I, on the other hand, just curled up in a ball under the blanket.
The medic took her seat, facing away from us, and lifted glowing hands as everyone crammed back into the room. She stated in a factual voice, “Ms Ruckler is indeed pregnant, and I’m going to show you a few pictures.” My breath caught at her confirmation, my heart rate pounding chaotically as she waved her hands and four golden squares lined the wall she was facing. “I was able to snap these while doing the exam,” she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes on mine, “like a Com sonogram.”
My lips thinned, but I nodded.
She stood and started gesturing at what looked like a large gray blob on the first ‘sonogram’. “This is Ms Ruckler’s uterus.” She pointed a finger at what appeared to be a dot. “That’s baby one.” Again, my heart rate shot off, and I was cognizant enough to hear Ezra’s start pounding, too. She stepped to another ‘sonogram’, pointing again. “That’s baby two.”
I was pretty sure everyone in the room froze.
Breath wheezing out of me, I gasped, “One and two?”
Bindi nodded. “Twins.” She moved to the other two pictures, pointing at each one. “These are better shots of their position.” As she sat down, I felt like I was going to faint and was happy I was lying down. “Now,” her golden gaze met mine, “as for your cervix.” Her jaw clenched. “You’re dilated to five. The probability of you miscarrying is around ninety percent.” After holding my gaze for what felt like forever, she gradually stood. “I’m sorry, Ms Ruckler. None of our medicines will work at this stage. There’s nothing we can do for you medically. Only time will tell.”
My gaze darted back and forth between the ‘sonograms’, staring at the tiny dots she had pointed to. “There’s nothing at all?” God, my voice cracked.
Her lips thinned, her gaze lowering before meeting mine again. “There’s no medicine to help a Mys, or even a spell I could do for a natural occurrence. Your body needs to heal on its own.” She waved a hand and the images I had been staring at went away. “Rest. Try to relax. Your body may recover. The gestational sacs are still in place and you haven’t begun to bleed yet. Like I said, the probability is ninety percent for loss, but there’s still a ten percent chance for hope.” She left the room as silence reigned, everyone still staring where the ‘sonograms’ had been.
I knew in that instant what it would be like if I lost them.
I felt utter fear. A sense of complete hopelessness. My heart squeezed painfully. My panting breaths came in great hiccups. “I don’t even like babies.” My whole body trembled. “I shouldn’t care, right?” My eyes darted back and forth between Ezra’s…and I saw the same emotions filling his gaze before his lids hooded. “Oh, God.” A sob racked my body as a torrent of pain-filled tears tore down my cheeks, I never realizing I may have wanted children until I had two inside me, only for them to be snuffed out after such a brief time.
I saw Ezra’s eyes flash before he rested his head facedown on the bed — hiding his expression on crooked arm — and placed his free hand on my head, running his fingers through my hair. Suddenly, I felt peace flow through me. It didn’t dull all of the ache in my lower abdomen, since it was a natural process, but it subdued the chaos in my mind. “She said you have to relax.” His voice came deep and gruff and muffled by the bed. “Do as she says.” It felt wrong somehow to feel tranquillity when I might be in the process…of losing twins.
My twins.
Ezra’s and my babies, our own little monsters.
But I lay perfectly still, doing as ordered, trying to clear my mind, only to have King Kincaid intrude, asking harshly, “Do you have to touch her, Ezra?”
Ezra didn’t move or respond.
Cahal stated calmly, “He’s relaxing her with his power. She needs him to, with the way her heartbeat was fluctuating so rapidly.”
I heard King Kincaid curse quietly, his voice tight with concern, before he flopped onto the chair the medic had vacated. “Lily, honey…the father…He deserves to be here.” I saw him viciously rub his face, even though I felt nothing but calmness now. “I know you don’t want to say who he is, but he should be here for this.” His eyes met mine. It wasn’t a command, only pure reasoning.
I agreed with him wholeheartedly. “The people I want here are already in this room.”
He didn’t blink. “I never thought you to be selfish.”
“Some would think it a kindness.”
He thumped his fist on the arm of the chair. “The father has a right to know.” I peered away, unable any further to come up with an evasive explanation. My gaze landed on Ezra’s shoulder, which was rock-solid, and I saw that his muscles were clenched, strung so tight he appeared he might break. I felt another small cramp, but it didn’t hurt as badly as before, thanks to Ezra’s power. King Kincaid sighed at my silence, muttering, “You’ll regret this, Lily.”
“So be it,” I whispered — the only thing I could say before closing my eyes, attempting to block out everyone.
Chairs were brought in for the others to sit on, even though their edges rested so closely together that everyone had to sit shoulder-to-shoulder. As time passed, Elder Merrick left and brought back coffee for everyone. Ezra’s was left untouched; the only movement he made was to tilt his head to the side and stare me in the eyes, his gaze hidden from everyone’s view but mine. His eyes were bloodshot and expressing everything I wasn’t feeling right now, thanks to his power. He was unable to keep it contained, even though I could tell he tried by the way his lips were permanently pinched.
I lay on the medical bed, holding his stare, and moved my hand under the blanket until the tips of my fingers were against his arm, the only touch I could give him right now. Pearl and Jack had maneuvered earlier to sit directly behind Ezra, and they sat with their heads resting against the wall, their faces carefully blank.
Five hours and many cramps later, Ezra’s body trembled, his head shooting up. Waking a few people, he shouted out the open door, “Bindi!” He paused, exhaling heavily on a deep pant, before bellowing, “She’s bleeding! Get in here!”
My breath caught. I reached between my legs, and then pulled my hand out from under the cover. My fingers were slick with vivid red blood. “Hope.” I shook my head inside Ezra’s hold and my eyes met his, both of our expressions damned, even as Bindi rushed into the room, demanding everyone leave and literally shoving people out. “Hope’s a f**king bitch.”