I propped my elbow on the table and put my chin on my hand.
“I was fat.”
They both blinked at me and then shared a look. Ayden’s light twang asked, “So?”
“It made me shy and awkward, something I never outgrew. I got picked on a lot in school. People were mean, it hurt, and now even though I’m not that girl on the outside, I am still totally her on the inside, and it makes me act like a weirdo.”
Shaw pushed her long hair back over her shoulder and looked at me questioningly. “What does that have to do with Nash?”
I waved a hand sloppily in the air in front of me. “You trust Rule, Ayden trusts Jet … but to me, why should I trust anyone when there are girls like that throwing themselves at him? Boys like pretty girls that are no work.” I said it like I was an authority on the matter.
They shared another look and Shaw told me point-blank, “Nash isn’t like that. First of all he is the least judgmental guy in the world, and second he has never, and I mean never, spent as much time with any single girl as he has with you.”
Ayden made a noise and patted me on the knee. “I hate to tell you this, honey, but those boys have the pick of the ladies they want to spend time with: skinny, chubby, blond, brunette … you name it and they can have it. The point I think you might be missing is that clearly our boy has picked you to spend time with and he has made that choice over and over again.” She pushed some of her dark hair out of her face and lifted a dark eyebrow at me. “And believe me, none of them are scared of doing a little work.”
I was listening to their words, but at the same time one of the college girls broke from the pack and waltzed up to the table. Nash was leaning on the pool cue, and even though she was clearly headed in his direction, his gaze was locked directly on me. He was watching me closely and all I could do was stare back. I couldn’t ever imagine trusting someone, loving someone so unquestioningly that you just knew that you were the only person they were thinking about, the only person they wanted. That seemed like a fantasy to me. That couldn’t exist in real life … could it?
“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.”
They both started to talk at the same time, trying to reassure me that Nash was loyal, that he was a great guy, that he was the nice one in the group, that he was typically the voice of reason because Rule was such a hothead and Jet tended to be moody and emotional. I listened to it all with half an ear while I watched the coed put her hand on Nash’s chest and smile coyly up at him. I don’t know what bothered me more, that she was openly flirting with him, or that it bothered me so much. It made me very uneasy to watch it happen.
Nash shook his tattooed head, took a step back, and handed his pool cue to Rowdy so he could wind his way through the throng of ladies. His eyes stayed locked on mine. I think he could tell I was upset, and not by anything the girls said, but by the overt attention he was drawing. He wasn’t mine, at least not in any kind of spoken, official capacity, so it shouldn’t matter, but it did.
He dropped his hands on my shoulders and I felt him drop a light kiss on the crown of my head. It was that, those simple little gestures that tried to untie all the things I thought I had knots tied securely around.
“Everything okay?”
Shaw and Ayden nodded and I gasped as he turned my chair around so that I was facing him. He put a hand on either side of the chair so I was caged in and forced to look up at him.
“Seriously, are you all right? We can go if you need to.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It would be the second time he had left his friends early because of me, because I just couldn’t get my head together. I opened my mouth to respond, to tell him it was fine. His friends were actually really nice. I had a nice enough buzz going that I could fake my way through another hour or so, but I didn’t get the chance to speak because Rule suddenly appeared at the table, his light-colored eyes wide in his handsome face.
“Rome just called me. Cora’s in labor.”
Everyone was suddenly in a flurry of activity. Jet and Ayden, Rule and Shaw, all flew out of the bar without bothering to pay the bill. I looked at Nash in surprise as he waved the outrageously good-looking bartender over with a flick of his fingers.
“Why is everyone freaking out?” I didn’t understand the sudden rush and hasty departures.
Rowdy materialized and pulled a bunch of bills out of his wallet that was attached to his pocket with a chain and handed it to the bartender.
Nash put a hand on my wrist and helped me to my feet. I was a little bit wobbly, so I put an arm around his waist.
“She’s early, the baby. Cora wasn’t supposed to be due until closer to the end of the month. Man, she’s gonna be bummed out her dad isn’t here.”
He pulled out his phone and started firing off text messages.
“How many weeks is she?” I slipped easily into a role that I was comfortable with. Jealous, slightly drunk, not-quite girlfriend made my skin hurt.
He looked at me like I was speaking another language.
“She’s probably fine. She’s just petite and the baby is probably pretty big considering the size of the dad. If your friend is at least thirty-seven weeks, that’s considered full term, and she and the baby will be fine.”
He hustled me out of the bar and I balked when he stopped by the Charger and not the Jetta.
“You were doing shots with Ayden, so I know you had to be drinking more than you’re used to. I don’t want you driving, so I’ll take you home and we can get your car tomorrow.”
He put the key in the door and I looked up at him in a mixture of appreciation and fear. I really wished he didn’t make it so easy to like him … more than like him, really.
“I know you’re worried about your friends. I can call a cab.” His eyes got dark like they did when he was feeling something strongly.
“Saint …” His voice was scratchy and gruff. He ran his thumb over the curve of his chin, which made me quake. “I worry about you just as much. I’m not sure when that happened, but it did. I’ll get you home and then go to the hospital.”
I gulped and silently nodded. He helped me into the car and we took off into the night. He was tense; I could feel it, and while I could rattle off a million and one medical reasons that things would probably be just fine, I knew that wasn’t what would make him feel better. He already had one person he loved slipping away from him; the thought of losing another was probably torture. I reached out a shaky hand and put it on his arm where it was resting on the stick shift. The muscles were rock-hard and had a fine tremor in them.