“Good morning.” He spoke softly, likely hearing my irregular breathing and realizing I was awake.
I took a deep breath and rolled toward him. “Good morning.”
I expected a smiling face to be waiting for me, but instead I found a frown. “So, um… yeah, about last night.”
“I guess we were pretty drunk.” I tried to smile.
“Yeah, very drunk.”
I waited for more. There had to be more.
“So, I think we can both agree it was a mistake, and I’m sorry I let it happen.”
I felt like someone had dropped a Mack truck on me. The headache from earlier was nothing. A mistake? I was a mistake? “Oh. Yeah.”
“I think the best thing to do would be to forget it ever happened, just keep it between us.” His voice sounded strained.
“Yeah, good idea.”
I felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes. I rolled over and pulled the sheet around me, yanking it off the bed so I could pick up my skirt and panties from his bedroom floor and my top and bra from his den. I didn’t bother to turn around to see how he reacted. The last thing I wanted to see was his face. It was probably smug—or worse, full of that regret he’d been talking about.
I stumbled into my clothes, not using the bathroom even though I had to go.
I heard him moving around his room and didn’t wait for him to come out. I opened the door, letting it slam behind me before running back to where I left Molly’s car in the public lot at the beach. There was a ticket on the windshield—perfect. Didn’t it count for anything that I left it there because I was having sex with one of their officers?
As soon as I closed the car door, the tears spilled out. I had to sit a moment before pulling out back toward the Mathews’s house. I really hoped I wouldn’t run into anyone.
Safely inside the pool house, I slunk to the floor just inside the door. How could I have been so stupid? Why would Gavin be any different from other guys? Why did I expect more from an alcohol-fueled hook up? I had been sure there was a connection, but it was one sided—and now I felt like the idiot I was. And why did he want to keep it a secret? Was he embarrassed? Was I that bad? I could have sworn he’d enjoyed it, but how would I have even known?
I stripped off my clothes, fighting the urge to throw them in the trash instead of my hamper. I took a scalding hot shower, trying to wash away any evidence of Gavin from my skin. I’d have to find a way to avoid him for the rest of the summer. It was only a few months.
I heard my phone ring as I wrapped myself up in a plush towel. I ignored it. Whoever it was, I didn’t want to talk.
By the time I got dressed, I knew I’d have to cancel my lunch plans with Molly. There was no way I was facing her. There was no way I was facing anyone. I didn’t even want to face myself.
Chapter Twelve
Gavin
I flinched when the door slammed closed. I’d just let the most gorgeous and incredible woman I’d ever been with walk out my door, but I had no choice. For once, I wasn’t going to be the loser who came on too strong and read too much into something. I’d give her what she wanted: a one night fling.
She hadn’t even said goodbye. I think that’s the part that got me. I threw on some boxers and walked into the living room as soon as I heard her leave. The sheet from my bed was in a ball on the couch. Just looking at that damn sheet reminded me of the night we’d shared. I needed to stop thinking about it, about her. What was done was done. Hopefully, I’d be able to steer clear of her until she left in August.
After a horrible weekend, I returned to work on Monday. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get Becca out of my head. I’d done the impossible and worn Max out on Saturday running him too hard. I didn’t know what else to do. I kept replaying it all. Starting with running into her, our conversation, the most unbelievable sex I’d ever had, and the way I’d treated her the next morning. I needed to remember that I’d protected myself, and she was probably relieved.
Tom called me out on my miserable mood when we stopped for lunch. “What the hell’s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Sure. I’m not buying it. You’ve been as moody as a little girl lately. You seriously need to get some.”
I choked on my Coke. “That’s not my problem.”
“Sure it isn’t.” He smiled wickedly. He loved giving me a hard time about my pathetic dating life, but he was married. He didn’t get it.
“Just let it go.”
“Why? Something is obviously up with you.”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I knew Tom well enough to know it wasn’t worth the effort of arguing. He’d pull it out of me eventually.
“Not a chance.” Tom grinned, stretching out his arms on the booth behind him.
“I need a change.” That might have been the biggest understatement of the century. I needed a lot more than that.
“A change?”
“Yes. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“Anything in particular you can’t take?” Tom eyed me skeptically, like he was trying to figure out if I was being serious or not.
“The thought of spending my life as a cop in this town.” Talking to Becca about it had just forced me to admit what I’d been thinking for months: how pathetic my existence had become. There’s only so much of pulling people over and stepping in on property disputes that a man can take.
Tom straightened. “And you’re suddenly questioning your career path because…”
“I get it’s different for you. You like this place—no, you love it. Your family’s here, your wife. I get it. But it’s different for me. This was just supposed to be a stop while I figured things out. It’s been three years.” Without meaning to, I’d raised my voice.
“And you think the job’s the problem? It’s not the job. You just need to meet someone.”
“You say it like there’s a thousand girls to choose from. We live in a town the size of a cereal box. And don’t start in on how you found Kelly. It’s different—you both grew up here.”
“It’s not going to happen if you don’t give anyone a chance. When’s the last date you were on?” He shoved a few fries into his mouth.
I focused on eating my burger.
“It was with Ronny’s cousin two months ago, wasn’t it? Two months. And what was wrong with her?”