My biological dad leaned, covering the woman’s upper attributes, shouting, “Out!”
I squeaked again, turning and shoving everyone — yes, with some Shifter strength — the hell out of the room. I kept pushing them clear down the hallway to the farthest room with a hot tub. It was blessedly empty. Pointing a slightly shaking finger at their carefully blank faces, I muttered, “Not a goddamn word about that,” my shoulders hunched, “scene. Understand?” Kids weren’t supposed to see that shit.
Dutifully, they nodded.
Turning my back to them, I started stripping down, and immediately felt heat at my back. Ezra’s palms landed on my hips, his grip tight. My hands stalled behind my back at my bra’s clasp, trapped between our bodies.
Quietly, he asked against my ear, “What happened to being modest?”
I shrugged. “It’s just you three. You’ve all seen me naked before.”
A pause, then he grunted, releasing my hips. But he didn’t exactly move away, feeling him undress behind me. I withheld the snicker as he blocked me from their view, even though they were both turned away, giving each of us a semblance of privacy. I was most definitely still modest, but Vampires were even more so.
Moving to slip into the water, I kept my head down, not glancing in Jack’s and Pearl’s direction. Not that I really could with the huge Vampire directly next to me the whole way. I sighed as the heated water glided over my bare skin.
And was instantly dunked.
Ezra’s lips were on mine as he took us under the water, his tongue thrusting inside my mouth. He pulled me flush against him, his arm tight around my waist with his other hand on the back of my head. Surprised or not, I held my breath, giving him as good as he gave by grabbing his hair and rubbing my tongue against his. Even under the water I heard his predator growl, the noise muffled as his chest vibrated against mine. I was wrapped around him tight, legs around his waist, when my lungs started to seize for air.
Nipping his lip, I tapped his shoulder. He quickly brought our heads above the water, mouths separated. Gulping air, I wiped the water from my eyes, seeing Jack and Pearl already in, water up to their shoulders.
Jack grumbled, “Seriously? After everything we just walked in on?”
Ezra grinned, showing a little fang. “You can’t see shit under the water.”
Pearl flicked her finger at us. “Not with us in here.” She shuddered.
“Thank God the water was dark,” I murmured, hardly hearing her as a quick visual of my biological dad…ugh…nope, not going there. Ezra gently pulled me to the side, placing me directly next to him on the rock bench and pulling my legs over his thigh, one of his arms around my waist. “Next time, we need to tell him to keep it behind closed doors.”
His fingers trailed up and down my leg. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?”
I held my hands up out of the water in a stopping gesture. “You’re right. Never mind.”
Jack said lazily, “If I see this water rippling more than it should be right now, I’ll freeze your half.” His lips lifted in the barest smile as his head fell back in relaxation.
Ezra and I both chuckled, even as I grabbed his hand, which was beginning to wander up to my breast. I tugged it back down to my leg, hearing him sigh softly, his head also falling back, but more in defeat. I agreed with Pearl and Jack. No funny business while they were in here.
Pearl went under and resurfaced to brush hair out of her face, saying abruptly, “I miss him.”
Instantly, I whispered, “I know.”
“How do you two do it?” Jack asked, his eyes blinking open to stare at the ceiling. “How did you get past it?”
Ezra cleared his throat, speaking slowly. “It’s not that you get past it…” He sighed. “I’m not really the best person to ask this, because I went crazy for a little while when Felicia died, but for me…time and the friendship of you three have helped immensely. The pain isn’t so agonizing anymore. I loved Felicia, but she’s not coming back. I choose to live in the now, with hopes of a possible future — when I’m ready — rather than in the past.”
Pearl dunked herself again, which I realized was her washing away her silent tears.
“He explained it perfectly,” I murmured quietly, my own head resting against the rock floor, arching my neck over the tub’s edge. “That’s what helped me. Time and friendship.” I shook my head against the floor, stating bluntly, “There’s no easy fix to the pain of losing a mate.”
“Sometimes I wonder why we even have them,” Pearl whispered, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “I mean, why do that to someone when it hurts so badly when they’re gone?”
“The magic,” Jack murmured, grabbing Pearl’s hand as she brushed her hair back, both their entwined hands falling under the water. “We live so long, it’s supposed to be a gift to us, finding the one perfect person to live our life with.”
“I’ve never heard it put that way before.” Ezra tilted his head, eyeing Jack. “It makes sense, though.”
I blinked up at the ceiling. “I see the world through a crack.”
Pearl asked slowly, “Meaning?”
“I mean, I see the possibilities of a future after losing a mate. A truly happy one with another partner. Full of love and kindness and normal fights. At first, after Dominic died, I didn’t see that. All I saw was gray, a life I had to walk through. But now, through the crack, I see a world full of colors, a life I would love to walk through, not one I have to.”
“What’s stopping you?” Jack’s eyes were avid on me.
Ezra grunted. “The rest of the wall.”
I nodded, my head bumping his shoulder. “Exactly.”
Ezra stared at Jack and Pearl. “Once you get to where she’s talking about, which is exactly where I am too, you’ll see that f**king crack is so damn tiny compared to the rest of the damn wall.”
Pearl’s head cocked. “The wall is fear?”
Ezra nodded, but said, “Yes, but that’s not what you feel at first.”
“Disbelief,” I stated, not agreeing with Ezra completely on this one because I felt no fear.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Then shock.”
I nodded this time. “Then a sort of void.”
He murmured, “A big dose of wariness comes next.”
Ezra glanced at me when I stayed mute.