I took a second look at the file, but there was nothing about what had happened to the Teflon crew. Apparently, Wedderburn took me at my word when I declined. Maybe Kian was right when he guessed that Dwyer was trying to drive me crazy by hurting the people around me. There was nothing to confirm or deny the speculation, however, in these files.
“Then … we have one night left together. Just one.”
“You’ve given me so much more than I ever expected,” he said softly.
There had to be some way out of this maze, but my brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders. I fell silent, the closer we got to my place. How am I supposed to go upstairs, eat Japanese with my dad, and act like nothing’s wrong? I wanted to cry, break things, and scream until I had no voice left.
“There’s no point in hiding things from me anymore,” I mumbled. “So what did you promise in return for my safety? And who’s the third player?”
He smiled then. “You’re so persistent. I love that about you. Try not to feel sad about the situation with Wedderburn.” Such a stupid word for his imminent death, situation. “I didn’t have that long anyway.”
“Kian! For the last time, what did you promise? And to who?”
“My life,” he said simply. “When I made the compact with the Harbinger, he gave me until my twenty-first birthday. Six months with you, so worth it to be happy that long, knowing you’d be all right after I was gone.”
“Since you said that with a straight face, the world’s lucky you’re never serving on the Supreme Court because you’re definitely the stupidest person on the planet. How does this work? If Wedderburn executes you, won’t it cause problems with this Harbinger?”
The idiot actually grinned. “God, I hope so.”
“This isn’t funny! I won’t be okay if something happens to you. Don’t you get that?”
The weight of the look he aimed at me said when not if, but I couldn’t face it. “I won’t give up. I promised myself I never would again. There has to be something I can do.”
“Even if you could protect me from Wedderburn, my time will be up in six months.”
“If you don’t shut up, I will seriously punch you. Let me think.”
But no answers came to me. Kian had dug a grave and in the morning, Wedderburn would shove him into it. When he stopped outside my apartment, it was almost six, and I was barely choking back tears. I didn’t want to get out of the car, but I couldn’t make my dad worry, either. You’re all he has left.
“Here’s the plan,” I said. “I’ll have dinner with him, then go to my room like I usually do. I’ll text you.”
“You can call, if you want. I think we’ve reached that point in our relationship.”
“Stop it.” I hated that he could smile, but he seemed pleased with the fact that he’d drawn all the lines around me, just like he’d promised. And he’s fighting for you with his life.
Kian, no.
“Sorry I interrupted. You’ll text me…?”
“And you’ll pop in to get me. I want to spend the night at your place, but I don’t want to freak my dad out. You can bring me back in the morning.”
If he thought I was going to school, however, he was nuts. I’d stay only long enough to make sure my dad left for work. Whatever happened with Wedderburn, I’d go with Kian, and we would face it together. Surely I could fix this, somehow.
“If I was a better person, I’d say no. But I don’t want to spend my last night alone.”
This time I leaned over to kiss him, silencing the words that tunneled into my heart until I couldn’t feel anything but pain. This isn’t happening. This is not real. But like with my mother’s death, I didn’t wake. I got out of the car and went into our apartment, where I ate yakimeshi and pretended I wasn’t dying inside.
Dad talked about his work, and each unconscious pause told me he was waiting for my mother to chime in, responding to his theories. I did my best to fill her shoes, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded. It seemed improbable that I could ever invent anything that resulted in time travel. Around nine, my dad went to his room and shut the door. That was my cue to do the same.
In the master suite, I locked up and called Kian. “Come get me.”
He did.
Bittersweet memories assailed me, the first time he traveled with me like this. Tonight we could go anywhere and who would punish us? “Is there anything you want to see? Anywhere you want to go? There’s nothing preventing us now.”
To my surprise, he shook his head. “I only want to be with you. I’d run if I thought it would do any good, but they can track me through the watch. The thing only comes off if I die or Wedderburn removes it.”
“We could stop your heart.” I was only half kidding.
Weirdly, he appeared to consider it before shaking his head. “If you failed to bring me back, it’d eat you up. You can’t be the one who kills me, Edie.”
“I know,” I whispered. “But I can’t give up, either.”
“You’re unbelievably, fantastically determined to save me. Come here.” Lacing our fingers together, he led me to his bedroom.
The bed was neatly made with a navy-and-white-striped comforter, pillows propped up against the simple headboard. I didn’t hesitate when Kian drew me down with him. With every part of me, I wanted to be close, closer still. But he didn’t kiss me, as if he feared I’d misinterpret his intentions.
“Is this where you tell me it’s your last wish not to die a virgin?” Worst joke ever, but otherwise, I’d spent the next eight hours crying.
I can’t do that to him. I’ll use that time to think and to soak him in.
“What makes you think I would?”
“Ouch. I thought you said you don’t date.”
His lips quirked. “You think people have to date to hook up? That’s so cute.”
“Maybe you’re not the droid I’m looking for.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I wish I could say I never have, but—”
“No, it’s okay.”
“You can ask.”
“Do I want to know?”
“You’re the only one who can determine that.”
“Then I guess … yes. Tell me. Not how many, when or where.”
He settled me against his chest and turned on the TV, more for background noise. I liked his bedroom better than mine. “I got lost in the attention. Before, I was so nervous, and after, it was so easy. The first time I had sex, I’d only known the girl for like four hours.”