I put an arm around her, and she leaned into me. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“I don’t want to leave.”
“I know, but we’ll make it work.”
“You still think so?”
“Of course. If anything, I’m more determined now. I need you in my life.”
She shifted, and at first I thought she was pulling away, but instead she got into my lap, straddling me the way she did our first night together. Before I could even register it, she kissed me.
I let her take the lead, more than willing to hand control over to her for a while. I loved that she felt comfortable enough with me to do it.
She suddenly stopped, hands stilling in their gradual descent. “You’re going to visit me, right?”
“Of course.” I’d be visiting her more than she could imagine. I finally knew how I was going to make her feel safe.
“Good.” Her hands moved again, and I decided it was my turn to take over. I flipped her down on the couch and followed behind her. As upset as it made her that first time, I realized it was the words and not the action.
She giggled, having no problem with her new position.
I grinned. “You weren’t moving fast enough.”
“No, I wasn’t, was I?”
I undressed her quickly, enjoying the process just as much now as I had the first time, just as much as I knew I’d enjoy doing it for the rest of my life. I’d already known it for a long time, but I was never letting Becca go. If our time apart had taught me anything, it was that I’d do anything to keep her in my life—and after our night, I’d finally figured out how.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Becca
I woke up in Gavin’s arms as the sun streaked in the window. I snuggled into him, not wanting the moment to end. The lyrics to every song I knew about saying goodbye flowed through my head as I ran my hand down his chest. He murmured something before pulling me closer. I closed my eyes and tried to memorize how it felt to be held by him, how it felt to be so complete. His skin felt warm against mine, and I even liked the way his stubble scratched my cheek.
The tears started. I didn’t want to leave him. I had no idea how I was supposed to survive the distance. We’d wasted so much time, and all I wanted to do was go back and make up for every second of it. I wished I’d spent every night with him, had woken up with him every morning. I wished I hadn’t taken him for granted. I’d never expected to fall in love, but over the course of a few months, I’d become completely attached to a man I knew I could no longer live without.
“Are you okay, baby?” Gavin said softly.
I opened my eyes. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m scared.”
“Of leaving?” He absently played with my hair the way he did so often.
“Of everything. Of being apart, of being alone…”
“I know. But I have a surprise that might help a little.”
“What?” I looked up at him hopefully.
“He’s currently sleeping over there.” I followed his gaze over to where Max slept curled up on his bed.
“Max? Wait, are you saying I can borrow your dog?”
He laughed. “Well if I can’t be there myself, at least you’ll have him. Besides, he likes you better.”
“But what about you? What will you do without him?”
“I’ll be okay. I’ll see him all the time when I visit you. And it’s only for nine months, right?”
I nodded. “Right.”
I kissed him, refusing to waste even a minute of the time we had left.
***
Boston was as lonely as I’d expected. I got back into the groove of school, but it was so much harder. The longer I was away from Clayton Falls, the more I missed it. I missed Molly, Kelly, and Jake—missed the group of friends I’d never imagined I’d have, but most of all, I missed Gavin. Sometimes I ached for him so much that I didn’t know how to deal.
To make things worse, Gavin seemed kind of distant, as if he was hiding something. I knew I had to trust him. I understood that sending Max with me was for more than my safety. He wanted me to know he wasn’t going anywhere. Accepting Max meant I wasn’t either.
On the Thursday of my third week back, I got caught in a torrential downpour after getting off the T. I opened my umbrella, but a gust of wind turned it inside out. “Damn it.”
I dropped my useless umbrella into the trash can as I walked the few blocks to my apartment. Pelted by rain on top of everything else, I was soaked. I turned the corner and noticed someone leaning against the side of my building. As I got closer, he glanced up, and I got a look at my favorite hazel eyes.
“Gavin? What are you doing here?” I ran as fast as I could with my backpack full of books.
He met me halfway, sliding my bag off my shoulders, tossing it under the awning of my building, before pulling me into a hug. “You left something behind,” he whispered in my ear.
“What?” I asked, hoping he was going to say what I wanted him to.
“Me.”
I pulled my head away from his chest, knowing my face was now wet from tears and the rain. “How long are you here for?”
“Until you graduate.”
“Really?” I clutched on to his shirt, trying to accept that the man I loved was really moving across the country for me.
He smiled. “I figured I knew someone who wouldn’t mind having me as a roommate.”
“Well, I kind of already have someone living with me… but I think Max will be okay with you joining us.”
“Good. I would have come sooner, but I had to give my two weeks at work.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be. I know of a job up here I can take anyway.”
“Where?”
“Let’s say we’ll be at a lot of games at Fenway.”
“Are you going to coach?”
“I called my pitching coach, and he knew someone up here. It won’t pay much, but it’s a start, right?”
“Oh my god, you’re really going to help coach the Sox!”
“I take it you like the idea?”
“Is that a joke?”
He looked down into my eyes. “I love you, Becca.”
Before I could reply, his lips were on mine. His arms came around me, and I wrapped mine around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible. The rain continued to pour down on us, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was how good it felt to have his lips against mine again and to be back in his arms. He eventually loosened his hold a little and pulled back. I jumped in immediately. “I love you.”