself. I was ashamed. Once I stopped acting out, my dad and my relationship got a lot better. He started coming home before dinner, and we settled into a normal life. I studied all the time and spent a lot of time volunteering at the local shelter. I knew I wanted to become a vet, and because I studied so much and had good grades, I got a scholarship to Alpha. My dad didn’t want me to move this far away, but this was the only free ride I was offered and I didn’t want to saddle him with my college bills. Besides, part of me wanted to leave. I just wanted to get away.”
It explained so much about her. Before, I only had half a portrait of her, but her words painted the rest.
Rimmel hit rock bottom at an age no person should. What was even more remarkable was she bounced back, and she did it so well.
“I need to kiss you,” I whispered and dragged her up so she was lying across my chest. She yielded to me without the slightest hesitation.
I kissed her slowly and thoroughly until my body began to ache for more. When I looked into her eyes, they were fuzzy and unfocused. I pulled the glasses off her face and brushed another kiss across her lips. “How sore are you?” I rasped.
“Never too sore for you,” she replied.
I rolled on top of her, clasped each of her hands in mine, and lifted them above our heads.
Then I made love to her with all the tenderness she deserved.
Chapter Thirty-One
Rimmel
I found something to like as a result of this cold autumn air. Warm apple cider. A vendor was selling it in the bleachers as the Wolves played down on the field.
A tall paper cup with a plastic lid was snug in my hands, and the sweet, spicy aroma wafted up through the open sipping portion and tickled my nose. I didn’t think I would like it, but my fingers and nose were so cold I bought it just for the warmth.
The second the cinnamon sweet liquid burst over my tongue, I was in love. It was sort of like apple juice but better. It was thicker and had more of a bite because of whatever spices they mixed in. I took my time sipping it, enjoying the pleasure of being warmed from the inside out.
Beside me, Ivy was drinking hot chocolate and Missy had cider also. I was wrapped up in Romeo’s hoodie, showing my support just like he wanted. Just recalling the way his sapphire eyes deepened when I stepped out with my lone pair of skinny jeans, boots, and his hoodie made my stomach summersault.
I knew it was possessive and probably some form of chauvinism that he wanted his name plastered across my back, but I didn’t care. I liked it. I liked being claimed by Romeo.
The full crowd around us cheered and yelled, and I focused back on the field, my eyes going right to number twenty-four as he threw the ball and sent it spiraling down the turf. One of the other guys on his team snatched it out of the air, dodged a defender, and ran all the way to the end zone.
Everyone went crazy and jumped to their feet. People were chanting Romeo’s name and the guys on the field celebrated the touchdown.