Maybe that made me the real coward with my own secret to hide now.
"I'm sorry, Logan," I finally said. "Just-leave me alone. Please?"
I turned and ran back into the house before he could reach for me again.
Soon after that, everyone left to go back to the academy. I wanted to stay with Grandma Frost, but Metis insisted that I return to the academy, too, until she and the other members of the Pantheon could figure out how Loki's escape was going to affect us all.
"It's the safest place right now for you, Gwen," Metis said in a gentle voice. "Don't worry. I've arranged for some members of the Pantheon to come here and guard Geraldine."
So I went, even though I didn't really want to. I was back on campus by three o'clock. I stood outside the door that led to my dorm room, thinking how normal it looked, how normal everything looked. I wondered if I would ever feel normal again, if I would ever feel safe or happy again. The door was open, probably from where Nott had left my room to come find me. My heart ached at the thought of the wolf. I wondered if it would ever quit hurting, if I would ever quit hurting over everything that had happened.
"Gwen?" Daphne asked. "Do you want me to stay with you?"
The Valkyrie's words penetrated my daze. Daphne had walked up to my room with me, even though I'd insisted that I could make it by myself.
I shook my head. "I just need to be alone right now. Okay?"
Daphne didn't like it, but she nodded and bit her lip. My friend carefully put her arms around me and gave me a hug, just like the others had done. They'd all hugged or touched me before we'd left Grandma Frost's house, as if that would convince me I wasn't a threat to them. But nothing would do that-not now.
Daphne tried to be gentle with her hug, but her great Valkyrie strength still cracked my back. I stood absolutely still, careful not to let any part of my bare skin touch hers. Finally, she dropped her arms and stepped back.
"Call me later, okay?" Daphne asked in a worried voice.
I nodded, although I had no intention of doing that. I had no intention of doing anything. What was the point? I'd made such a mess of everything. Loki was free, and soon, he and his Reapers of Chaos would take over the world and kill and enslave the rest of us. What was the point in trying anymore?
I'd never felt so miserable in my entire life, and I knew I deserved to. This was my fault-all my fault. If only I'd realized what Vivian was up to, if I'd just left the dagger hidden where it was, it would have been safe, and Loki would still be trapped in his prison. Instead, I'd unleashed the evil god on the entire world. I wasn't Gwen Frost, that Gypsy girl who saw things. Not anymore. Now, I was just Gwen Frost, epic, epic failure.
Daphne left, and I stepped into my room and slung my messenger bag down on the floor. For the second time this week, Metis had brought the bag to Grandma Frost's house. I reached into the bag and drew out Vic, who was still sheathed in his black leather scabbard. I'd never even had a chance to use him against Vivian and the other Reapers. Some warrior whiz kid I was.
Vic's eye snapped open, and he regarded me for several long seconds. "It's not your fault, Gwen. None of this is your fault. Even Champions are not infallible."
Even Vic was being nice to me, which let me know just how royally I'd screwed up.
"Thanks, Vic," I mumbled and hung the sword on his spot on the wall.
The sword kept looking at me, and I flopped down onto the bed to avoid his steady stare. Loki, Vivian, Preston, Nott, Logan. All the images from the last day swirled through my mind, adding to my guilt. I don't know how long I would have lain there staring up at the pointed ceiling if a soft, familiar whimper hadn't caught my attention.
"Nott?" I whispered, sitting up.
The room was empty.
Then, I remembered. Nott was gone, and I'd seen the wolf die, held her in my arms while it happened. It was just my imagination, just my Gypsy gift playing a cruel, cruel trick on me. I started to lie back down on the bed when the whimper sounded again.
I looked around the room again and noticed something moving in the pile of blankets that Nott had been sleeping on. It looked small, but I still grabbed Vic. Then, I tiptoed over to the blankets, leaned down, and carefully pulled one of them back.
A newborn wolf pup whimpered up at me.
My mouth dropped open, and all I could do was just stand there and stare at it. How-why-when-My jumbled thoughts didn't make any sense, but the answer finally came to me.
"Nott," I whispered.
The wolf must have had her pup while I'd been kidnapped. Then, somehow, someway, she'd sensed that something was wrong and had come after me. Grandma Frost had said the wolf and I had some kind of connection, but I'd never expected this.
In my hand, Vic's eye narrowed as he peered down at the wolf.
"Great," the sword muttered. "Just bloody great. Now, there's another one of them."
"Shut up, Vic," I said, putting the sword down and going back over to the pup.
The wolf pup had fuzzy, ash-gray fur and looked like it weighed maybe two pounds. Since I didn't know what else to do, I tentatively stretched my hand out toward it. I didn't know if it could smell me or not, if it had any idea who I was or what had happened to its mom, but the pup nestled its head under my hand and licked my fingers. All sorts of feelings flashed through my mind. The pup was confused and scared and hungry.
They were some of the most beautiful emotions I'd ever felt.
The feelings smashed at the cold, hard shell that had coated my heart ever since Nott had died, cracking it wide open. A smile spread across my face, and tears streamed down my cheeks. I wrapped the pup back up in the blanket, then fumbled for my phone. I was too excited to text, so I hit the number on my speed dial. She picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Grandma!" I shrieked. "You'll never guess what's happened!"
"Pumpkin?" Grandma Frost asked. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
I started to answer her, but that's when the wolf pup opened its eyes for the briefest second, for the barest moment of time. What I saw took my breath away and made me wonder if I was dreaming. The phone slipped from my fingers and thumped to the floor.
"Gwen? Gwen!" Grandma's voice rang out through the phone, but I wasn't paying attention to her anymore.
Instead, I was looking at the wolf. Once again, the pup opened its eyes for just a split second. I hadn't been wrong before, and I wasn't just imagining things.
The pup's eyes were the same color as Vic's-the soft color of twilight.
"A Fenrir wolf pup," Professor Metis said in wonder an hour later. "I've never seen one of them before."