“Fuck him.”
“I think if I had, I would still have a job,” I quipped.
He barked a laugh.
“Doctor’s are egomaniacs,” I said. “They think everyone should treat them like a god.”
“They’re just people like everyone else.”
“Exactly.” I agreed.
“So you got fired and came here?”
“Something like that.” I wasn’t about to tell him all of my business.
A few minutes of silence passed between us. “Do you have a job?”
“I used to,” he replied, sitting back and propping his feet up on the railing of the deck.
It was really hard to have a conversation with someone who didn’t want to participate.
“How long are you here for?” he asked.
“I was supposed to go home tomorrow, but I extended it for another week or so.”
“Another week, huh?”
“Don’t worry. I won’t catch anything else on fire.” I joked.
His smile flashed. He didn’t smile very often or for very long, but I lived for those brief moments of happiness that visited his strong, unshaven jaw.
“Maybe we can hang out. You can teach me how to surf?” I suggested.
“No,” he said roughly, keeping his gaze away from mine. “I don’t make good company.”
He wasn’t lying about that. Even still, his rejection stung. All the times Blake told me no one else would want me replayed in the back of my mind like a bad song.
“Right.” I stood from the chair and tossed my cup and plate into a nearby trash bag. “Well, thanks for the burger. And for coming over with an extinguisher. I’m going to have to buy one for Aunt Ruth before I leave.”
He made a sound and didn’t glance away from the view. The tension between my shoulder blades didn’t ease until I stepped onto my own deck. I wasn’t sure what just happened, but I did know it twisted up my stomach into uncomfortable knots. I decided right then and there that no matter how much longer I was on this island, I was going to do everything I could to stay the hell away from Gavin.
16
Talie
When you go to the beach, step onto the sand, and glance out over the vast expanse of sea, you think to yourself that nothing in the world is bigger. That nothing in the world can make you feel as small as you do in that moment.
And then the sun goes down.
The stars light up the onyx sky and glitter like the most flawless collection of diamonds ever found. Curled up in a blanket, sitting under that kind of sky while hearing nothing but the waves crashing against the darkened, empty shoreline…
That is when a person feels smallest.
And most at peace.
I gazed up at the never-ending sky as the wind off the water carried away my inner turmoil and brought a certain stillness within myself. A certain kind of truce. As if my broken heart and troubled thoughts declared for at least tonight they would let me be.
The wind was chilly, but I wasn’t ready to go inside, so I pulled the chenille blanket around me just a little bit closer. My sunburn made me feel colder than I actually was. Tomorrow I was going to have to stay out of the sun and at the very least wear a shirt to cover the worst of it. Maybe I would go grocery shopping and rent a couple movies, make it a day in.
And of course my decision to stay inside had nothing to do with avoiding Gavin.
It was because of my sunburn.
Uh-huh.
I had enough guy problems to wallow in without adding his still-stinging rejection to the list.
Maybe staying here wasn’t the best decision. Maybe I should pack up and go home, face my future head on and deal with my past.
And Blake was definitely in my past.
I was sorry that Claire had to bear the brunt of his anger, although from the sounds of it, he didn’t show his slimy side to many. I was glad for it. Not to save my reputation, but just because my family didn’t need to be subjected to my poor choice.
I was hiding. Delaying the inevitable. Who cared if Blake was pissed and would pitch a fit when I refused to come home? Who cared if Joanna would invite me to lunch and sit silently (and not so silently) judging me?
Suddenly, I felt so incredibly weary. Tired of trying to be who everyone else wanted to be. Trying to tell myself that if I just tried a little harder, my life would fall into place.
Movement off to the side caught my attention, and I sat up, turning in the direction of the stairs. A figure moved out of the darkness toward me. His blond hair was covered beneath a baseball hat and he was actually wearing a shirt, a white one that seemed to glow against the backdrop of night.
“Hey,” he said, stepping closer.
“Hey,” I replied, not sure what else to say. I was surprised to see him. I thought he wasn’t good company.
“Can I sit?” He gestured toward the chair beside me.
“Sure.”
He lowered himself in the chair, sitting forward with his elbows resting on his knees. I sat back, feeling like he obviously came here to say something so I would wait for him to say it.
“I’m an ass,” he said, turning slightly so his words could be heard over the gusting wind.
“Ya think?”
I saw the flash of his white teeth. “I deserved that.”
I certainly wasn’t going to deny it. His moody, sexy behavior probably needed some kind of medication.
Gavin expelled a heavy sigh and then stood abruptly. He placed his hands on his hips and stared out into the darkness, keeping his back turned to me.
“I’m not available,” he said.
Panic bloomed in my chest and a sick feeling spread throughout my body. “You said you lived alone.”
Did he have a girlfriend? A wife? Was she maybe out of town? Had I done to some other woman what was just done to me? The thought made me physically ill. I knew how it felt to have someone you loved and trusted take advantage of you, to make you feel like you weren’t enough. I couldn’t do that to someone else. I couldn’t.
“I do,” he replied, swinging around to look at me.
I glanced up, the hammering of my heart making his words harder to hear.
He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. “I’m not involved with anyone.”
“Oh…” I blew out a breath and the sick feeling began to ease. “Being the other woman is not on my lifelong to-do list.”
“Yeah, and being a cheating, lying dickhead isn’t on mine.”
I guess that meant he was against cheating.
“Then…?” I asked, letting the question dangle in the breeze.