That struck a chord with me. I used one of the pens to write sainted on the back of my hand. “I think a lot of people would argue that’s the only way to get to the pearly gates. Why the sudden push for getting sloshed?”
Paul shrugged and looked out the window. “I dunno.”
I suppose if I’d been a responsible adult, I’d have told him that he didn’t need to get drunk to be self-actualized or whatever. But I was bored and generally irresponsible by nature or by choice, so I told him, “I’ll get it for you.”
“What?”
“Beer, Paul. Focus. That’s what you want, right? Alcohol?”
Paul’s eyes became even rounder behind his glasses. “Are you serious? How—”
“Shh, don’t bother your head about my mysterious methods. That’s what makes me me. Have you had beer before?” I wrote beer on the side of my index finger, since I’d run out of room on my hand.
Paul laughed. “Ha. Ha. Ha. My parents say beer defiles the soul.”
I grinned at him. Even better. This was going to be insanely entertaining. Things were looking up.
“What are you grinning at, James?” Sullivan, a few seats ahead of us, had turned around and was peering at me suspiciously. “It’s vaguely sinister.”
I sealed my teeth behind my lips but kept smiling at him. I wondered how long he’d been listening. Not that it mattered. My evil plans could go on with or without his knowledge.
Sullivan observed my closed-lipped smile with a raised eyebrow. He had to speak loudly to be heard over the sound of the bus. “Better, but still ominous. I can’t shake the idea that you’re planning something only marginally ethical, like the takeover of a small Latin country.”
I grinned at him again. Of all the teachers, Sullivan spoke my language. “Not this week.”
Sullivan grimaced at Paul and back at me. “Well, I hope it’s legal.”
Paul blinked rapidly, but I shrugged, indifferent. “In most countries.”
Sullivan’s crooked mouth made a rueful smile. “This country?” He read me better than anyone I knew, a fact that was both inconvenient and comforting.
“My dear professor, your skills are wasted on such deductive reasoning. Don’t you have some English poetry you should be reading?”
He looked like he wanted to continue with the previous line of questioning, but instead just pointed a finger at me. “Watching you, Mr. Morgan.” He dropped his finger to my scribbled-on hands and said, “Make a note of that.” He turned back around in his seat.
But there was no room left on my skin, so I didn’t bother. Around me, the students’ voices got louder with excitement as the bus pulled into a huge gray parking lot.
“What are we going to see again?” Megan asked from a seat somewhere near Sullivan.
“The Raleigh-Botts Ensemble,” he said. A third hyphenated name. I regarded it as an insidious sign. I was keeping an eye open for rains of blood and locusts next. Sullivan added, “A most excellent chamber group who will be performing a wide range of pieces that I’m sure Mrs. Thieves will be testing you on later this year.”
“I will be!” Mrs. Thieves called from the front of the bus. “So make sure you keep your program!”
The bus pulled into a spot and Sullivan and Mrs. Thieves shepherded the busful of students into the parking lot and toward the theater. I saw Sullivan’s lips moving silently as he did a head-count of the milling students.
“Forty-six. Thirty-four,” I said to him, without much enthusiasm.
“Shut up, James,” he replied pleasantly. “It’s not working.”
Through considerable magic on Sullivan and Mrs. Thieves’ part, we made it into the lobby of the theater building. It was freezing cold, smelled like evergreens, and was carpeted from wall to wall with deep burgundy carpet. All of the wood was stark white and covered with carved scrolls. There was another group of students already filing down the hall. College students. We looked like babies beside them. The college girls tossed their hair and giggled heee heee heee, two years closer to minivans and soccer practices and Botox than the girls from my bus. I wished I hadn’t come.
“Hi,” said Dee. She smiled up at me, one side a little higher than the other, clutching her notebook to her chest. Study in red, black, and white: the carpet, her hair, her face. “Want to be my friend?”
“No, I find you quite unlikable,” I said.
Dee grinned and linked her arm in mine. She leaned her head on my arm. “Good. Sit next to me. Is that allowed?”
Sullivan wasn’t nearby to tell me no. I slid toward the front of the group, toward the darkened theater. Nobody would know who was who once we were inside; from out here I could see that only the small stage was lit at the front of the room. “We’ll make it allowed. We are young and independent Americans. No one tells us what to do.”
“Right.” Dee laughed and pinched the loose skin on my elbow. I swallowed at her touch.
In the small theater, we sat as far away from the college students as possible; all around us was the noise of students chattering in fake whispers. In this little room, it was even colder. Between Dee, so close beside me, and the frigid temperature, I felt off-balance, disconnected from some part of myself. Dee reached over and took my hand. She whispered in my ear, “It’s freezing in here. At least your hand is warm.”
I leaned my head toward her and whispered back, “The ensemble is comprised entirely of penguins. I read in the program that they refuse to play unless the temperature is below fifty degrees Fahrenheit. If it’s any higher, they begin to sweat and their flippers lose traction on the strings of the instruments.”
Dee laughed and then slapped her other hand over her mouth, guiltily. “James,” she hissed furiously, “you’re going to make Thieves yell at me. She can be awful.”
I held her hand tightly, warming her fingers with mine. “She’s probably menopausal. Don’t take it personally.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. What is taking so friggin’ long?” Dee craned her neck around as if there would be a clue to the delay in the darkness around us. “Seriously, we’ll all freeze to death before they even start. Maybe you’re right about the penguins. It probably takes a long time for them to warm up.” She snorted. “Oh, get it? Warm up?”
“Truly you’re a comic genius.”