I rolled my eyes. Just my luck to have a minion who considered himself the Dr. Phil of the demon world. “I’m not sabotaging anything.” I looked away, unable to bear the knowing look in his eyes.
“Whatever. I think you need to go find that boy and tell him how you feel about him. Then you need to ride him like a tilt-o-whirl.”
“I can’t.”
“And why not?”
“You mean besides the numerous attempts on our lives, the sister to save, and the grandmother to kill?” He shot me a look that clearly indicated those were bullshit excuses. “Fine, how about the fact that we’d basically be recreating my parents’ Greek tragedy?”
His expression didn’t change except for a raised eyebrow. I looked up to the ceiling, knowing what I was about to do might be a horrible mistake. On the other hand, maybe sharing the burden of my secret might lessen its power. I hesitated for a second and then went for broke. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”
“You’re frigid? I knew it!”
I slapped his arm. “No, I’m not frigid.”
“VD?”
“Shut up and listen before I lose my nerve.”
He mimed locking his lips.
I let out a rush of breath. “Okay, remember in New York when Maisie helped me escape so I could go hide out with Slade until things blew over after the Banethsheh incident?” When the demon nodded, I rushed forward. “Well, the thing is I kind of sort of hadsexwithSlade .”
The demon’s eyes widened into saucers. “What the f**k were you thinking, Sabina?”
I shushed him and looked around to make sure no one heard him. Then I remembered we were alone. “Clearly, I wasn’t thinking. I could make excuses about thinking the mages had turned their backs on me and finding comfort in the arms of an old friend, but that doesn’t really matter right now.”
He waved a claw. “Oh, I don’t care about all that. I meant what were you thinking keeping this dirt from me? You know I loves me some gossip.” He leaned in eagerly. “Was it good?”
I blinked. “Aren’t you going to give me shit for betraying Adam?”
The demon shrugged. “If I recall correctly, you and Adam weren’ t— and still aren’t, I might add— an official item.”
I frowned. While he was technically right, the excuse didn’t sit well with me. “No, but we’d discussed exploring that option when he returned from Queen Maeve’s court.”
Giguhl placed a talon over my lips. “Hush! You need to listen to Gigi now.” I squinted at him until he removed it. He turned fully toward me and placed his claws on my shoulders. “Are you listening? Because I’m about to lay some serious insight on your ass.”
My first instinct was to tell him I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. But in the end, curiosity got the better of me, so I nodded.
“Your guilt is just an excuse to avoid facing your fear of intimacy.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the knowing look the demon shot me then told me I’d be wasting my breath. Because, really, who was I kidding? “Let’s say you’re right,” I said slowly. “What do I do about it?”
“Well, first of all, you’re going to have to make the first move. Adam knows you’re skittish and doesn’t want to scare you off.”
“When exactly am I supposed to stage this seduction?” I leaned forward. “Tonight in the cemetery during the voodoo ritual, or right before I kill my grandmother?”
Giguhl rolled his eyes. “You’ll know the right time. Trust that shit. The trick is not sabotaging the moment because you’re too chicken to let yourself be happy.”
“Okay, so let’s say for the sake of argument I make a move and everything works out.” My stomach did a little flip-flop at the idea of seducing Adam. “What about the Slade thing?”
He looked me right in the eye and said, “You don’t tell him.”
“But—”
“No, you can’t tell him. If what you say is true and the thing with Slade didn’t mean anything, then I say what Adam doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, how do we know Adam didn’t get himself a little piece of faery ass while he was in North Carolina?”
That stopped me. A red haze dripped down over my vision at the mere thought of Adam cavorting with another female. “He wouldn’t do that.”
“Sabina, he’s a male,” Giguhl said. “He’d totally do that, especially when you’ve been so quick to deny any interest in him every time it comes up.”
My fists clenched in response. Giguhl must have sensed my competitive streak rising to the surface, because he soldiered on. “Are you really gonna let some trampy faery steal your man?”
My eyes narrowed. “No!”
Giguhl clapped a claw on my back. “That’s my girl.”
My resolve sputtered. “But what do I do until the right moment presents itself?”
The demon patted me on the arm. “Just act natural. Be yourself.”
Oh, right, sure. Most days when I looked in the mirror I felt like I was looking at a stranger. How the hell was I supposed to be myself when the mere thought of being that emotionally vulnerable made me want to cut my losses and run the hell away?
Right then, the apartment door opened in the living room, announcing Adam’s arrival. Giguhl shot me a meaningful look as he rose from the bed.
A second later, Adam’s sandy head poked around the doorframe. “What’s up?”
I froze. Normally I would have used the opportunity to embarrass both males about the aborted sleep sex. But now all I could do was stare at Adam, feeling completely self-conscious.
“Sabina?” he said, coming farther into the room. Next to me, Giguhl cleared his throat, a not-so-subtle reminder. “Everything okay?” Adam continued.
My eyes darted wildly about the room as I searched for something to say. When my gaze landed on the clothes I left on the bedside table, I jumped up. “I need a shower.”
I grabbed the clothes and brushed past a very confused mage before seeking refuge in the bathroom. Through the door, I heard Adam call, “Make it quick.” Then, in a lower tone to Giguhl: “What’s her deal?”
“You know, Red. She’s never quite herself ”— he raised his volume to make sure I got the message— “when she first wakes up.”
Thirty minutes— and a strident lecture with myself— later, I descended the steps to find everyone gathered at the store’s counter again. It stuck me as odd that Zen’s store always seemed empty, but then I remembered my nocturnal nature meant I missed out on her key business hours.