My gaze moved past him. Daphne, Carson, Oliver, Kenzie, Metis, Nickamedes, Ajax. All of them were covered with blood-so much blood. They'd fought their way through the Reapers to get to me, someone who didn't deserve their friendship.
Someone who didn't deserve anything at all.
"Gwen?" Logan asked again, his voice dropping to a whisper. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"It was Vivian," I said in a dull tone. "It was Vivian the whole time. She has telepathy magic, illusion, confusion, and chaos powers. She tricked me into finding the Helheim Dagger for her, then used it and my blood to open a portal to Loki's prison. He's free. Loki's free, and Nott's dead."
I kept stroking the wolf's cold ears. "Poor Nott. She barely got a chance to live, you know? To be free. And now she's gone, all because of me. It's all my fault. My mom's murder, Vivian's freeing Loki, everything. You shouldn't have come for me. You should have just let the Reapers kill me. I should have let Preston kill me."
Logan stared at the others, then put down his sword and took off his shield. The Spartan dropped down on his knees beside me. He hesitated, then stretched out his arms, like he was going to hug me.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed, lurching away from him. "Don't you dare touch me!"
Confusion and hurt filled Logan's face, but he reached for me again. Somehow I was able to get to my feet and stumble away from the Spartan.
"Keep your distance!" I screamed, whirling around. "All of you! Don't come near me!"
This time, Daphne stepped forward, her eyes full of worry. "Gwen? Just calm down, okay? Nobody's going to hurt you now. We're your friends. We're here to help you."
I let out a bitter laugh. "It's not you that I'm worried about. It's me."
"Did the Reapers-did the Reapers hurt you?" Oliver asked in a low voice.
I laughed again, a little louder and harsher this time. "Yes, yes, they did. Vivian cut my palm open to the bone, and Preston stabbed me in the chest with the Helheim Dagger."
"But you look ... okay," Oliver said in a hesitant tone, as if he wasn't sure it was really true. He glanced at the others for some kind of help, but they all looked just as shocked and uncertain as he did.
"Oh, sure," I said. "I'm fine now. Because I did that to Preston."
The others looked at the dead Reaper lying on the cold marble.
"What happened to him?" Carson asked. "I don't see any wounds on his body."
"What happened to him? I killed him, Carson. With my touch magic. My power that's so very rare and so very special. I just grabbed hold of Preston, and I pulled all his energy, all his magic, all his freaking life, into my own body. To heal myself, to save myself. Some kind of Champion, I am, huh?"
The band geek stared at me, his mouth open in a silent O.
I turned to Metis, my gaze harsh and accusatory. "You told me that I could influence other people and objects with my psychometry. You never said anything about killing them. You never said anything about that."
"It'll be okay, Gwen," Metis said, slowly walking toward me. "It'll be okay. You'll see. We'll figure everything out. All that matters now is that you're safe."
I looked up at the sky, as if I could somehow see Vivian, Loki, and the Black roc they'd flown away on.
"None of us is safe," I muttered. "Not anymore."
As suddenly as it had come, all the fight and energy left my body. My knees buckled, and Logan's face was the last thing I saw before I passed out.
Chapter 26
Metis used her magic to heal me, and I woke up a few minutes later, still lying close to Nott. The next few hours passed in a haze of tears. Despite my demands to stay away from me, my friends put me on a stretcher and carried me out of the woods. They did the same for Nott, too, without my even asking.
They took me to Grandma Frost's house. I told my grandma the same thing I had the others-not to touch me. But of course, she didn't listen.
"You're my granddaughter," she said in a sharp voice. "You would never hurt me."
Then, Grandma cradled my bloody face in her hands, and I felt the warmth of her love wash over me, stronger than ever before. And I wept again.
Finally, I went upstairs to the bathroom, but instead of getting in the shower, I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. My brown hair was matted and snarled, my clothes were ripped, and black smudges of exhaustion ringed my haunted violet eyes. Even my snowflake necklace seemed dull and tarnished around my throat. There was blood all over the silver strands-my blood, Nott's blood. I took it off and left it on the bathroom counter. I'd been so happy when Logan had given me the necklace, but right now, I couldn't stand to look at it. I couldn't stand to look at myself.
I took a hot shower and cleaned up, but really, I was just going through the motions. I sat at the table in Grandma Frost's kitchen, listening to the story of how the others had found me. Apparently, I had Morgan McDougall to thank for my rescue. She'd been skirting around the edge of the quad, going back to her dorm room for the night, and had seen the Reaper girl carrying my body away. Morgan had followed the Reaper girl all the way to one of the academy gates, where she had removed her mask, showing Morgan who she really was. When Morgan realized that Vivian was taking me off campus, she'd called Professor Metis and raised the alarm. Metis and the others had eventually realized that Vivian had taken me to her family's nearby estate and had fought their way through dozens of Reapers who had gathered in the mansion and on the grounds.
After Metis finished the story about Morgan, the professor and I went into the bathroom, and Metis once again examined my hand and chest where I'd been stabbed. But both wounds were completely healed, except for the thin white lines that marred my skin. Metis tried to get rid of those as well, but no matter how much of her healing energy she poured into me, the marks didn't fade away. She thought it was because they'd been made with the Helheim Dagger. Metis said that powerful artifacts like that could sometimes leave behind scars that would never heal.
Just like my heart would never, ever heal. I didn't need the scars to remind me of what had happened. I'd never forget it, and I'd never stop blaming myself for everything, for all my many miserable failures.
Late that morning, we buried Nott in my grandma's backyard, right next to a lilac bush that was bare and brown for the winter. Logan and Oliver volunteered to dig the grave, and I insisted on helping, even though I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and never come out again. Metis, Ajax, Nickamedes, and Grandma Frost came outside to pay their respects to Nott, along with Daphne, Carson, and Kenzie.