“China threatened to kill you. I told her that if she left you alone that I would go back to searching. For a while that worked, and I thought she had forgotten about you, but she hadn’t. One night she killed someone, completely ripped them to shreds, and it made me sick. I told her how disgusting I thought she was, and I refused to help her hide the body. That’s the night she attacked you. The night you can’t remember.”
“Why didn’t she just kill me?”
She said the words almost as if she were talking to herself. So I didn’t bother to answer. I didn’t want to rouse her memory of the attack because I didn’t want to give China any other reason to come after her.
A lonely tear slid down her cheek, and she glanced at where my hands gripped her. I let go and put some distance between us once more.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. An apology was not enough, nothing would ever be enough but I was out of words. How did you make up for practically robbing someone of their life?
“For a few months after your attack she left you alone,” I explained. “I did everything she asked, and I only watched you when I was sure she was out of town. She came home early from one of her trips and caught me following you again,” I said, pushing my hands through my hair and shoved away from the wall. I had to move. I was edgy and tired of trying to find ways to make her understand. “She’s crazy! She became convinced that I was going to tell you about us, about what we are. She said that you would tell – that we would get locked up. I enrolled at school to keep a closer eye on you; I didn’t like leaving you unprotected for so many hours in the day.”
“Just during the day?” she asked.
I felt a fine blush spread over my cheeks as I nodded. “I watch your house at night. To keep you safe.”
“All this time I thought I was crazy,” she murmured to herself.
“Why?”
“Because I always felt like I was being watched. I always sensed that something was there, in the shadows watching me.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way. I never meant to scare you.” I said.
“Just like you never meant to lie?”
“I lied to protect you. I thought I would be able to kill China before now.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“She’s strong and whenever I manage to get the upper hand, something always manages to get in the way.”
“So that’s it then? She’s going to keep coming at me until I’m dead?”
“No! I won’t let that happen.” I rushed to her side and sank down on the bed next to her. “That’s the reason I can’t let you leave, and why I can’t stay away.”
“Please,” I whispered. “I want to go home.”
“Okay. I’ll take you.” The truth was out now, and I couldn’t keep her here. She wouldn’t want me around but that was okay; I could protect her from afar, and I would.
She didn’t refuse the ride, and I took that as a good sign. With a ballroom full of people downstairs she could have asked anyone for a ride. But she didn’t. Maybe there was a chance for us after all.
The drive to her house was quiet and sad. I had hoped this night would be so different. I thought it would be the beginning for me and Heven – not the end. I thought that finally, tonight, she would confess her love. I was naive to think that she would love me at all.
When I pulled into the driveway, I shut off the engine and turned to face her. “Want me to explain to your mother why you’re late? I can make something up.”
“No. I’ll do it,” she said, reaching for the handle.
“If you want to talk you can call me anytime.”
She wasn’t going to call. I knew that. She got out of the truck and I scrambled out after her, not needing to walk her the short distance to the door but wanting to prolong my time with her. At the door she refused to face me.
“I love you, Heven.” I told her, needing to say the words.
She put a hand up to her scars, whispering, “Your love comes with a heavy price tag.”
She walked into the house and shut the door in my face. I didn’t know if she would ever talk to me again. I didn’t know how to make things right. The only thing I had left to offer her was my absence. And her life. Standing there in the dark, my heart in a million pieces, I made a vow. I would give Heven back the life she lost. I would kill China. And then, if she wanted me too I would walk away and never look back.
Chapter Fifteen
Heven
I spent the weekend avoiding Kimber’s phone calls, claiming I had a stomach bug. I used the same excuse to stay in my room all weekend, away from my mother. When Monday morning came, I pleaded I was still sick, even going as far as running into the bathroom to make retching sounds while I poured water in the toilet. Mom was convinced and let me stay home from school. At eight-thirty I felt my first breath of relief when she left for work. Finally, I was blissfully alone. I lay in bed a while longer wallowing in misery. The guy I loved wasn’t even human, and it felt like my heart would never mend.
I padded down to the kitchen and made some hot tea and brought it up to my room, crawling back under the covers. I thought about everything he told me, about the danger I was in and how a crazy hellhound wanted me dead. I knew I should be terrified, but my emptiness at the loss of Sam muted those feelings. And to make it worse the nightmares kept coming, but instead of the animal-like claws attacking me, there were long, red fingernails biting into my skin, drawing blood while Sam stood watching in the background. When I would wake up, I would lay there and cry wondering how my life got so messed up. I was so incredibly miserable. What made everything that much worse was the one person who could make it all go away was the reason for the pain. How could I miss Sam after all he’d done? I burrowed further under the covers, trying to go back to sleep, except I wasn’t tired. I’d slept too much this weekend. I was wide-awake with my misery.
I threw the covers back and sat up, reaching for my tea. I jumped and screamed, tea spilling everywhere, when I saw Sam sitting on the floor by my dresser. “Owww!” I wailed, scrubbing at the hot liquid.
Sam jumped up. “I’m sorry.” He rushed to the side of the bed.
“I’ve got it,” I told him, pulling the shirt out away from my skin. It burned and stung. Tea dripped down my arms and legs making me feel sticky and wet. Like I wasn’t already miserable enough, now I had to have burns?