“You moved all the way back here to help her out, to be closer to her and us. She’s not even thinking about that, and now, looking at what is happening, I almost wish you had stayed in California.”
She pouted a little and I rolled my eyes at how dramatic she was being.
“You’re still here. The kids are here. I love my job and I love my boss. If I want to go back for my master’s, I have a bunch of different schools to choose from. I don’t regret coming back to Denver. I’m happy with my life, Faith.”
I was. I really was, and now with the addition of Nash and the new and exciting way he tended to force me outside of my comfort zone, I was even starting to appreciate all the new things in it.
“Would you have said that a few months ago? Before him?”
That was a tricky question. I never had any complaints about my life. I was doing what I was meant to do, what I had always wanted to do, so I was fulfilled, but I don’t know that I was exactly happy.
“I’m not sure.” It was as honest as I could be.
“Well, I have to go save Justin from the kids. He has to work tonight.” She sounded put out and disgruntled.
I walked around the counter and put my arms around her in a hug she stiffly returned.
“Don’t worry about me or Mom. We’ll all be fine.”
She gave me a sad smile and headed toward the door. “I wish I could believe that. I’ve seen what broken hearts do to the women in this family, and it never ends well.”
She had a point, so I just stared at the door after it shut behind her.
I had the day off and didn’t really know what to do with myself. Lately, when I wasn’t working I was with Nash. Before, when I had a day off I would spend it reading, or just puttering around the house, or with Faith and the kids. How boring was that? I had no social circle, no place to be, or anyone missing me. Maybe Sunny was right and I was just starting to see what living life fully meant.
I got dressed and decided instead of staying at my apartment and brooding, I was going to go shopping and find something cute and sassy to wear to the bar tonight so that when I met all of Nash’s crew I would feel confident and as comfortable as I could be. I wasn’t going to let my insecurity and nervousness ruin what could be an enjoyable night out even though I knew I was going to be on the spot. His friends wanted to meet me because we were spending so much time together lately, and I knew that it was unusual for him to be interested in the same girl for so long. I just hoped their reaction was different from Faith’s. I didn’t want them to tell him he could do better, because a secret part of me wanted to be the best thing that ever happened to him.
“It doesn’t bother you?” I was a little drunk, possibly sloppy, and talking way more than I normally did. Someone was passing around tequila shots, and to calm my nerves I may have had more than I meant to.
Shaw was really sweet and really pretty. She had made a beautiful bride, but up close and personal, the softness and sweetness that shined out of her was hard not to just melt into. She was also pre-med and really close to getting her undergrad, so she had about a million and one questions about what it was like working in an ER, which meant I got to talk about my favorite thing, my job. I could do that with or without the tequila.
She shook her head and gave a sardonic little grin. “If I got mad every time a girl hit on him—or tried to pick him up—or gave him sex eyes, I wouldn’t have time to feel anything else. It just comes with being with a guy like him.”
Rule and Nash had gone off to play a game of pool at the back of the bar with my other tablemate’s husband, the rocker, as well as a blond guy with really big hair and a big tattoo of an anchor on the side of his neck. Ayden was probably the most beautiful woman I had ever seen up close and personal. Her eyes were spectacular, and even though I found her intimidating and slightly cool, her drawl was charming and her sharp wit was infectious, so despite my inherent hesitation and irritation that Nash had left me alone on purpose to get grilled by the girls, I was doing all right carrying on a conversation with both of them.
“But they are being so obvious.”
I was talking about the group of college-aged girls that had gathered in a loose huddle around where the guys were playing the game. A collective sigh went up when Jet, Ayden’s husband, bent over the table to take a shot. I mean there wasn’t much he could hide in those tight pants he had on, but still, if that was my other half, my skin would be crawling. It already was and I didn’t even know what Nash was to me. I mean I was starting to figure it out, but I wasn’t brave enough or secure enough in myself or him to give it a name.
Ayden laughed a little and licked the salt off the back of her hand that had been left over from the last round of shots.
“They always are. You just have to know that even though the girls are looking, the guys never look back. You can’t be with someone and not trust them completely. It will never work out.”
Considering Jet was not only gorgeous but also in a band and on the road a lot, I guess that meant she really, really trusted him.
I made a face and blurted out with tequila-scented courage, “But I remember all of them in high school. They slept with everything that moved. How can you know that they are any different now?”
I blinked in shock because that wasn’t appropriate or something I would normally ever say. I felt a flush fill my face, but Shaw reached out a small hand and put it on my arm. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.
“I was a few years behind you in school, Saint, so I know. I know what Rule was like, I remember very clearly how bad they all were. People change. Time makes us grow. Life happens, good and bad, and it’s the person you love, the man inside you can’t live without, not the sum of what he did or didn’t do when he was younger and still figuring life out.”
Ayden picked up her beer and nodded solemnly. “I spent years and years trying to bury a past that is really ugly, that I thought in turn made me really ugly. Who I am now is not that person, but I wouldn’t exist without those experiences.”
I bit my bottom lip. It was tangy from lime and booze. A tight breath shuddered out of my lungs and I let my gaze dance from one of them to the other. They were lovely young women. Strong enough to deal with the attention their men garnered, kind enough to welcome me into the fold with no judgment because they wanted Nash to be happy. I just didn’t know that I could ever be as clear on the past versus the present as they seemed to be.