I shake my head. ‘No, I’m good.’ I take out my phone and text Callie again. She hasn’t responded to my last two texts and I’m starting to wonder what’s up. It’s making me uneasy, but that feeling could also be stemming from the fact I’m under a lot of emotional stress and haven’t picked up a razor yet.
Kayden: Hey, it’s me again. R u okay? I’m starting to get worried.
I hold my phone for a while, waiting for a text to come through, but instead it starts to ring. Callie’s name flashes across the screen and a smile touches my lips as I get up and go back to the guestroom where I’ve been spending my nights.
‘I’m glad you called,’ I say, shutting the door behind me. I don’t bother turning the lamp on, since the sun’s still up enough to light up the room. ‘I was starting to get a little worried.’
‘I know you were,’ she replies remorsefully. ‘Sorry. I should have called sooner.’ There’s an edge to her voice and I know right away that something’s not right.
‘Something is wrong’ – I shove some of my dirty clothes out of the way then lie down on the bed – ‘isn’t there?’
She lets out a shaky breath. ‘Kind of. I mean, everything’s okay now.’
My body goes rigid. ‘But it wasn’t a while ago?’
‘No, not really.’
I hesitate, unsure if I should ask because of the reluctant tone she has. ‘Do you …? Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Not really,’ she sighs. ‘But I probably should.’ Another sigh. Then another. It’s driving me mad knowing something happened, but not knowing what. ‘I ran into Caleb today.’ Her voice is barely a whisper.
I bolt upright from the bed, completely taken off guard. ‘What? Where?’ My hands ball into fists and I have to stab my nails into my palms to keep myself from losing it. I need to calm down. Need to de-stress somehow because I’m feeling that pull again, toward my razor … my flesh … the pain … the blood … the relief. I squeeze my eyes shut. ‘Please, tell me you’re okay.’
‘I’m fine, Kayden. I promise. I just ran into him at the store while I was texting you. It’s why I stopped.’ Her pause seems to last forever. ‘I’m okay, though. I totally stood up to him and even shoved him when he tried to grab me.’
‘He tried to grab you?’ I’m so angry I have to pry my nails away from my palms and grab onto a nearby throw pillow to grip the shit out of it. ‘In a fucking store?’
‘Yes, but it’s okay,’ Callie says quickly. ‘I got to stand up to him like I’ve always wanted to do. And Jackson called the cops and they arrested him. God, I can’t believe he’s behind bars.’ She sounds happy about it, but I’m not, still stuck on the part where he put his freaking hands on her.
‘I want to beat the shit out of him right now,’ I admit, chucking the pillow at the wall, ‘for touching you.’
‘But you don’t need to this time,’ she says proudly. ‘I took care of him myself. I stood up to him and Jackson called the police and he was arrested for the drug charges pressed against him last year, so he might end up in jail. And I know it’s in no way enough for what he did to me, but it still feels like I’m getting a little bit of resolution.’
‘Callie …’ I struggle with what to say, with what to do, with how to calm myself down, and not have another slip up.
‘Kayden …’ Her tone is way lighter than one would expect it to be. How can she be so calm? While I’m a wreck? And it doesn’t even have anything to do with me.
‘Tell me what to do,’ I say in a strained whisper. ‘I need to do something; otherwise, I’m going to lose it.’
‘You can tell me about how you are,’ she suggests. ‘I need the distraction.’
‘Really? That’s all you need.’
‘Yes.’
‘I can do that.’ I blow out a breath and try to relax and tell her about my trip, even though I’ve already texted her about the majority of it. But she asked me to do it and that’s all that really matters at the moment. Not my need to beat Caleb or my rage. It’s not a my thing, but about her.
After I’ve yammered her ear off for about an hour, long enough that the sun is slowly descending behind the mountains, I stop to give her some time to speak, asking her what her plans are, besides snowboarding with her brother.
‘Well, I should probably tell you I’m heading back to Laramie tomorrow morning,’ she says and I can hear her typing on her computer, probably writing either a story for class or an article for her internship.
‘But I thought you weren’t going back until Monday morning?’ I slip my shoes off and kick them off the bed.
‘Yeah, but Jackson wants me to show him all the fun partying stuff to do in Laramie on Saturday and then hit some slopes down there on Sunday. Honestly, I’m ready to get out of this town. As much fun as I’ve had decking out the Christmas tree, I miss our home.’
I smile as I lean against the headboard and stretch out my legs. ‘I miss our home, too, but I have to ask, you showing Jackson the party scene? Really?’
She laughs and it’s the most serene sound I’ve ever heard, like what music does to some people. ‘Yeah, crazy, right? I’d worry I’d disappoint, but he seems to have chilled out on the partying and I think it’s been a while, so I’m hoping that means it won’t take a lot for him to have fun. Plus, Luke and Violet are there.’
I can’t contain my laughter. ‘So you, Luke, Violet, and Jackson are all going to hang out?’
‘Hey, I’m friends with them, too,’ she protests, offended. ‘And I already texted Luke to tell him what’s up and he said he was down to chill.’
‘I know you’re friends with them.’ I let my laughter die down. ‘Sorry, it was just a little unexpected. I’m sure you’ll have fun, although I’m jealous I can’t be there.’
‘I’m sorry you can’t either, but I’m totally going to have fun,’ she says mischievously. ‘I’m going to wear that dress I wore on Halloween and be a party animal.’
‘No way. No wearing that dress without me around.’
‘You sound jealous.’
‘I am.’
‘You should come home early, too, then, and I’ll put on the dress for you.’ She pauses. ‘Or maybe I’ll just wear the boots and nothing else.’