“What?” I said, suddenly confused. “No.”
“You didn’t think you should mention to me that you were married?”
“You said no questions!” I burst, getting up from the couch.
There was no way in hell he was going to be angry at me for doing what he wanted.
“You’re married!” he yelled.
He glanced at my left hand, at my ring finger, wondering if he somehow missed a sign.
“I took it off the day we signed the separation papers.”
He looked away.
I took a step toward him. “It’s over between Blake and me.”
“I can’t do this,” he said suddenly, looking panicked. I reached for him. He pulled away.
“Do what?” I asked.
“This.” He gestured between us. “I felt like shit all day. The things I said to you, the look on your face…” His voice trailed away. “You make me want things, Talie.”
I swallowed. My chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe. “You make me want things too.”
He shook his head. “I came here to try and—” His words died abruptly and he looked at me. “I can’t.”
“I know you’re upset about Blake.”
“You’re damn right I am,” he growled. “That scum had his hands on you. You lived with him. You shared his bed. You let him touch you.”
He sounded completely disgusted.
“I never said I didn’t have a life before I came here.”
“And I never asked.”
“What happened to you, Gavin?” I whispered.
“I shouldn’t have come.” He bolted for the sliders.
“Gavin.”
He stopped in his tracks.
“I want you here,” I said, the words ripping from somewhere in my soul. The vulnerability I felt in that moment seemed like it could swallow me whole.
“Go home, Talie,” Gavin whispered. “Go back to your husband.”
Nothing could have prepared me for those words. They hurt worse than I even imagined.
Long after he had gone, I stood there, unmoving, in that spot.
22
Talie
It rained the entire night. All night long I lay in bed, listening the comforting sounds of rain pitter-patter against the roof.
Only I wasn’t comforted by the sound.
How strange life could be. How one moment you’re living your life, have everything planned, and then something happens and everything changes. The things you thought were most important, the people you thought loved you most, it all turned out to be not at all what you wanted.
I came here to get away, to figure out where to go from here.
I never imagined I’d find Gavin, that in two weeks time I would fall irrevocably in love with him. It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? To love someone who kept his entire being to himself. But I didn’t care who he was, not really. I didn’t care what turned him into the jaded man who holed up in a beach house and kept everyone at bay.
I loved him.
Him.
Not the man everyone else knew. Not the man who had secrets.
I loved the man who ate way too many snack cakes, who surfed every morning, and no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, the man who cared about other people’s wellbeing.
The problem with Gavin was that he cared too much. Caring hurt.
I should know.
The timing sucked, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to waste another ounce of my life on something that didn’t make me truly happy.
When dawn finally broke over the horizon, I gave up on sleep and climbed out of bed. I took a moment to slip on a pair of cut-off shorts and a loose gray T-shirt. After brushing my teeth, I looked out on the beach.
It was still storming.
But Gavin was out there.
He was dressed in a dark wetsuit and held his surfboard at his side. The waves were violent and rough, crashing against the shore with a booming ferocity. He couldn’t possibly mean to surf them like that. What the hell was he thinking?
I rushed out onto the deck, yelling his name, but he didn’t hear. The deafening sound of the waves drowned out my voice.
I ran across the deck, my shirt already plastered to my body from the rain, and down the wooden steps. The sand was cold beneath my feet and damp from all the rain. I called out to him again, but he was closer to shore now, ready to go in the water.
Sand kicked up, hitting me in the back of my calves as I ran down the beach. I couldn’t let him do this. He could get hurt.
Or worse.
I caught up to him, ankle deep in the ocean. I yelled his name and he spun. Surprise flickered in his gaze, and I pushed at my saturated hair, trying to keep my vision clear.
“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled.
“Surfing!”
“You can’t surf in this weather!” I grabbed his arm.
Gently he pulled it away. “Go inside, Talie.”
“Not without you!”
“I’m not coming!”
The wind ripped at my clothes and hair, goose bumps rose all over my body from the cold, and waves crashed against my legs, saturating my shorts completely.
“Please, Gavin.” I took his hand, pulling him around. “Please don’t go out there. You could get hurt.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’ll be fine.”
“I love you!” I blurted out.
Time stopped.
We stood there utterly frozen, shock registering on his face. A whole host of emotions played over his features. Awe, happiness… regret.
“I don’t love you,” he said as the salty spray splattered our bodies.
My heart shattered. I knew it would.
“Go home,” he said, rainwater slipping over his face, cascading across his features. It reminded me of that time in the shower. The time when everything between us shifted.
But it wasn’t enough. Not even the insane, supercharged chemistry between us could make him feel something for me.
I turned and fled the beach. I raced up the stairs and into the house. Water and sand trailed behind me, but I just didn’t care. I pulled out my suitcase and started throwing all my things inside, dumping it all in one giant heap.
Salty sat in the corner of the room, just watching. Once I was completely packed, I put out extra bowls of food for the cat and an extra bowl of water. I felt sort of bad about leaving him here all alone. But I couldn’t stay.
I needed to go home. I needed to make a life for myself. A life that didn’t include Gavin.
Tears blurred my vision as I ran through the rain to my car. The guys at the shop fixed it and delivered it several days ago, but this was the first time I was starting the engine.