She removes the paper towel from the gash, briefly examining it before unscrewing the cap off the peroxide. “This might sting a little,” she warns.
“I can handle it,” I assure her, but take a deep inhale anyway.
She tips the bottle and douses the cut. I hardly move, even when the sizzling liquid stings my flesh. I’m more fixated on watching Avery take care of me. The way her fingers graze my skin and the way she’s careful with everything. From her touch to the way she cradles my hand in hers is driving me mad in the best way possible. I can’t even remember the last time someone did something like this for me and it makes me realize how much I’ve missed someone taking care of me.
“There. All fixed up,” she says when she presses the last band aid over the wound. “You’ll be almost as good as new.”
I glance down at the band aid that has puppies on it. “Puppies?” I raise my hand and cock my brow. “Really?”
“Hey, if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.” She bends over to collect the peroxide bottle and garbage from the ground. “I still think you should get stitches but it’s your choice what you do.” When she stands back upright, her expression gradually plummets as her gaze converges with mine, as if she sees something in my eyes that terrifies her. “But anyways, I better get back to work.” She hitches her finger over her shoulder and steps away from me.
It dawns on me then that I wanted to ask her stuff. It’s why I ended up cutting my hand in the first place—because I was too fixated on her.
“Avery, wait. Is everything—”
“You should probably get back to work too,” she cuts me off then spins on her heels, calling dismissively over her shoulder, “And make sure to take care of that cut.”
I stare down at my hand, feeling the sting of rejection. But I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. It’s just another wound. Nothing a scar won’t fix.
Chapter 9
This is life, not a dream.
Avery
Flames circle me, singe at my flesh. It’s so bright and yet so dark as the fire mixes with the smoke and melts the paint off the walls around me. I try to get up¸ but my body won’t budge. My world is collapsing around me. My life is collapsing around me. I’m going to burn alive. I know it. Can feel it in the heaviness of my lungs.
I’m going to burn alive.
And it is all my fault.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Flames. Bright. Hot. I’m going. Drifting. Dying. My last breath is leaving my lungs and my final thoughts are going through my mind...
Keep Mason safe for me.
Keep Jax safe.
Let them both have good lives.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
I can feel my skin melting off like wax, but the pain is no longer there. Instead, I feel at peace as my world around shifts into something else. Something that used to calm me.
The stars.
Help me.
Keep me.
Put me back.
Help.
Help.
Help.
“Avery, can you hear me?”
What are you trying to tell me?
Please, just tell me what I’m supposed to be doing.
“Avery, wake up.”
My eyes shoot open and I jolt back, bumping my head on the back of the seat.
“Oh my God, are you okay?”
My attention whips to the passenger side of my Jeep. Tristan’s friend Nova Reed is sitting in the seat with the door ajar. Her expression is laced with concern, and she has a power drill in her hand. It takes me a beat to process what’s going on. Somehow I managed to fall asleep on the job. Thankfully, it’s at the Habitat for Humanity one—the one I don’t get paid for—so even though it’s not the best situation, it could be worse. Way, way worse.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I tell Nova, my eyelashes flitting against the sunlight as images of the fire still sting at my brain. Then I glance at a piece of paper on my lap and remember why I’d decided to eat lunch in the car.
Because I felt like being alone.
The note was on my doorstep this morning. A stupid note from the stupid bastard ex-husband of mine who right on cue upped his harassing phone calls to letters.
Avery, we need to talk. It’s important. I want to see Mason and you. Just let me see you guys, even if it’s for a couple of minutes. You owe me that.
He didn’t sign it, probably knowing he’d be in deep shit if he did, but I recognized his handwriting. He can go fuck himself because he’s not ever seeing Mason or me again. His visits aren’t worth anything and I’ll never, ever take my second chance and waste it on him.
“Are you sure?” Nova asks me. “You look a little out of it. I could cover for you if you want to nap longer.”
I first met Nova while she was helping build my house. She’s actually the one that introduced me to Tristan. She seems really sweet and nice, and like someone who I would have hung out with back when I still had dreams instead of nightmares.
“No, you don’t need to do that,” I respond, even though I would rather be napping, if it didn’t include nightmares. I probably got maybe two hours of sleep last night, my mind still too focused on a million different things. Like what happened with Mason and how guilty I feel about it. It’s been a few days since the incident at his school but I haven’t gotten over how upset he looked.
“You look really tired,” Nova subtly remarks. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Everything’s great,” I promise her, balling up the empty sandwich bag my lunch was in while stifling a yawn. “I just had some finals last night and didn’t get much sleep.”
“I didn’t know you were taking classes.” She fans her hand in front of her face as the blistering heat scorches down on us. “That’s so cool, but how do you find time when you work and do this?”
“I take classes online.” I open the door to get out. “And thanks for waking me up by the way.”
“No problem,” she replies, tightening the elastic around her side braid as we hike up the dirt driveway toward the house. “So when are finals over for you?”
“I just finished my last one.” I flick flakes of sawdust off the front of my purple tank top then adjust the hem lower to make sure the scars on my abdomen are concealed beneath the fabric. “But I only have a week off before fall semester starts.”
“Well, that sucks.” She contemplates something as we weave around a small crew taking a smoke break and make our way toward the back area of the foundation. “How long until you graduate?”