“And done.” Before he could do more than hug me and kiss my cheek, the instructor called us to attention and directed us to our next lesson.
Possibly because there were only thirty-six of us, no cliques developed, and nobody was left out. And that was just on the social front. School-wise, I learned a ton. By the time the program wrapped up, we had gone to the Jet Propulsion Lab, the Caltech campus, and Griffith Observatory. Of the trips, I liked the last one most. There was something freeing about being surrounded by people who shared my interests. Nobody thought I was weird for being interested in the stars, not that I wanted to study them professionally. I just found them fascinating, so I enjoyed my time in the dome, working on the orbit determination project.
The weeks melted away, and I came out of the program stronger and more confident. Kian will be proud, I thought, as I put the last load of clothes I’d ever wash on this campus into the dryer. While I might not be completely used to my new self, I’d gotten good at pretending. That’ll have to be enough.
The final night in our dorm room, Vi lay on her bed, dreamy-eyed. “Seth and I are going to keep in touch. I have his, IM, Snapchat, Whatsapp, and stuff. He lives in Illinois, so he’s only three hours away.”
I paused the packing long enough to suggest, “You could meet halfway for dates.”
She sat up in excitement, got online and found the town that was exactly an hour and a half between them. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I never thought of this. It could totally work. I mean, we’d only see each other once a week, but it would be so worth it.”
“He really likes you.”
And it was so awesome to see that not all guys were ass**les. Both Seth and Ryu were decent people, who cared more about what a girl was like than how she looked. But I couldn’t help a kernel of doubt regarding Ryu when I considered that Seth had gone for Vi without her getting a complete makeover.
She wore a stubborn look. “Ryu’s into you, too. Sucks that he lives so far away.”
“Yeah, I won’t be doing the long distance thing to Tokyo.”
Vi relented with a laugh. “I guess not. I don’t even know what the time difference is.”
I’d been dorky enough to look it up, but both Ryu and I agreed while we could e-mail, it wouldn’t be like we were in a relationship. We’d both be free to date, which was crucial for the next phase in my plan. I couldn’t wait to see Cameron Dean—and not because I secretly adored the guy who had been so cruel to me. I had no soft feelings for him. This fall at Blackbriar I’d be a one-girl wrecking crew. And I knew who I’d hit the hardest.
Cameron had been the meanest of the guys, focused on me with an uncanny laser beam of douchebaggery. He was the one who got them to steal my gym clothes. He’d also squirted ketchup on my pants, which led to an endless parade of on-the-rag jokes. Then, of course, there was the worst prank—the one that broke me—but I wouldn’t think about that right now. Slowly I shoved down the wave of endless shame.
Vi’s here, and she likes me, here and now. She doesn’t know any of that, thank God. Not that it would change things, but I needed a clean slate, free of mockery and humiliation. While I strangled memory demons, Vi called to tell Seth the good news and they talked for an hour, making plans. I laughed when I heard her arguing with him about where they should meet, because that would be their place from that point on, and didn’t it deserve a little thought, and certainly shouldn’t be a random Burger King? This was the girl who couldn’t talk a guy earlier in the summer, and gladness surged through me that I’d played a part in leaving her life a bit better than I found it. Otherwise, she hadn’t changed. She wasn’t prettier. But she had more confidence, which resulted in a boyfriend. The people who wrote articles about self-assurance being a great attractor obviously knew what was up.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded, after she hung up.
“You are.” Still laughing, I explained why.
She hurled a pillow at me, a habit I’d miss. “You’re not wrong, though. It’s pretty cool that I’m not freaked anymore. Guys are just people, you know? Some will like me, some won’t. That’s life.”
“You’re wise beyond your years, young Padawan.”
“Whatever. I’m going to brush my teeth. And you should call Ryu.”
Once Vi gathered her basket of bath supplies, I headed for the phone, which rang as I reached for it. Apparently, Seth had been telling Ryu the exact same thing.
“Hey, you,” he said.
“Hey, yourself.”
A knot formed in my throat. I liked talking with Ryu, laughing with him, his arm around my shoulders on a summer night, while we made notes on astrological phenomena.
“Did Vi lecture you?”
I laughed softly. “Yeah. They don’t get that our circumstances are different. Long distance will be hard, but doable, for them.”
“But it doesn’t make sense for us,” he replied.
“I knew that shirt was a good move.” Idly I wondered why Kian had bought the thing.
“Are you going to wear it again?” Though he tried to hide it, I could tell he didn’t want me to.
If I put the shirt on again, it would become a fetish-thing, like I was obsessed with Japanese guys, and I didn’t plan to cheapen what we’d had.
“Nah,” I said. “It did the trick. But I’ve gotta be honest. That shirt was a gift. I had no idea what it said. I just didn’t want you to think I was an idiot.”
He laughed. “I know. You covered, but I could tell. For the first thirty seconds, you were very W-T-F?” Ryu went on, “And of course you’re not an idiot. You blew us all out of the water in physics. You’re the total package.”
I hadn’t been, until Kian got his hands on me. My pulse fluttered, thinking about seeing him again. Bad hormones. Cut that out. Likely it was just a combination of factors that made me feel this way. He’d saved me, changed my life. How could I not feel something toward him? I’d get over it.
“I’ll e-mail,” I said softly. “With the time difference, it’ll be tough to Skype.”
“Cool. And who knows where we’ll go to college.”
“Are you considering the US?”
“Yep. My mom’s family lives in Sacramento.”
I’d known his dad was Japanese, his mother American, transferred overseas by her company; she met his dad, loved it there, and stayed. Since I hadn’t expected to be alive, I’d made no college plans. A spark of remorse popped like a live wire; I had lied through my teeth when my parents checked with me, and because they trusted me, they didn’t demand to see my scores. Why would they? I didn’t deceive them, so far as they knew, and I never got in trouble. I was smart; I had their genes, and I always brought home straight As. So when I made up some results and accepted the accolades, they ordered pizza.